10:37 PM|so i got a call from neil and i am gonna do a show at stand up new york on august 28th (a tuesday) at 9pm. if i get 7 people to show, i get to perform for 10 minutes. i SHOULD have some new material written by then... perhaps some sick parent bits. woo! i haven't been up onstage since january. haven't been up at StandUpNY since october last year i think... yikes! i pretty much was doing comic strip live and ny comedy club. i really ought to call the comic strip back they keep calling me to do shows...and i have been bad about returning calls lately.

but i will let y'all know and hopefully you folks in NYC will come and check me out at StandUpNY!!!

12:36 PM|#1... happy bastille day, Frenchies!!!

#2... uncle ben's chicken & vegetable bowls are brilliant

#3... kerry and i went to the union landing in brielle and had a few too many beverages. fun fun fun... wound up using the head on some guy's boat. (the head for all you landlubbers means toilet. nothing sexual, thank you very much!) saw a few people i went to high school with... and what trip to a local bar down the shore would be complete if i didn't run into a guy i used to date?? so i ran into only one of those. (the worst was about 4 years ago i was in leggett's in manasquan and i counted 13 ex's around the bar. i am still friends with most of the guys i have dated so it's not like i needed to run screaming out of the place that night -- although my brain was sort of saying "oh jeezuz! this is just NOT good!")


#4... mom is doing well..spoke to her doctor *sigh* and he says they are gonna probably move her to a regular room this afternoon. said he couldn't have asked for a better recovery and that all the stars were aligned for this one...good to hear! and monday she will probably go to the rehab center... now i can say "yeah, my mom is in rehab!!" and act like she's a morphine addict :)

3:23 PM|yikes! they made mom sit up and dangle her legs in a seated position! her blood pressure shot up... poor thing. she's being shipped off to rehab probably monday. yay. not yay, selfish, but yay! she will have 24 hour care..and not Fainty McFurkle over here being a boob.

12:08 PM|well... i just woke up... fell asleep at 3am (must find out where mom hid the tylenol PM) woke up at 9:30am to the phone ringing. it's one of her friends calling to see if she can visit... one of her other friends snuck into icu between visiting hours and was there for a short bit... but my mom was asking 'why was she here? i want to see them but they can wait til i get into a room" but the one that snuck in called the friend who called me this morning and told her she could go. the friend this morning said she called icu this morning to check up on her. and i am the only one who is supposed to call over there.

i totally understand that they are worried. and i understand that they probably still picture me as the 5 year old brat i was instead of the strong 31 year old woman...um..who faints and steps on her mom's IV... *sigh* no wonder they are taking stuff into their own hands.

anyway, i am off to see her again. then kerry and i are supposed to go out galavanting tonight - hopefully.

12:37 AM|um... it's friday the 13th.
should i DARE go to the hospital today?

12:21 AM|made me laugh...had to share... emotion eric
{link courtesy of flutter...glub...meow...}

11:19 PM|the ultimate insult has some keen links on it! *chuckle*

9:37 PM|ha!!! part of davezilla.... fuckedweblog.... delicious!!!

9:27 PM|hey. i am kinda digging this blog too ... found on aortal's anti-portal as well: a fire inside

3:13 PM|well... keeping with the latest theme of aortas...

poodlecircus is my aortal pick of the week:

1.) because the name cracks me up!
2.) because, quote, she said on july 5th:

"This afternoon I took my hamster for a walk in the garden. It wasn't for the first time, she's seen the garden several times last summer."

how can you not dig someone who walks a hamster!?

2:10 PM| woo! mom is off the ventilator as of 9am!!!! i didn't faint!!!! she's alert and doing really well...

11:53 AM|well... i am off to go have some more fainting spells from 12 - 2pm...then again from 4 - 6 and then 8:30 - 10...
i think i have 5 more gray hairs from all of this -
that's one drawback to dating someone 6'4"... they can look down and say "hey you've got gray hairs!"... yep. when i was a kid i used to pray to god to make me look like my aunt ann... a farm/horse woman... she has white hair and wrinkles. of ALL the things in my life i have prayed for, He hears my gray hair request!

so my cousins, jimmy & kenny, come over at 10:40 last night to bring over a bed for mom. they don't set it up. because i have to steam clean the carpet (2 dogs. need i say more? please don't make me) and they start growling at me about the carpet being a mess...

MY MOM IS HOOKED UP TO A TUBE THAT IS MAKING HER BREATHE. SHE JUST HAD HER AORTA PATCHED UP LIKE A BLOWN OUT TIRE ON THE PARKWAY, STOP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE SHIT!.

then they told me to stop crying. which made me cry more and i freaked them out. good. i try not to freak them out. do they think i don't realize the carpet has that "not-so-fresh" feeling?

and then they tell me to "Get rid of the dogs"

HEY! MY MOM IS TEETERING ON THE EDGE OF LIFE & DEATH IN ICU. MY DOGS ARE SCARED OUTTA THEIR MINDS IN A KENNEL WITH OTHER FREAKY DOGS BARKING. ARCHIE IS 10 YEARS OLD = 70 IN DOG YEARS. I AM ALL ALONE DEALING WITH THIS! NO. I AM NOT GETTING RID OF THE DOGS.

and i start crying harder. so they don't set up the bed. they tell me to clean the carpet today. and maybe they will be back tonight.

this fucking rocks. hoo-fricking-rah.

10:28 PM|hot damn. what a looooong day. mom is fine. Dr. Sharp said all went well, the main concern is her lungs because she has smoked for 50 years and up til yesterday smoked 4 packs a day. but they say that the ventilation tube MIGHT come out tomorrow. thank gawd. because she was trying to rip the tube out when i saw her... not a pretty site.

i fainted 3 more times after i saw mom in ICU. well... not fainted *crash* onto floor fainted... but my face went hot and sweaty, then the nurse asked if i was alright because i was whiter than my mom. and then my eyes started going dark and i sat down.

really not the best thing in the world to see your mom thrashing about trying to rip out tubes that are helping her breathe. unless her lungs were just like "What the heck is THIS!??! Oxygen!?!?! Get it out!!!! Don't you have Menthol Flavour?!?!"

so she will be in there til saturday probably then moved out of ICU and into a normal room.

and, oh. i am thinking of making something go wrong with my aorta, because HOLY LORD!!! her surgeon (even though he is married...) is -- well--- for lack of a better word... HAWT!... (erm... sorry joe, had to mention that :)

maybe i can fix my cousin up with a younger brother of his or something.

okay... well... i am so awfully tired! a big heartfelt "Thank YOU" to everyone who sent good vibes, prayers and wishes for me and my mom!! it really means a lot!!!!!!

10:55 AM|okay...since i am a bundle of nerves and have a mother sick in the hospital, what else can i do but create a guestbook for my site?
yes. i am a pitiful daughter.

my new guestbook can be found by clicking on the icon at the left that says "ravings" or you can just click here for the time being.

10:04 AM|well... it's 9:56am, i am home right now.. just got back from the hospital. mom isn't going in for surgery til 12:45pm... but they let us see her 1 last time while they prep her, the surgery will last about 5 - 6 hours, 2 hours recovery time, then off to ICU where i can see her. so we are looking at 9pm-ish at least...

let's see... what has transpired so far? mom had nicotine fit and growled at me. aunt judy and cousin kerry came over to pick us up to go to hospital. mom goes in and is fitted with IV, they let us go in to see her the first time. mom has charlie horse in her side and grabs for it with left hand, consequently jamming the IV needle thing into her hand deeper. blood starts gushing forth and i see it... all of a sudden i get lightheaded, and my face gets hot, and then next thing i know they are picking me up and putting me in a chair after i fainted. now i know WHY i am not a doctor. well, THAT and the fact that i am not big on studying.

did i mention the part where i looked down and realized i was standing on mom's IV tube? why it was that close to the ground i do not know.

*sigh* i think i might take a nap and then go back over there in an hour or two.

8:20 PM|well... surgery is at 7:30am. gotta drag ourselves there by 6am. *sigh* tiredness awaits.
so, kate williams apologized about the template (post from 2 days ago...) no problem, just wanted to know that i wasn't going nuts.

poor archie and beri. it killed me having to leave them at the kennel. took more toys and stuff there for them...seemed like when my mom made me take the kitchen sink to college.

so i have to program half my family's phone #'s into my phone tonight and use the batphone when mom is out of surgery (probably around noon tomorrow.)

hoping all will be ok. peace.

10:03 AM|so we are about to take archie & beri to the kennel (or "camp" as i have been telling them... although i really might be leery of any arts and crats they might bring home in a few weeks.)
they are letting them stay in the same cage... archie's my dalamation and beri is a yorkshire terrier... part of me thinks archie is gonna be pissed when he finds out she's in the same area...

archie: "dammit! all i wanted for the first time in 6 years was some peace and quiet!!"

see beri's yapping is worse than the highest note on a mariah carey album (disclaimer: not that i own any of her albums) and she has a foot nipping fetish.

archie will probably come home from 'camp' with bloody paws. poor guy.

6:22 PM|mmmmm.... manicure...pedicure.... pool...sun....burnt again!! yay!!!!! happy day!!!
off to bar-b-que

2:20 AM|ok... so i tweaked my website section and my illustration section of my resume/portfolio some more tonight...
must send to headhunter in the A.M.

12:06 PM|agenda for today:
• find bed for mom
(because she won't be able to walk upstairs after the surgery for about 6 weeks.)
• gather up blankets and toys for the dogs
(putting them in a kennel for a couple of weeks while post-surgery antics ensue)
• steam clean carpet
• grocery shopping
• god only knows what else

crap. i didn't get the tapes back to blockbuster by noon! damn. i forgot.

11:58 AM|yikes! people...sorry... i am boring even MYSELF!!!

11:31 AM|ok well... i THINK the template fiasco MIGHT be over (she changed the template on the main page and the blogger.html page seems to be taken down. i could be wrong, my machine might just be terribly slow!)...
on to better things to yap about!! raining here, so i think that shoots any thought about me going in the pool for a bit.

(note: few minutes later... no. my machine was just terribly slow. damn.)