6:01 PM|wooo hoooo!!! one of my favourites!!! except i would have preferred Scurvy - THAT is my all time favourite!!


Take the Affliction Test Today!

"I am Rickets. Hear your bones go boing."

5:15 PM|well... it's nice to know that when they get out, they'll be competing with me for design jobs

4:26 PM|so as i sit here waiting for grass skirt boy to get here... (actually he just called and shall be 2 hours late... *sigh* crazy working boys... so i am guessing he'll be here 'round 7:30) anyway, i never usually do this, but it's such a nice day, and i cleaned my apartment, well, i am partaking of a pint of guinness whilst i wait.

okay, well, it's not ACTUALLY in a pint glass, all my pint glasses have jumped off the counter over the past few years. it IS however in a huge wine glass. still tastes good.

1:13 PM|

today is world AIDS day.

as much as i don't want to think about AIDS, it's there. it's staring at us, still snickering at us when we are starting to focus on other diseases like anthrax and the "possibility" of small pox (as the news reports like to hype)

i want to be able to hide my head in the sand like an ostrich and pretend it doesn't exist. but i can't.

see, (this MAY become a long ramble) when i was a year old, my mother and father were happy to have a healthy baby girl and have told me that they wanted to "give back" in a way because they were "so blessed" (their words, i am not trying to be egotistical)

so when i was a year old they joined up with the fresh air fund and my new "brothers" stayed with us for 2 weeks that summer in 1971. they were twin 7 year old boys from Brownsville Brooklyn. Joseph and Jeffrey. over the next 10 years they lived with us during the entire summer. And then it progressed to where they would come for holidays (see my parents didn't want me to grow up prejudiced - the town i grew up in was 98% white. in high school there was one black kid who was jewish and had down's syndrome. reggie cohen.)

anyway, joe and jeff grew older, we drifted apart. every so often we would hear from them - they would call or take the train down and show up at mom's house - and usually the pattern was they would ask for money for something. which, mom was kind and gullable... this sounds like it is really going nowhere, but there is a point...

when i was 25 i learned that jeffrey had AIDS. i hadn't seen him in a long time, it was Joe that stopped by and he told us. He told us that Jeff was gay. which, growing up with him, hell, anyone could tell that (instead of playing basketball with the rest of the boys and joe - he would hang with all the girls in the neighborhood teaching us the Hustle or sewing costumes for the Gong Show that we held one year in my backyard (all proceeds went to this girl with cancer from our town... i digress)

anyway, i wasn't surprised at the news that jeff was gay. i was surprised to hear that he'd gotten mixed up in drugs. we don't know which was the cause for him getting AIDS. but he did. it really doesn't matter how it happened, what matters is he was sick.

in that same sit down with Joe, he told me how he was gay, was mixed up with drugs and had gotten AIDS too.

WHAT?!

you can't be gay! you were always the athlete and tough guy...! (yes, in hindsight, silly girl thoughts)

i never was able to bring myself to visit Jeffrey in Belleview and he died back in 1997.

the last i heard from joseph was when he was living in a shelter and called me asking to borrow $200 so he could buy a VCR. (not for nothing, but i barely was making any $ and had a 15 year old vcr held together with duct tape - just bought a new one this past year) i couldn't lend him that. and he never called me again.

i don't know if my remaining brother is living or dead at this moment, but what i do know is that i do love them. and i will have known 2 people that died from AIDS. i am a sheltered white girl from the suburbs of the jersey shore. i shouldn't know people with AIDS.

no one should know people with AIDS.

no one should HAVE AIDS.

my non-sensical rambling is over. go forth. live.

12:29 AM|just saw the date. god. it's december. ((shudder))

12:19 AM|i sit here awaiting the plug to be pulled

ya' know... i FINALLY get the damned thing because they called me last week and talked me into it... offering a month free, $100 gift check and free installation.

i find out yesterday that the gift check (which they said i would get before christmas) will not be available for 1 month after i receive my first bill, and then i have to send a copy of said bill with a coupon that i don't have and then wait a few weeks for the $...

today i find out the shut off news.

why the hell did i sign up for this? what i didn't know wasn't killing me. i HAD been fine with the aol dial-up even though it was excruciatingly slow... but now, and i speak in the voice of an addict, how am i ever going to go back to dial-up? only has been 4 days and already i am gonna have to go cold turkey. dammit.

*whine*

maybe i will start up IAA... Internet Addicts Anonymous.

"Hi... My name is Erin... I am a Blogaholic"

with the singsong chorus, "We love you, Erin"

4:01 PM|sometimes i hate the computer:

A judge cleared the way for bankrupt ExciteAtHome to turn off its high-speed Internet cable service as early as Friday night, which could affect about 4 million subscribers around the country.

The cable companies that connect their customers to the high-speed network said they plan to appeal the decision to U.S. District Court in San Francisco as soon as possible.

Bankruptcy Judge Thomas Carlson said Redwood City-based ExciteAtHome could reject its existing contracts with the cable companies as early as 3 a.m. EST Saturday, when their contracts expire.

Carlson gave ExciteAtHome the leeway to end the contracts after concluding they had become "clearly burdensome" to the company.
Under the contracts, ExciteAtHome executives said the company was losing up to $6 million per week.

so fricking glad i got this installed on tuesday. bastards.

3:33 PM|it's time for the Friday Five!...

1. What did you have for dinner last night?
Nathan's Hot Dog, 10 Nathan's French Fries, Ketchup (on the hotdog... not just sucked outta the packet) and a Chai Tea

2. Do you ever get up for a midnight snack?
nope. too lazy. of course if i am ALREADY up at midnight and hungry, yeah. then i will have one.

3. What's your favorite dessert?
Chocolate Chip Mint Ice Cream!!!

4. Tell us something about you that would surprise us.
surprise you? hmmmm... once i actually HAD a job... in philly... and i had to dress up like betsy ross while i drove a horse drawn carriage

5. How do you plan to spend your weekend?
hmmmm... a little guinness this evening at the pub down the street (great guinness toast)
saturday. spend some time with the grass skirt boy
sunday. have a house warming party to go to

11:00 AM|ok.. i think things are getting sorted out. a pain in my buttocks though - this whole "hey, i gotta transfer stuff over"

i have so many fricking images.

8:50 AM|

I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping
While my guitar gently weeps
Look at you all . . .
Still my guitar gently weeps.

2:20 AM|crikey. i lost a few flash files. **grumble**

1:13 AM|so my webdive section is old too. *sigh*... dammit. see, while i was unbillable and working on nothing at digitas in april/may/june... well, i redesigned most of the site at work. i uploaded files to the site... and failed to download them onto my mac at home... dammit. well, i suppose i have the time to work on this now... BUT i really don't like knowing that images have been lost.

12:43 AM|a little fricking late posting this message from global hosting's CEO.... damn them.

12:07 AM|mother of god. does everything have to be an ordeal with me!?

i am tired, but i will attempt a half-assed rant about what has transpired.

global hosting my fricking WONDERFUL (dripping with sarcasm) hosting service... failed to mention to me that they were "migrating" everyone's websites. so around 9pm i go to my site and it's GONE... GONE... yes. goooooooooone.

they scrapped everything. yeah i had most of my files backed up but a number of them weren't. they were on the server. and IF I HAD KNOWN that this was going on, well, i would have made a mad dash to back it all up. but no. i have lost a few images forever. and yep, guess what kids... they were from my portfolio. *sigh*

bastards. so thinking of switching my host. because they haven't gotten back to me, there's no one at the support desk answering calls. they are supposed to be there to answer emails too... but have i heard from them? NO!. bastards.

i have to give a hearty thank you shout out to mike at akacooties for helping to drag old files off of my old site (archive.org had most of them.)

so if anyone is planning on looking at my ireland stuff, it's old, i have to update the files and such. right now it's the elder hideous html pages. *sigh*

on the bright side of the day... i LOST 3.8 pounds!!!! wooooooo

10:13 AM|lisa lampanelli!! is on the cover of Steppin' Out magazine... here's an article with her and her views on the whole afghani crisis thang...

remember folks... she's an insult comic (she is great, i studied with her for a few months last year... still pretty much have only mastered how to insult myself though)

PS...if you are in NYC... she is at Caroline's tonight at 7:30pm

5:18 PM|news has a murder suicide in wall twp (where i grew up). ex boyfriend is a cop on the tv. man i don't like this. first a couple of weeks ago with that kidnapping in spring lake nj, and now this. stinkin' psychos. luckily i don't think i know any of the people involved today.

(and yes. i have a few ex-boyfriends)

12:34 PM|so i just got back from the NJ JobExpo. *sigh* i wish i was a psychiatrist - i would stand outside that vortex of depression and hand out my card.

when i am upset (depressed, angry or otherwise...) i begin cracking jokes. (me?!) i'd been around the mill a few times at the expo and there was nothing. piddly crap. i wound up saying to some guy "oh what the hell, just take it."...

the newschannel4 guys were taking video of the line (i got in with the first 100 people. there were a hell of a lot more (thousands actually) and i handed them my résumé and said "please for the love of god pass this on"

L'oreal was there and i asked if they had designer positions."NO." so i asked if i could apply to be a product tester since they can't use animals... they sneered. i scuttled off.

the asbury park press was there (my old hometown newspaper) they said they HAD been looking for cartoonists. NOOOOO!!! operative word being "HAD" so i handed them my résumé and they ooohed and ahhhh'd at my postcard-y thang. good. so they are passing that on.

other than that there were scraps. fricking Chem Lawn had a booth. and call me snotty but hey, landscaping in the dead of winter?!

well i am off to browse monster and hotjobs. and watch "my stories" and oprah. i am tired.

12:24 PM|"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money." – Joe Weinstein

6:36 AM|I'M UP!! I'M UP!!!... no... really i'm awake. *sigh* flannel sheets.... mmmmm.... make me feel like toasty warm baked potato.... mmmmmm...potatoes......potatoey goodnesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssI'M AWAKE!!! OK I'M AWAKE *groan* (shuffling off to shower)

11:42 PM|all Hell is breaking loose. the NY Catholic school teachers have just voted to go on strike.

(this is the word of the Lord)




*great... porn and blasphemy. you can contact me in the future at:

Erin P. Bennett
Suite# 5273
7th Circle
Hades 10666

10:48 PM|*** warning!!!! *** the link in this post contains disturbing genitalia images. don't click if you don't want to and ESPECIALLY don't click if you are at work. i do not condone this. this is ill. i taste metal. i feel faint. i would have ignored it, except it's like a bad accident and i was hypnotized and traumatized. yes. this is my disclaimer.


i feel bad for their organs. much like one feels bad when they see a dog on the street whose owner has dressed them in humiliating sweaters with matching boots.... except i don't clench my thighs together in pain when i see the dogs. why? just "WHY?"

(see, a friend and i were talking about body piercings and i happened upon the bmezine was in NO way looking for porn)

this is worse. i feel woozy.


(with my luck, potential employers will finally visit my site today and i have this crap up here)


i am going to curl up in the dusty corner of my apartment and rock back and forth in the fetal position until 6am and then go to the jobfair.

6:06 PM|okay kids. hot off the presses!

i will be doing a show on wednesday January 23rd at Stand Up NY... it's a $6 cover, 2 drink minimum.

and it's at 6:30pm... which shouldn't be a problem for all my unemployed homies out there... (cripes. did i just use the word "homies"? i humbly apologize.) you're used to getting liquored up before 7pm, right?

stand up ny is at 78th and broadway in nyc... and i WILL be reminding all y'all over the next month and a half...

5:21 PM|wooooo!!! tomorrow will be another day standing in a long line!!!!

1:39 PM|the angels in the heavens above are trumpeting a sweet song of glee!!!!

oh sweet sweet sweet cable modem where have you been all my life?!!?!? oh fast as lightning.... woo!! i can talk on the phone as i play games and look for porn lickety split!!! (wait... maybe lickety split isn't the best way to put that! you know what i meant!!!)


wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! i am on the rollercoaster of cable-y goodness!~!! emotional high for the day!!!!!!! happy happy!!!!

(aside: and the addiction grows stronger as our heroine gets a taste of the speed and power set before her)

12:21 PM|CANCER (June 21-July 22): To be happy at your job today, you need a sense of purpose. Getting trapped in the motions quickly seems pointless. Use a sense of futility to search yourself for what's important and motivating for you.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!... what purpose? hahahahaha! ok. i am done reading horoscopes

8:56 AM|when i heard President Bush recently saying:

"If they fund a terrorist, they're a terrorist. If they house terrorists, they're terrorists.''

WHY did i picture Jeff Foxworthy and his "You might be a redneck..." repetoire?

8:33 AM|THIS is the stuff that they are throwing me off of monster.com when i search with the keyword "designer":

US-NJ-Central-Sheet Metal Designer • Jersey City, New Jersey prefabricated modular steel jail cell manufacturer has an immediate opening for an experienced sheet metal designer.

8:18 PM|oh my god. this guy is BRILLIANT!!! THIS is so accurate... except scratch the part about the strip club, and exchange MCI for TV Guide. give him a uterus, and you have my life... especially THINKING about volunteering!!!

[thanks to keith for bringing my attention to this work of art...]



also:
secret santa anyone?

11:30 AM|so i have sent my résumés out of state (sending them to NY doesn't count) for the first time during this unemployment debacle.

sent one off to the U.S. Olympic Committee in Colorado - they're looking for a graphic designer.... hell, i can crash at my friend Jenn's house maybe... i can bring my skiis

and then i sent one over to the philadelphia museum of art - they are looking for a web designer... and so i turned on the charm about digging their museum and telling them that i am thinking about moving back to philly. yeah, if they hire me, i would think about moving back there.

i mean, i would much rather have a job in nyc. but hell, there's nothing really keeping me here now except my lease (& friends, of course)... til april... and i think that my landlord is okay with things if i break the lease anyway....

dammit. i really don't want to move right now.

WHERE ARE ALL THE FRICKING JOBS!??!?!?!?!?!?

i am thinking (HOPING) that once january rolls around that the budgets at places willl open up and hiring will commence

•••••
yay! on the upside of the day... i just got my check for that freelance gig i did a couple of weeks ago!!!! whhheeeee!!! now i can pay for my Claritin-D!!!!

oh heavenly Claritin-D... how my nose has missed thee

($187 for 60 pills. i could only afford 15. *sniffle* oh how i long for the days of milk and honey when prescription plans were bountiful and little bits of miracle drugs were always on-hand)

9:14 AM|okay... um... as i look at my list of referrers, i notice that i am being referred by sites that are into BSDM or BDSM or whatever the fricking "tie me up tie me down" abbreviation is. WHY!? i have not yapped about having collars or things tied to bedposts or whatever goes on. and now i am being linked to people that say they "are going to Paddles tonight and am collared" --- WHAT?!

never even HEARD of Paddles, and apparently it's in NYC.

although maybe the people thereare into serious relationships. i don't know.... hell, i suppose they are if they go through the hassle of being fitted for a... a.... WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!?!



[apparently every Friday, the first 50 women receive a free paddle! well... that's good to know.

Paddles spanking contest: participate or watch both boys' and girls' cheeks turn bright red. The "Reddest" cheeks win an unbreakable "Paddles" souvenir wooden paddle

mother of god. can't people just slap the hell out of each other's asses in the warmth and privacy of their own homes anymore without corrupting it and making it into some sort of contest?!?!]

and is THIS really BDSM? what? Bunny Domination Sado Masichism? or whatever...

4:51 PM|okay... so have you ever been on, say, Chapter 6 of the "Big Book of Dating", and you look over and the person you've been seeing for a couple of months is still perusing the Table of Contents?

(damned speed reading courses. maybe i have time to read another book while this one gets Hooked on Phonics)

•••••••••

hey all!!! so hung out at gladys' comedy club last night with tom... good laughs (it's in the back room of hamburger harry's on 45th and broadway)

taped last night, and watched today, mike from dutch oven on Showtime at the Apollo... he won and will be on again next week... funny! (they said on the website that his name is William "Bill" Ford, but it's mike... click on it and watch the video...