so after work tonight i am heading down the shore - my marketing department is having a brainstorming session all day tomorrow down in manasquan... so i won't be around a computer til monday... well, except for my web/text messaging stuff on my cell phone...
50 Reasons Why You Might Be From the Jersey Shore... (with my commentary on these items)
(i think a benny who's a jersey shore local wannabe wrote this)
1. You don't understand why there aren't more 24-hour diners elsewhere in the country. (yeah, what the hell? i worked at Pat's Diner when i was 21... the 11pm til 7am shift - dealing with bimbos and guidos in hte dead of night)
2. You know what a Wawa is, and know the location of at least 15 of them. (yes. but i am a former 7-11 employee...)
3. You think a mountain is that big freakin' hill in Atlantic Highlands. (heh. pretty much - except i did have a kick ass snowsledding hill that i lived on)
4. You know Asbury Park is no longer the Mecca of East Coast resort towns. (ah, but i do remember the 102.7 WNEW concerts that i skipped school for - back in the day)
5. Even though there's a new Walmart in your town, you still go to the Englishtown Auction for cheap stuff. (it's all about Collingswood auction)
6. You can name all the flavors of salt water taffy. (i can eat most flavours - not crazy about the root beer ones)
7. Your car is covered with yellow-green dust in April and May. (yes - what the hell kind of pollen IS that?)
8. You buy Shop-Rite brand food at Shop-Rite. (eh, not so much)
9. You can smell and know when it's low tide. (hell yeah!)
10. The Jets/Giants game has started fights at your school and/or local bar. (at least a few growls)
11. There are no self serve gas stations and you like it that freaking' way... "yous gotta problem wit dat?" (what's with the effing north jersey accent in this thing that's supposed to be about the jersey shore?!)
12. You've had sex on the beach, and I'm not talking about the beverage. (eh... yes)
13. You know how to successfully handle a traffic circle. (i think it is a survival of the fittest and weeds out the bennys from the locals)
14. You know what skeeball is and you can get three 50's in a row. (it's in my blood)
15. You think the Olive Garden is crap and should have never opened any restaurants in New Jersey. (thank you. yes)
16. You've run out of money on the Parkway. (no.)
17. You're Italian. (fuck no - no offense)
18. You know where to get the best bagel. (there are a few places)
19. Donald Trump is mentioned at least daily in your local paper. (no, he's so over)
20. You say "water" weird. (no i don't... everyone else says it strange)
21. Even your school made good Italian subs. (if i can remember back that far)
22. You've lived through hurricanes, nor'easters and fires, but have never, seen a tornado, earthquake, tsunami or volcano. (no fires. hurricanes and nor'easters, they're a piece of cake)
23. You can't believe MTV went to Seaside Heights. (true)
24. You know that ACME is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros. creation. (main street and rt. 71 in manasquan)
25. You only go to New York City for day trips.
26. You know what a "jug handle" is. (yepper)
27. You have mandatory recycling. Enforced by law. (of course)
28. You've eaten a pork roll and cheese on a hard roll...and like it. (was weaned on them)
29. You go to at least one parade at the boardwalk each year. (no, no parades)
30. You've pondered, "Maybe basketball would be more popular in New Jersey if the Nets didn't blow," (i've never wasted time pondering about the nets)
31. You can go bowling at 1:30 A.M. (with automatic scoring)! (hi-way 35 lanes - they changed the name though)
32. In high school, you worked at a Friendly's. (no, i worked at Mike's at the Inlet and then Carlson's Corner)
33. Route 18 doesn't freak you out at night. (a little... but not as much as some)
34. Because your town was founded before 1776, all the restaurants, taverns, and shops have "ye," "olde," and "colonial" in their names. (manasquan. no.)
35. You don't have to go to red lobster to get fresh seafood. (union landing)
36. You once said, "It smells like New York in here,"
37. You've waited for the goddamn drawbridge for more than 20 damn minutes. (yeah, but you have to know the schedule... and the backroads - heh)
38. At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen. (who doesn't?)
39. There's a fruit and vegetable stand down the road. (atlantic farms)
40. "Anyone who makes bad pizza can go to hell" is your attitude. (gee-gees at 2am or pete and elda's is key)
41. You always use a minimum of 10 variations of the word "damn"while driving. (i've upgraded to the eff word)
42. You don't take any shit from anybody. Especially from someone from New York, because you live here for Christ's sake and just who the hell do they think they are anyway? Invading our damn beaches and bars, they're just here for the damn summer and they think they own the damn place (did you happen to read the memorial day weekend post?)
43. You've gone to the race track with twenty different daily double bets from twenty different people (well, no, usually the 20 different people are with me at monmouth park and i have my own daily doubles and trifectas)
44. You've spent St. Patrick's Day in Belmar. (no. who wrote this? the parade in belmar is two sundays prior to st. patrick's day)
45. You know that there are bakeries which are not part of a supermarket, but actual individual stores. (freedman's)
46. You've ordered a "hard roll with butter" for breakfast. (duh. yes.)
47. One time, a sea gull shit on your head. (it's good luck)
48. You've eaten at a Windmill, drunk off your ass, at am at least a dozen times. (no. never been drunk at the windmill... sober there usually - it's too close to Pat's why would i go there instead of the diner?)
49. You know what a "benny" is and can pick one out at the beach. (i can pick one out ANYWHERE)
50. You've planned a local trip around ensuring you pass at least one dunkin' donuts. (you really can't swing a dead cat without hitting one.)
