okay - are you ready for what could very well be my longest post... ever?
grab a drink (preferrably a cocktail), use the restroom before reading, feed the baby if you have one... if you don't, feed the cat or dog...
are you ready?
come on in....
so... the CMB... that ain't happening my friends. not at all.
perhaps i am a bit premature in posting... i don't think so.... here's the skinny.
a little background first... CMB, met him at the cowboy mouth show on 3/27... he said he hoped he didn't step on my feet and we had a quip about the queer eye show...
didn't catch his name... he was wearing a titleist hat... then i posted on the cowboy mouth boards (see here) and he wrote on there how he was the guy in the titleist cap... ever since 3.29 we've been IMing and talking on the phone... i had asked him around 3.30 if he was married - because he asked me first the whole married, divorced, seperated or dating question. he said no to all counts.
good.
so we made plans to go golfing on april 24th... then the plans shifted to the yankees/red sox game that day - plans were set, jackass (me) bought 10 bloody tickets in different areas of the stadium...
i liked him. sure, i had only seen him that once - and photos that he sent... but we would talk for hours via IM and it seemed swell. when we talked on the phone an hour seemed to fly by like that.
last thursday - prior to the game - we were on the phone and he said that his father was diagnosed with prostate cancer that afternoon... that he would find out friday morning if his dad was going to go into surgery on that monday and he said "if that happens, i have to fly down to mississippi to be with him"... sure enough, he said his father was choosing surgery over radiation and he had to book his flight for friday afternoon.
what could i say? so i was out a couple hundred bucks, i couldn't say "so what? your dad has cancer... we had plans!"
anyway - rainy night in boston... he said his flight was delayed... okay... he kept calling me...6pm... 9pm... the flight got delayed even more... 11pm... at this point he says to me that the flight is supposed to leave at 4:40am... and that he doesn't know if he is going to get on there and if he's still around on saturday night "could we get together?"
by now, i had already made plans with gigglemom... and there's no way i was going to rush home to brick to drop her off and then drive back up to the city...
he said he would call me at 10am...
he didn't.
i know this is bloody long, isn't it? sorry. effing rant.
i didn't hear from him til sunday night - saying he was at his dad's (he tried IMing me at 12:30am sunday morning - i was asleep)
okay - no biggie, his dad has cancer -who was i to growl?
(do you see the footprints on my back yet?)
so monday night he calls me... he can't sleep... he's way tired... called at 10pm... then he tried to rest... called at 11pm... still awake... 12:30 calls me to hear my voice and help him sleep... 1:30am another call... finally he sleeps. meanwhile gigglemom's pissed because the phone woke her up.
a little more...
okay - so let me backtrack...
the thursday before (the day that his dad was diagnosed) i googled him.
at the top of the page it said "CMB and Christy True and the address... (yes. the last name is True. which is ironic, since he's anything but. at this point i don't care if i use his effing name...)
i sort of question it in my head and then poo-poo it because he said he wasn't and never had been married.
you see where this is headed now, don't you?
i pocket the info for later questioning - just in case.
tuesday i think the pissy knot in my stomach was tightening when i was talking with him... and i busted out the "refresh my memory, you've been married before or not?" question.
again... no.
*whew* okay...
so we started talking about meeting in connecticut on thursday night... he was leaving for home in memphis for a month before coming back to boston...
oh and - get this - monday or tuesday he asked me if i could help him design a pdf for a big presentation at work in june... i said yeah...what the hell, i had til june... no i never did the damned thing - fucking asshole.
(can you tell i am growling a little louder as we go on now?)
tuesday we im'd a bit less, same with wednesday - hell, i was swamped at work and so said he...
was supposed to talk to him wednesday night about getting together on thursday... at this point i really hadn't heard much from him... fine, not a problem, busy, you know... but that gut feeling kept making me do that google search... and that christy business kept sticking in my craw
wednesday night i wasn't feeling too keen anyway - and i text messaged him saying "gotta cancel tomorrow." - because i have a self-preservation thing in my head - and something wasn't setting well.
so thursday - yesterday... we were IMing sporatically... and we got on the subject of google.
okay - so i steered the conversation that way... at this point, i started having that "oh what the hell, you may as well" thought in my head...
i asked him if he ever googled himself
no was the reply...
this is where i seem a little odd (heh.)
i do the google on his name and pull up the page with the address and the Christy name...
and i take a screenshot of it and send it to him... with the IM saying:
"so who's Christy? hahaha!" - as if i am being goofy and stuff
(all the while praying he says "there's another 'CMB' true in mississippi that's not me")
at this point... he signed off of aol.
SIGNED THE EFF OFF WITHOUT AN EXPLANATION!
eh... that ain't good, folks.
2 hours later i get an IM saying:
"it's a long story. we will talk about it later"
hmmmmm... well, maybe there is a story - maybe he's not married...
so i gave a call to him around 9pm last night... he was out with his boss for his last night... girls giggling in the background and he goes outside - or to a quiet room - who the eff knows?
CMB: "heyyy there! how you doin'?"me: "fine... did i catch you at a bad time?"
CMB: " well, we're just hanging out"
me: "ah no problem... just was trying to get the scoop from you"
CMB: "let's talk later - it's the longest story i have to tell, longest story in the world"
me: "okay - talk to you later"
CMB: "ab-so-lutely! talk to you soon!"
talk to me soon? wtf!? hell no! 'talk to you soon' is the blow-off term... talk to me effing soon!
whatever... at this point, it's just NOT a good thing. dude's lied to me.
i see him online this morning... he doesn't IM... neither do i.
what i did do was email him... whatever... i wanted to seem jokey to lure him into a confrontation i suppose.
okay so correct me if i am wrong - but here are a few explanations that are running through my head to fill in your cryptic unrequited "long story - it's the longest story ever" commentfirst explanation:
you actually had another dog before abigail, and you called her christy... it was a great dane and you could dress her up in miniskirts and wigs and she'd ride shotgun while you drove around good ol' hernando mississippi... pretty soon the town would wave and say "Hello there CMB and Christy True!!!" and birds would chirp and the sun would shine and you and your great dane would scamper down pendulum drive.
no?
okay then...
second explanation:
you had another brother who was your roommate - his name was christopher - every so often he'd hop a plane to thailand - on one return trip, he actually came home as "Christy" and is now living her life as a woman... serving on the board of education in hernando while also travelling around the state giving auditorium presentations in high schools on the joys of "finding oneself"
no?third explanation:
you got married at age 15. you have 6 babies ranging from age 13 to age 2.she's home taking care of them as well as your dog...
no?
fourth explanation...my imagination is running dry. whateva.
no reply.
that was my last contact to him.... even if he wrote back "i was married and then we divorced 1 year ago" i don't think i would even want to speak to him again. and that sucks. it really fucking bloody well sucks. now in my head i am wondering "does his father really have cancer?" "did he even go to mississippi last weekend?"
but as i said before...
stupid mississippi boys who went to ole miss and one semester of johns hopkins, do NOT fuck with a smart jersey girl who knows her way around google.
