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just got home from coffee blue in belmar... if you live down here (the jersey shore) check it out on tuesday nights at 9pm... my friend pat emcees... he rocks...

so i was there with a fella... it was our 3rd date (shut up.) he reads the site (yes. you... *ahem*) anyway, the lovely thing about going to a comedy thang on a date is having the comic ask are you two married? dating? how many dates? 3 dates? you know what that means dude, you have to f*ck her... how much have you dropped on her so far, like a hunnerdenfifty? you know what that's called, right? a hooker. a whore.

lovely. i was blushing like hell, and to sort of try and offset the dude onstage, i start talking back -- i should know that this is not the best thing in the world to do if you want to hide your head in the sand... in fact, it sort of draws them to you... but i mixed that thought up with the "they can smell fear" sort of rule... --- so the rest of the evening, we were pretty much pointed out as the couple who have to f*ck...

lovely.

there was a weird/funny "poet" there tonight... check out his site alexander the poet

anyway... so i spoke with my buddy pat (photos of pat and rob & i in the morning - i have yet to install the fuji thing to upload images on my machine at home...) anyway - spoke to pat about getting up onstage and he says whenever i am ready i can have 15 minutes or so to work on stuff (god it's been way too long since getting onstage)... cool verrrry cool! the most i've done is 10 minutes and that was a bringer show where i had to bring at least 12 people... so, even though this is a teeny little coffee house, it's a stage and i have a few bits that i will feel comfortable doing... i think that i am gonna try for oct. 21, but don't quote me... actually, i think the world series might be going on that night, so scratch that... probably the beginning of november...

on the brighter side... my date didn't get up and leave in the middle of the show... like some people...

and here i am flanked by my friend rob and pat... mystery dateboy took the photo... no, for some reason i didn't subject him to the flashbulb...

i really like Ed...

waiting ever-so-patiently for the west wing to come on

so, the crack has expanded to the middle of my windshield... i just got back from getting the first estimate...

$326.42....

which isn't as much as i thought it would be! yay!

(i really should get the damned dent from last year's accident estimated as well)

so i went to another place to see how much a new windshield will be and they said...

$306.25

hoping that tuesday i can get this done (translation: hope work will cut me a check for this amount by tuesday) because i am pretty scared this will shatter.

*sigh* so, i usually am supposed to work from home on fridays... today i was told to come into the office... of course, this screwed up plans for this evening since i won't be home til late... too late for the date i had planned...

date has been postponed til tomorrow... which is good... i can get all kinds of gussied up instead of being a big wrinkled mess of clothing from sitting in traffic for 2 hours...

it's for the best, as i don't want to force the boy to stare at the flustered & haggard erin... not yet, anyway.

in a taste test, tigers found Roy to have more flavour than Siegfried

or, maybe the tiger was jealous that Roy received a birthday cake....

what's black, white and red all over?

roy and his white tiger

(it's early... bad jokes are on the house)

:)

had a swellegant time last night... i am still loopy on sushi... anyone - besides you, boy - ever have something called Spicy Tuna Don? (i recommend overpouring the soy sauce to the point of annoying the guy next to you when prepping it... :)

so, i am in the brainstorming stages of my halloween costume... the potato costume is going into retirement... this morning i thought of a kick ass thing to be... and thus begins my sewing and stuffing...

in the meantime, try a little stealth disco
[link courtesy of kymberlie who is back home from l'hospital]

of course, stealth disco was created by an agency who created these kick-ass ads...

air tran - shipping (i love this one.... sick)

air tran - fired

so, i am sitting here watching the yankees game and also flipping back to the football games... figures that the bears would beat oakland... for the first time i picked teams via the lines and not with my heart (i hate oakland because i was mugged and knifed by a thug in philly wearing an oakland jacket... thus began my hatred for the raiders) and i never go against new england... yet, this week i did... effing lines...

anyway... here're my picks for this week...

monday. in the office (oh, i was told on friday that i can only work from home 1 day a week - as opposed to the 2 day a week agreement. grand, isn't it? no.)

have a ton of stuff to do, have to concept the new holiday cards that we're going to email out at some point... and oh, they only gave me 4 days to figure out what we're going to do... and this time i have 5 versions (all different) that i have to create.

bloody hell.

anyway. that's my brief update... kinda bored (even though i am swamped...) and i am eating chili from the cafeteria downstairs (i may die at some point today.)

bye!

first off... quinn macdonald is back...

so is norm macdonald!!! yay!!! i loves me the norm! he's gonna be in a minute with stan hooper... looks funny...

well, i have to watch the game tonight to see who we're playing next...

(personally, i want the red sox to win.... just so they get their hopes up again and lose to us in a sweep... heh.)

come on red sox**... stop it with this curse for the love of god (not that i am rooting for you... but come on! i want the yankees to play the red sox next )

did anyone just see that collision between jackson and damon?!?

poor damon... (and it's few and far between that i feel bad for a red sox player)

oh, and now the stinkin' oakland fans are trash talking... classy. real classy. jackass oakland. (makes me not like the football team OR the baseball team)

** i only mean that in the "oh you poor bastards" sense of "come on red sox" - nothing more, it's not like i want them to win the world series... *scoff* like they'll get in!

awwwww... it's nice to see the red sox fans all pumped and having their hopes up and such... it's cute... isn't it?

get ready to be pummelled by the yankees, little soxiepoos...

allow the trash talk to commence...

so, just in time for the california recall election today, here're some lovely bits of clothing that you can purchase...

heard a great chant on the news last night...

"hey arnold, whaddya say,
how many women have ya' groped today?"

(that chant is grammy-worthy...)

oh wait... you sold the bambino, didn't you? looks like we could either thank you or we can whoop your little garciaparra-oh-i-have-to-futz-with-my-little-batting-gloves-every-time-i-step-up-to-the-plate arse(s)

think we'll choose the latter...

so i am tentatively scheduled for 5 - 7 minutes on october 21st at 8:30pm at coffee blue...

woo! bennett is back! (okay, so it's in a coffee house in belmar, nj, not at the comedy cellar or comic strip live anymore... but it's a stage, my friends... a stage...)

wondering if i should revive my old bits and use that night as the hanging the jersey in the rafters retirement night for them (they are my comfortable jokes.. i have used them and abused them...) -- or i think i may just go all out and perform new stuff (which may be the best bet - while the old stuff used to kill on a good night, i haven't done it in a year and a half, so what the hell, may as well reinvent my set....)

only thing is... there's probably gonna be a ballgame (world series) on that night... *sigh*... and they don't have a tee vee that gets actual television in that place...

comedy checklist
gotta work on my timing
gotta find my stopwatch
gotta find my little tape recorder
gotta get my nerve back...

in the meantime... if you'd like more info...

Click to subscribe to coffeebluecomedy

mother of pearl. you have to love when the IT dept loses the server that i had ALL of my work stored on...

($*(#@$(*(@#@#$%%%@#((#~~!!!_)($)(#*$(*#@(*&$*&*&*&#$#$$##$%^%&^#^$&^*#@!&$

eff.

i know this is a couple of days old, but that maryland governor's wife is insane... listen to her laugh...

all this was said at a domestic violence seminar...

(not that i like britney... but, come on, woman... THINK before opening your mouth)

oh yeah. so, i am going to miss cowboy mouth tonight and tomorrow night at irving plaza... the first time in 9 years that i have missed them when they've been in nyc.

bloody hell.

we're just toying with the red sox... much like the way a cat bats a mouse around playfully before killing it.

gotta love guys who don't have a good memory...

happy birthday shout out to john lennon!

man alive... it's 4 - 4 in the bottom of the 9th --- i want the cubs to win

just walked in from a long day pre-celebrating mom's birthday (which is tuesday)... road trip with mom... no one was thrown out of the car alive (or dead, for that matter...) went to new hope and lahaska pennsylvania and drove through lambertsville nj....

then i took her to dinner over towards this way... i am going to go watch the yankees game (i taped it earlier) - i heard the final score...

what was it again, my dear sox friends??? *ahem*

okay... so stepping away from baseball right now... watching a little football (at least i know players are gonna get knocked around in this game) and cleaning the house -- just got back from cleaning the inside of the gigglemobile...

heading out in a few hours to go see School of Rock! i loves me the jack black.

when i was a kid (between 6 and 12) i would tape the kentucky derby, preakness and belmont on audio cassette each year (*this was before vcr's, kids). i loved willie shoemaker... he was greatness.

t-minus 15 minutes til the game... let's see, last night, saw school of rock... i really liked it a lot! we got out of the movie and didn't realize the game was rained out (we're talking baseball, here)... found out once flipping around the channels did not produce a game...

in the meantime... leslie comes clean about her relationship with the red sux, erm... excuse me, i meant, sox.

or has my blog turned into Sporty McSportscenter over the past week or so?

*sigh*

don't worry, folks, once the yanks win the world series (yes, Boy, i am trash-talking again) i will go back to whining about other mundane items!

eh... what the eff were you swinging at soriano?

it's okay. so we lost... whatevah... the yanks are just trying to keep it interesting... just letting the sox catch up so there'll be a bigger storybook ending (not for the sox, mind you...)

whoa... this is one of the strangest, coolest things i've seen in a while...

of course, these messages are only available for 14 days... but it's pretty neat.

here's another...

so i just had my bowl of plain cornflakes in non fat milk for lunch... had the same for breakfast...

let's see if this cereal for breakfast and lunch thing for 2 weeks pans out with my body... (yeah yeah yeah, you can say "eh, hold on sister petrill, you might need more than 2 weeks on the cereal"...)

just trying this since my friend rob lost 5 pounds doing this... and eating a "normal" dinner...

because since moving in with mom, i've sorta gained a few pounds... whatever, i just want to test this thing out (seeing as they had hunan chicken and chicken marsala in the cafeteria today, it was kinda easy to opt for the corn flakes)

ya' gotta love having a teevee in the office...
ya' gotta love the yankees getting 3 runs in the 2nd inning...
ya' gotta love the kid i work with - brave soul - who is cheering for the sux
ya' gotta love hearing him curse at the teevee after yelling "Cowboy Up! for the 5th time

i JUST walked in the door from work. on the way home from saddle brook to brick (70 miles) i had the extra added pleasure of torrential downpours... oh, and drunks who'd been watching the games all day were on the road...

had to help edit the video for work... and do voiceovers...

i need sleep.

g'night

so, since i switched from blogger to movable type a year ago (actually it will be a year this sunday i think), i have posted 999 entries (including this one) *barring the 30 or so that i've changed my mind about and deleted or hidden*...

i don't know how many posts i created in blogger... but i started it on may 15, 2001

what i am getting at is i am 1 post shy of 1000 on MT ... will it be some odd sort of blather about nothing? will it be a post about the yankees going on to the series? will it be some whinefest? will it be a meme (most likely not)? will it be an employee email joke? will it be a photo? what will it be?

oh the pressure.

Actual footage from Siegfried and Roy's show at the Mirage
the night of Oct. 3, 2003 showing, in graphic detail, the
tiger attack that nearly killed magician Roy Horn.

This footage clearly refutes the claim made by both Siegfried
and Mirage owner Steve Wynn that the tiger was trying to "help"
Roy. It's obvious that the tiger's intent was to kill.

Not for the faint of heart...

so, here's what's doin', kids.... my friend melissa at work got an email from her friend bobby... i am posting this because i'd like to see one guy beat the road rules/real world punks... if you could post the same info on your site (or trackback to this one!), that'd be pretty cool to start a grassroots mtv asskicking campaign...

here it is... and try to show up at the place!!

I got a call from a promoter who was at my first guest bartending appearance at Tammany Hall. He asked if I would like to challenge the cast from MTV's Real World/Road Rules Challenge in a Happy Hour Promotion Party.

So I took the challenge!!!

The cast is hitting the pavement around Manhattan with flyers trying to promote this. I am sending out an email.

Bobby vs. MTV's Real World/Road Rules Cast.

When:Wednesday, October 22nd. Afterwork

Where: Calico Jack's Cantina
800 2nd Ave. (2nd Ave btwn 42nd & 43rd)
New York, NY 10017
Phone: (212) 557-4300

If I win I get to run my own party on Friday and/or Saturday night's on a regular basis at a spot in lower Manhattan where I get to pick the chose the music, drinks specials, atmosphere. Make it a nice spot with good people, good music, and a great bartender.

I know it's a Wednesday but even if you stop by for one drink it will help me out. Tell the door person that you are there to see me.

Let me know if you can make it and how many friends you could bring. If you could forward this along that would be awesome.

Talk and see you all soon

Hope all is well,
Bobby

yes. i'm still at work right now.
yes. i saw the game.
no. don't you dare say "cowboy up"

it's lovely to get 3 emails from exes who are red sox fans within 5 minutes of the game ending....

yes. i've dated red sox fans.
no. i'm not proud of that.

grrrrrrrrrrr

so, i am sleeping in the office tonight.

thank gawd for futons.

there's no way in hell that i can drive home and then drive back without hitting something made of concrete or metal

i am a pretzel this morning and the feeling in my legs is just coming back...

i love how they are playing a tums commercial in the middle of the 9th inning.

how apropos

it just won't end, will it?

i feel woozy

i don't feel so woozy anymore.... guess it's time that folks in boston put their coats on and head outside to walk the streets for a few hours in disbelief and heartbreak about now, huh

sorry, sox fans, but.....

1918, chowdaheads