well, i think i am gonna head to bed now - and it's only 10pm... guess i am going to try to trek into work tomorrow
last week, i had handmade a tree ornament and slapped it in a box and set it on the rhb's doorstep (knowing full well, that he's usually not there til the weekend - and possibly not even on the weekend if there's things happening up north...)
hadn't heard from him in about a month and a half... but i gave him this small gift anyway with a simple message of "merry christmas, **** - erin" no xoxo's, no "please call me" crap... just a simple message.
you would think one would call me. thank me. whatever.
anyway - he emails me tonight. with the message:
"Hey how you doin? No time no talk. If I don't talk to you have a great
Christmas."
that's it. and i think about it... how uncouth (now, in the back of my head there's the thought "well, maybe he didn't get the package yet - maybe his brother brought it inside" -- but then why would he email me out of the blue?)
blah blah blah... no big deal. i gave it my all. i gave the gift as a little gesture of "hey, we're friends, here's a little handmade gift" -- no, no hearts or any stuff like that were on it.
actually, as i said, i began to think... i am worth so much more than that schlub. he's funny, sure... but in a mocking way - which is usually what i go for... yeah, he's got the red hair... but the more red heads i run into, the more trouble swarms about... yeah, he's bloody irish through and through... yeah, i suppose my heart made an appearance on my sleeve... and it's fun to feel like that once in a while... but, i don't need the heart flounced around and juggled like a toy - it's a 33 year old heart... sick of dropping the damned thing on the ground and having to pick it up and dust it off again -- sometimes, i have to use ammonia water to make it semi-squeaky clean again...
so...
1999 december - rhb strike 1
2003 may - rhb - strike 2
2003 june - rhb - foul ball
2003 august - rhb - foul ball
2003 december - rhb - strike 3...
that's it. inning over.
gotta find a new team to play against.
(let's see, i have heart/sleeve/ammonia/baseball analogies... this is a post chock full of unrequited goodness.)

