heh. the daily giggle. 2 of them in one post. enjoy.
A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, "I almost had
an affair with a woman."
The priest asks, "What do you mean, almost?"
"Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."
The priest replies, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in.
You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and
put $50 in the poor box."
The man leaves confessional, says his prayers, and then walks over to
the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.
The priest quickly runs over to him and says, "I saw that. You didn't
put any money in the poor box!"
"Well, Father, I rubbed up against it and you said it was the same as
Putting it in."
...and now for the BLONDE JOKE...
A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want
you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure
for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead
that 3rd day."
"From hunger, you mean?"
"No, from skipping.”
