mornin'
so... t-minus 4 or so hours til the first fundraiser - yesterday they told us that the old bridge shillelaghs are taking care of everything so all i have to so is show up and smile... and drink...
it's sleeting out sort of and i have to drive to old bridge - which is fine, i just hope that folks don't say to themselves "heck, i don't wanna go out in this slop"
went out to famous dave's for ribs last night - so that was pretty good - then we headed over to peterson's to meet up with one of the girls that kerry works with...
the girl was trying to set kerry up with her realtor... kerry was not attracted to him at all (no. neither was i... he kept on dissing springsteen... ass.)
anyway - the band - the pat roddy band - started playing right near the booth we were at (personally, i prefer to be at the bar or standing... too clausterphobic in a booth but i was fine because it turned out i knew one of the guys in the band - and the band sounded great)
that said...
the friend of kerry's - who is like 25 or something - starts bitching about the band... and yelling really loud about how loud they are and how she wants to move
so there she went asking if we could all f*cking move into the big dining room where not a soul was sitting...
so there i am trapped with 3 people i don't know who are complete dorks (really.) then, the girl, who should be keeping a conversation going between my cousin and the realtor (if she was really fixed on setting them up) starts talking on her cell phone AT THE EFFING TABLE for..... get this.... TWENTY MINUTES.
20.
how bloody rude.
okay... so i am telling a story and she actually had the gall to say to me "would you keep it down?!"
oh. hell. no. she. didn't.
yes.
so i get up and head to the ladies' room.
calm down erin. calm down. she's a friend of kerry's...
okay so i come back. the girl (nikki. *rolling my eyes*) is outside waiting for her fiance - who is lost (apparently he lives a mile away and got lost... this is what i am dealing with here)...
at this point i go up to the bar to get a seltzer...
i come back and the fiance is there... with a plate of food in front of him
i sit down and i reach my hand out for a handshake and say - in a very friendly voice - "Hi, you must be Jeff! I'm Erin, kerry's cousin"
[insert vapid stare of a dairy cow here]
he looks at me like i have 3 heads and doesn't reach for my hand.
i put my hand down and "Nikki" starts saying "oh sorry! he just doesn't know who you are!" and starts laughing
THAT'S THE F*CKING POINT OF ME INTRODUCING MYSELF )#@!($&*)(!&*@!&#$*
so i say "well, i guess it's a perfect match for you both - since you are both quite rude" and i get up and head to the ladies' room
what the hell!?
meanwhile, the friend of nikki, Tim, was fine - i mean he was mocking her for being rude when she was on the phone.
anyway - i come back and i join in the conversation - but anytime i spoke the fat sow (yes. fat sow. nikki - seriously. 5'3" and 310. i know. that's not nice. but SHE PISSED ME OFF) anyway - fat sow and wet noodle (her fiance) start talking to each other or -- OR --- kissing...
ewww.
skank.
yeah - i am venting.
so kerry starts saying - "well, i want to leave soon"
at this point - all i wanted to do was go watch the damned band for a little bit - but NO... apparently, i have to jump when told to jump.
so... and yeah, i am pms-ing, but i am not chalking it up to just that... i get up head to the bar - tell kerry that i will be at the bar watching pat roddy and i wave to the table
of course, as soon as i get to the bar the dang band goes on break.
figures.
at least i got a chance to chat a little with chris who's in the band - then i see the table out in the distance getting up to go - tim comes up to me - says it was nice meeting me - i apologize for coming across as a bitch and he says "no, you didn't - in fact she's totally rude and i am glad you said something - i've been wanting to for years"
the springsteen-hating-realtor says goodbye, gives me a peck on the cheek and says nice meeting me...
FS & WN just wave. i just raised my eyebrows.
kerry and i leave and there's snow on the car. we do not discuss the evening at all.
the thing is... she's done that to my friends in the past without any cellphone interruptions or pushy broads who want to sit 100 yards away with their assinine mute fiance loser.
i digress.
how are y'all today?
on the upside - i went to 5 o'clock mass last night and Father Bausch began the homily off with:
A cabbie picks a nun up in his taxi - after a minute of idle chatter the cabbie starts chuckling."My son, what are you chuckling about?," says the nun.
"Oh, it's too embarrassing and might offend you"
"My dear, when you have lived as long as I have and are a nun, there's not much left to hear that's offensive", says the nun.
"Well, Sister, all my life I have had a fantasy about being kissed by a nun." says the cabbie.
"That can be arranged, my dear, as long as you are single and are a Catholic", says the nun.
the cabbie then says "Yes yes! I am single and I am a Catholic."
so the taxi pulls over and the nun gives the cabbie a peck on the cheek.
a few moments later the cabbie begins to cry...
"My dear! Whatever are you crying for!?" says the nun
"Sister! I am so sorry! I lied... I sinned! I am married and i am a Jew... please forgive me!" says the cabbie.
the nun speaks and says "That's okay - I'm on my way to a costume party and my name is Kevin"
this is why i love St. Martha's Church:)
(it was in reference to the water to wine story - not everything is as it appears... and all that...)
