okay.... so last week was the first time i went back onstage since january 11, 2002...
i used a bunch of my old jokes that i felt comfortable with - just so i could force myself back up... and i have since retired them because i used them everywhere (comic strip, gotham, comedy cellar, stand up ny, etc.) and they went over very well... in fact, below is one of the jokes that i used to tell and i resurrected it last tuesday because i wanted to give it a proper burial...
So as I was saying, I absolutely hate taking pills… no matter how small… even placing it on my tongue and I start to gag…Oh, but if I have some guy's 8 inch cock in the back of my throat for ten minutes, I don't even bat an eye…
Nope, you don't have hide it in puddin' to fool me into swallowing…You don't have to rub my throat to get that down…
___________
Thank you… my mother hates that joke…"Jeezuz Christ, you are a goddamned fucking potty mouth, what the hell am I supposed to tell my friends? That my daughter tells fucking cock jokes!? Bill Cosby wouldn't do that!"
okay... that's the only point in my entire act where i curse. i don't curse at all during the rest of my set... i use those words for shock value... it's not my favourite joke, it's one of those cheap laughs, but my timing is pretty good with that bit and i have had people cracking up and coming up to me after the shows telling me they loved that bit...
cut back to last week...
creepy 50 something year old guy in audience... then gets up to perform about 10 minutes after me...
he starts telling shitty jokes -- horrible impression of john wayne singing the national anthem -- "hey, kids, do you like 'green' jokes? what's green and skates? peggy phlegming"... that kind of crap...
anyway, he was only supposed to have 5 - 7 minutes...he went 10 with no regard for the light... no regard for the host telling him to get off the stage and apparently he didn't see the 5 customers walk out of the coffee house in disgust to his el crappo set
cut to this week... i was forwarded a list of emails of potential open mic'ers... not knowing the real names of them/only their email addys...
okay... so i've been trying to wrangle folks for tomorrow's mic...
this guy... Huddy... El Crappo... writes me today... remember, 50-something (maybe older), wearing a knock-off indiana jones hat, bad comic who tells recycled jokes and chasing people from the club...
he writes me:
Hi, Erin: Request you take my name off the e-mailing list. Thanking you in advance. Pete Huddy Incidentally? You are an attractive woman, and it is a total turn-off to a L-O-T of men to hear a pretty woman use the kind of crude & lewd language you use in your stand-up act. You strike me as having the potential to be JUST as funny WITHOUT all the profanity & graphic description. Seriously, Erin? Rewrite the gig SANS potty mouth? Good luck.... Pete
WHOA! what the eff!? okay... i felt i'd been slapped. i am all for criticism. i am all for critiquing... but i had to respond. and so i did.
INCIDENTALLY, i was never trying to TURN ANY MEN ON during my stand up act. INCIDENTALLY, that was the first i had been on stage in about 2 years. INCIDENTALLY, my set has gone over quite well throughout comedy clubs in NYC INCIDENTALLY, i was not the one who had 5 customers walk out on them because they told "Green" jokes that are as old as the hills INCIDENTALLY, i was not the one who attempted to do an impression of john wayne singing badly INCIDENTALLY, i was not the one who had to be forced off the stage because they don't understand the meaning of "TIME" or why the flashlight is being flickered INCIDENTALLY, i was not the one who went against the request of the host when he asked for sets that didn't mock the guests from phillyINCIDENTALLY, i didn't realize that YOUR email address was included in the note for the open mic i sent out.
thanks and GOOD LUCK with "comedy"
- erin patrice bennett.
no response yet. except from my buddy pat who wrote me after i forwarded the email to him...
Aw come on, LOTS of guys are TURNED OFF when a purty little thing like you gets fuckin' steamed.
~PP.S. The old retarded guy called you a potty mouth.
Neener, neener, nee-ner!
effing old bastard (huddy, not pat.)
