ah... scratch another off the dating list.

the second date. dinner and comedy club. fine, right? eh... one would think so.

dinner -
villa mosconi. decent food. we were yapping, i mean we could sort of talk, and i wasn't nervous last night. he'd said something to me and i said "I know!" sort of with the same inflection as seinfeld might have... can you picture it? well, it apparently didn't sit well with him

he proceeds to say "never speak like seinfeld again"... he wasn't joking. it was ONE "i know!"

still at dinner... he mentions that he's told a few of his friends how we met, but doesn't want anyone else to know that we met on match.com (a little late, when it comes to me writing about this)

fine. i can respect that.

he throughout the evening, thus far, is mocking me and whatever jokes i have said - even non-jokes... sort of condescending in an "i-am-an-attourney-and-am-better-than-you" way

fine. i am not really yapping much at this point now.

comedy cellar -
great line-up. so excited! darryl hammond was going to perform and judygold was, too - as well as 4 or 5 others

we were seated in the front row. center stage.

so after the emcee mocks us and the first comic mocks us for being "the whitest couple ever", judy gold takes the stage. i love her act. have respected her as a comic for 12 years.

she comes out, mocks us for being really white.

then asks how long we've been dating

B answers "this is the second date"
Judy: "how did you two meet?"

i look at B since he just gave me the warning earlier about the whole "not from the internet" thing.

B: "we met at a bar"
Me: "yeah" - maybe i gave a you-are-lying-look, who knows
Judy: "No you didn't. I can tell. You met on the internet.

at this point i start giggling and blushing
B blushes and a mortified look casts over his face.

Judy: "so what are your screen names?"

Me: (thinking i could drum up traffic) "gigglechickdotcom" - which it's not
B: (thinking he will get her off his back) "long dong silver"
(in my head i am thinking - oh dear gawd, that was pathetic)

Judy: "eh, right. so did you have sex on the first date?"

at this point... B turns to me and says "i told you i didn't want anyone to know that we met on the internet" (as if i am in cahoots with judy and paid her to say these things)

he stands up. grabs his coat. and leaves.

leaves.

LEAVES!

judy looks down at me, the entire place is in shock - she asks me "did he just leave?"

and i said "yup. looks like there's not gonna be a third date" and then they left me alone - i stayed through the show, saw darryl hammond, paid and then went home.