so friday night i got down the shore relatively late - so i called it an evening and stayed at home - watched the game...
saturday - had made plans with lara to go to the parker house... the idea was for me to get there between 8 and 9 and we'd head over. i get there and her 2 friends are there and one of their friends...
now don't get me wrong. lara's great. i am not dissing her at all.
but i had gone out, mom and i went to kohls and i had gotten a neat pair of capris, nice top and a funky pair of clunky heels. i felt great - there i was going to the parker house for the first time (now, mind you, the parker house is in spring lake/sea girt... it's a "yuppie-ish" type of place from what i've heard)
i was in yuppie mode. fine.
i get over to lara's and lara looked fine, but the 3 girls.... mother of gawd.
first.... bordering on anorexic skinny minis. okay - that i can deal with, i'm used to being around the skinny chicks.
second... skinny + bimbo outfits... seriously... like, black tube tops (with sleeves) and mini skirts so short they probably had to go for a brazilian wax...
eh... okay... feeling a little uncomfortable at that point - i mean, there were probably people that i know that would be at the bar... and not for nothing, i really didn't want to be associated with the kind of girls that would wear such items
third - here i am all ready - now waiting because it was like a stampede of hair and boobie catcher bras... two of them weren't done doing their fricking hair - and they had a ton of it...
fourth - i had to wait standing up because i didn't want to wrinkle nor did i want cat hair on the outfit...
fifth - who i had to wait with was 5'6" and telling me that she's so overweight blah blah blah - she's 130lbs. (fuck you.) telling me that she was on jenny craig and lost 10 pounds and wants to lose another 20... eh... so i "try to bond" with her by saying "ah, yeah i lost 26 lbs on weight watchers"
she says to me - and get this - "so, what, you have like another 50 pounds to go, right?"
(eh.... i hadn't even started drinking yet and i wanted to kill her... not a good combo - i mean, i KNOW that i am not anorexic... far from it... but 50 pounds i do not need to lose... eh... 30 maybe to feel more comfortable in my own sh=kin, but eff her!)
then another girl says "hmmmm... your feet are huge..." (i'm an effing 9.5/10 - yeah, they are on the bigger side - all the better to kick their ass with... harrumph)
anyway - the energy level is draining quickly from me...
sixth - the parker house closes at midnight...
seventh - there was talk of going to a different bar - like the headliner in belmar - that is NOT my scene - especially in capris with girls in tube tops...
eighth - ignorant "50-pounds-more-to-lose" girl says to me "i dated a millionaire and we were at a boxing match and james gandolfini kept checking me out" - eh... i later found out that said millionaire dumped her. good for him.
ninth - the hair and boob girls are almost ready - it's 9:38pm
tenth... i picked up my bag - held back tears (i was pmsing as well. that didn't help) and said to lara "i'm not feeling well. i'm gonna go home"
so i went home. watched the devils lose (on top of funny cide fricking losing on saturday) and read a book as a torrential downpour was happening outside.
i didn't go to the seafood festival on sunday either... it was mainly helping out around the house day....
ah... fun fun.
yep.
pretty much because i didn't trust any of the girls other than lara (who called me on sunday and i told her why i left) nor did i want to be lumped into a crowd of girls dressed like the kind of girls i scoff at and think "holy slutville"
that was my weekend.
