ladies vs real women
(needed a stupid chuckle after my morning.)
Ladies -- If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
Real Women -- If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, the Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
Ladies -- Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half, and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Real Women -- Take a lime; mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have a headache, but who cares?
Ladies -- Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Real Women -- Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up anyway.
Ladies -- To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Real Women -- Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry about the potatoes growing arms and legs.
Ladies -- When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the inside of the cake.
Real Women -- Go to the bakery -- they'll even decorate it for you.
Ladies -- Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Real Women -- Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over crap, so I don't do it.
Ladies -- If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Real Women -- Go ask the very HOT neighbor guy to do it.
Ladies -- Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Real Women -- Leftover wine???
