8:39 AM|they are talking on foxnews right now telling people to avoid brightly lit gas stations. eh... what? so they can be killed by some jackass at close range?

i have another "Anti-Sniper Idea"

First... don't forget to practice your silly, wiggly walk...

Second... the gas stations should install swirling disco-esque lighting. either colored or the flickering black lights... you can still see where you are going, but the sniper will be all like, "Huh? What the? Where'd they go? Aw... Hell... I'm outta here!"

8:34 AM|dreamt i was dodging sniper bullets while walking home from the foodstore... on the way home i went a backway i never knew about... it was raining.... and i could see everyone hanging from their balconies trying to watch a bally's health club building being demolished... then i turned a corner and had to go under an overpass... that's when i saw a bunch of dead black bears --- in jersey city!

weird dream. very odd. think i am coming down with a cold. that's when i have wacky dreams.

7:02 PM|okay, i left work at 4:40pm... usually the commute to my apartment FROM the office is 25 minutes.

tonight - because PEOPLE CANNOT EFFING DRIVE IN THE RAIN!!! - it took me from 4:40pm until 6:50pm...

did the math? right! TWO HOURS and TEN MINUTES.

i passed 17 cars in various positions of distress. i was passed by 4 state troopers at different intervals. i was passed on the right by 8 cars cutting me off at different points on the way into the toll booth...

i flipped the bird and about seventy other hand gestures about 548 times between saddle brook and jersey city.

i am not going to my mom's tonight. i am heading up in the morning... so that if it is still inclement and the drivers are still incompetent, they will be able to see said gestures clearly!

4:31 PM|ugh. rotten outside. my brake light in the middle of my rear window is out - i found this out on the way in this morning when a car drove up alongside of me and started honking and this old man was flailing his arms - not in a violent gesture sort of way (which it took me a second to realize...thankfully...otherwise he would have been getting a nice dose of my middle finger)... anyway - he was flailing. i had no idea what he meant. i don't have power windows, so i had no idea what he was yelling.

then the thoughts in my head went loopy:

"oh god. is my tire falling off?"
"is my muffler hanging by a thread?"
"what the hell could it be? my car is a 99 cavelier. what?"

so then i move to the right lane and the car comes up to me again. i roll down the window in the torrential downpour... passenger (old lady) rolls her window down and yells so i can hear her, "YOU'RE BRAKE LIGHT IS OUT!"

eh. okay. i have 2 others on the tail of my car. thanks. no. really. thanks. but it's effing raining out. and i don't need to be freaked out by two octagenerians policing the turnpike.

so... i will be hightailing it down to manasquan tonight in this slop... sans brakelight.

going down since it's mom's b-day on monday so i figure i'll be taking her out and feeding her prime rib or something. have to stop by my apartment in JC and take my laundry to the little spanish lady down the street and slap a few things in a weekend bag. probably gonna grab a bucket of coffee from dunkin' donuts.... haven't had any coffee today - not on purpose - don't need to fall asleep on the parkway.

7:26 AM|and can someone tell me WHY i like this song?

“I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie / to the hip hip hop, a you don’t stop / the rock it to the bang bang boogie / say up jumped the boogie / to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat.”

7:23 AM|not to make fun.... but all those folks in maryland and virginia should eff the sniper up by instituting monty python's silly walks.

just start walking wacky, dipping, weaving, walking fast, swerving, etc. it's fun to do and the sniper probably won't be able to get a clear shot.

oh yeah... and another thing they should do is.... be careful, for gawd's sake!

7:17 AM|really nasty outside. we get to wear jeans to work today if we give a $5 check to the Susan Komen Foundation.

so it's been raining for 24 hours now. eh... i would have been walking in this... more power to the people out in this slop.

5:52 PM|For those of you who need to reject someone in a romantic way, please refer to these numbers. Enjoy.(i, on the otherhand, will be giving my real number)


Boston: 617-658-7083
New York City: 212-479-7990
Los Angeles: 310-217-7638
San Francisco: 415-356-9833
Atlanta: 770-908-7383
Charlotte: 704-559-4169
Chicago: 773-509-5096
Cleveland: 216-556-0051
Denver: 303-575-1696
Las Vegas: 702-387-2619
Miami: 305-460-3285
Seattle: 206-781-3928
Washington, DC: 202-452-7468
England: 09061 100 596
Dublin, Ireland: (+353) (01) 2194862

7:19 AM|okay... between sneezes i will attempt to explain the stupidity of people that need me to design things.

disclaimer: i love my company and the people i work with.

that said, i was swamped yesterday. they are having an RVP meeting at a dude ranch starting today through next tuesday in colorado. no i am not going.

i had to design a CD insert for a customized cd with the RVP's favourite songs. keen. all was swell. photoshop was starting to get a little loopy on me though. going really slow, etc.

have i mentioned i am web girl and haven't really had to focus on print in a while?

okay - so then i had to design a 36"x24" poster.... eh... photoshop was freaking on me.

while i was futzing wuth that, the CEO of the company needs a cover and background for his powerpoint presentation. not what i usually do, but, hell, i only had the cd insert, the poster and about 17 emails to create. powerpoint backgrounds? no problem.

okay. dude ranch theme. have to have it say "Saddle Up!"

and our logo.

with an image of a cowboy on horseback, chasing cows (or herding cattle to those in the know - but it was quoted to me as "Chasing Cows")

i did it.

"looks great! could you make a border collie fade in magically and have him bark?"

eh. sure, CEO. sure.

done.

"wow! looks great! could you have the cows moo?"

eh. okay. done.

"perfect! except.... could the horse whinny?"

yes. done.

"excellent! could you turn the picture around so we can see their faces?"

eh. no. wish i could, but there's only one side to the image, it doesn't flip around

"oh. (disappointment in voice) okay. could you make the collie brown and white - actually it's called liver and white! (excitement in voice)"

ah... gee... um.... HEY! i have a liver and white dalamation, it's a great color (in my head i am hoping to steer him clear of this idea)... except, there's so much brown in this image, you don't want to lose the beauty of the border collie, the black and white contrasts the brown wonderfully, don't you think?"

"hmmmmm... true! okay... leave him black and white! can he run after the cows?"

no.

(at this point other people are listening to the conversation - since i am no longer in an office)

"okay... last request. can you make a baseball hat with our logo and have the horse wearing it as it's whinnying? and make another slide exactly alike except have it say 'Move 'em out!' and lose the cows, the dog and the hat but keep the horse whinnying and have the cowboy on the ground?"

(people around the office stopped. a hush fell over the land. they were waiting to see if i was about to tear his head off.)

okay. no problem.

(later, i had to ask people if i had said "are you out of your effing mind?" out loud., apparently i only voiced that in my head)

yep. design whore. 'tis i.

6:54 AM|have you ever been roused from sleep by sneezing 10 times in a row (allergies)

i swear i started "Sleep Sneezing"

ugh. time to down about 3 Clarinex.

10:55 PM|just walked in from work. long assed day.

a LOT on my plate there. got 98% of it done.

too tired to yap.

9:03 PM|once again.... i started ww tonight. this time a different meeting and totally different town. also, my friend from work just started the plan.

speaking of work.... was informed today that next wednesday 4 of us are being treated to a manicure and a massage....followed by some cocktails.... keen! they asked what type of masseuse i wanted.... don't care... as long as they are good... so i am gonna be man-handled next week. only had a male masseuse one other time. and that was fine.

major allergies right now. gonna sit on the couch and rest my nose :)

10:49 PM|heh! i was notified today by blogtree that i've "had a girl!".... i checked, come to find out a really cool chick that i worked with at the dismal hell i like to call Xceed has a blog. nary did i know....

go take a gander and say a big warm "Hullo!" to irene... of "What the Hell?"

(p.s. - she also was part of webdive 2000)

8:44 PM|today was actually really swell at work. i mean the noise has subsided a bit, and i feel i am now the chatty one there. see i probably should be thrown into an office if only to keep me from yapping to others now!

ate too much crap for din-din. that's the last time. tomorrow is weight watchers. going with a girl from work.
there are a few others that are on it as well, so it'll be good... a group thing!

what else? kicking ass on the email headers at work... if i do say so myself!

gonna go clean my kitchen.

7:26 AM|okay. i just woke up. no time for the treadmill. will have a yogurt and pray that i get to work on time.

at least my apartment is semi-straightened. feel a little less chaotic

11:45 PM|okay. so after cleaning my apartment (more like organizing it 84%) and after getting a kick in the seat of my pants from quinn, i pulled out my treadmill and am hoping that i will hop on it tomorrow morning.

6:49 PM|oh for the love of god. said person in IM post earlier.... well, i'd blocked her. now she's changed her screenname and is still IMing. okay - while that's nice and flattering, it's creeping the fuck out of me. sad thing is.... she's only 13. pleeeeeeeeease stop IMing me.

6:29 PM|

W  tampa bay 20 v. atlanta 6
L   buffalo 31 v. oakland 49
W  ny giants 21 v. dallas 17
W  washington 31 v. tennessee 14
W  indianapolis 28 v. cincinnati 6
L   new england 13 v. miami 26
W  new orleans 32 v. pittsburgh 29
L   carolina 13 v. arizona 16
L   ny jets 25 v. kansas city 29
W  denver 26 v. san diego 9
W  san francisco 37 v. st. louis 13
L   philadelphia 18 v. jacksonville 28
cleveland v. baltimore

green bay v. chicago
tie breaker: 32

12:58 PM|damn. thanks to michael, i am now addicted to googlefighting

my fights:

dog v cat (cat won)
north v south (north won)
Doh! v Yabba Dabba Doo! (Doh! won)
River Phoenix v Joaquin Phoenix (River won that one)

11:13 AM|sweet lord! there was no child screaming this morning or running above my head!!!!!! i actually slept til 10:40!!!!! huzzah! maybe they read my site with the "Mommie Dearest Parenting Tips"...

one thing that's disturbing is the fact that i have a renegade out there reading my website and IMing folks on my Jackasses & Stalkers list.... while that's very sweet and all, if you are going to do that, don't use my screenname or my real name, thanks. really poor showing.

as far as IMing me... while i enjoy a fine IM chat as much as the other person, when you first see me sign on, chill. i am checking my email. don't IM me within the first 3 seconds of me logging on.... believe me, i know i have been guilty of it in the past.... but it's a tad on the annoying side...

and if i don't answer back right away, don't cop an attitude and think i am ignoring you or mad. that's the sure-fire way to get you on my blocked list.

sorry to sound so grumpy, but i will not be guilted by someone who wants to transfer blame and all that good stuff onto me. i will not be guilted into IMing just because someone is bored or lonely or says that i think they are a screw-up when i really don't know them at all and never said that....

personwhoIM'd: "r u mad at me?"

GigglechickHA: "was on phone."

personwhoIM'd: what do u think of that guy posting that


GigglechickHA: "i appreciate you IMing him and sticking up for me but it was a year ago and for my name to be brought up to that crew again is not really keen with me. as far as him posting your IM transcript - i think that it's fine. i would do the same thing. you IMd him out of the blue. thanks. not trying to be a jerk, but i am a little tikked that you used my name in your IM to that guy."

personwhoIM'd: "GOSH IM SORRY OKAY, ITS NOT LIKE I ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING RIGHT ANYWAY..JUST A BIG SCREW UP....I SCREWED UP, ITS MY FAULT! THERE!"

eh.... ooooooook then. lighten up. all i was saying was effing don't IM people with MY name while cursing at them.