2 parody songs and a few jokes sent to me via p45.net
Bush Rewrites 'Imagine'
Imagine there's no Hussein
It's easy if you try
One well placed smart bomb
And kiss Saddam goodbye
Imagine all of Iraq
Owned by the USA
Imagine there's more oil
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to stop production
And no more OPEC, too
Imagine all our people
Driving SUVs
You...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And we'll all be Republicans
Imagine no concessions
I wonder if we can
No need to pay for oil
We'll take Kuwait and Oman
Imagine all our people
Filling up for free
You...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And we'll all be Republicans
Talking of strange songs, how about a Techie Carol. A Carol? But it's not Christmas, we hear you say. Nah, in the Geek Orthodox tradition, it's still the season...
"How Come There Is No Manual?"
(to the tune of "Oh Come, Oh Come, Emmanuel")
How come, how come there is no manual?
This software is a private little hell
The installation wizard won't run
It crashes every time before it's done
No choice! No choice!
No manual
I'm never gonna get it working well
I really could have used a manual
To troubleshoot that missing DLL
At least I'd like a way to restore
My system to the way it was before
Dismay! Dismay!
I've wasted half a day
I'd love to make those rotten b*stards pay
and now for the jokes...
This penguin walks into a pub and says to the barman: "Have you seen my dad?"
The barman says: "Dunno pal. What does he look like?"
Waiter, I'm in a hurry, will my pancake be long?
No sir, it'll be flat and round!
What goes stiff after a few strokes?
Princess Margaret!
There's this Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman in a pub. The Englishman says "Guess what. My name's George, and I was born on St George's day."
The Scotsman says "Wow! That's incredible, because my name's Andrew and I was born on St Andrew's day."
They turn to the Irish lad and say "Is your name Patrick?" He replies "Nah, it's Pancake."
Oh feck that for a bunch of cowboys - let's just go with the same age-old formula: "There's an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman in a pub. The Englishman says something very normal, the Scotsman says something very mean and then the Irishman says something very stupid."
