gigglechick.com

thanks to susan for reminding me (unfortunately, too late) to "rabbit, rabbit"

'Benny' or not, here they come

dang. she'd said she was going to plug gigglechick in this article. and she didn't use my middle name. at least she said i was a manasquan native instead of making me look like i was born and raised in Brick.

she kinda misquoted me in the article. she made me sound too nice. my growlfest to her about the bennys was much more scathing. and i didn't tell her the flip-flops matched the thongs. it was written as if i said THAT. and some folks COULD take it to mean the flip-flops WERE the thongs... while, in fact, the three girls had 3 pairs of gilded flip-flops... and the one girl was holding up a skanky pair of buttfloss underwear... so in case people are doing a google search in an attempt to hunt me down (erin bennett. brick. formerly manasquan) that's the real story... and i had a lot more quotes that were funnier. dammit.

she lives up in NYC.

frigging Benny Reporter.

:)

(ah, she was very nice on the phone. i won't give her any guff.... and the article was pretty good. i just didn't like the "thongs" being in the same breath aas "flip-flops" because the comedic timing was out of whack then)

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO READ ALL ENTRIES WHERE I MENTION "BENNYS", CLICK HERE.

choice entries include:

• saturday night cat fights
• wind whipping through my hair

and so the weekend begins with me on the 1:37pm out of ny penn station...

and at hazlet station we were delayed because a Benny punched a conductor. clocked him on his right eye...

soooooo... we had to wait for the cops.

listen, brawling drunken bennys, I have a frigging 4pm appointment for a haircut/colour in point pleasant... already I will be trying to drive with the hoards of you... I don't need the train delayed because you want to start Commuter Fight Club.

::: plunked in on my treO:::

since i have to hop in shower, figure out what i am wearing, slap some makeup on and get to my cousin's by 7pm.

went to salon du monde here and had a 10 step four layer facial. lookin' good, if i do say so myself.

and now am headed to the union landing for dinner with ker, and a few cocktails...... am staying over. more tomorrow.

will re-cap last night later. in the meantime, here's a couple of photos of kerry and i after 3 mojitos and a carafe of pinot (yep, that's the hair colour - only went for a touch-up and a cut on friday)

halloooooo! i just walked in the door from work! have been busy with the regular job and also whipping up some freelance stuff...

oh and yesterday - i went out to the golf headquarters, tested out about 6 drivers and wound up purchasing a King Cobra 460 SZ men's driver (with 10.5 degree loft)

see, apparently my "swing is too powerful" for a woman's driver... yep.

not a lot at the moment - will post maybe a little later about things... the fourth was so-so. didn't do anything really since i had to work and also am getting ready to go on vacation on friday thru monday (must remember to bring my cell charger.)

congrats to london!!!!

if new york was knocked out, I was rooting for london.. yay!!! I am hoping that the equestrian 3day gets some kickarse coverage!!

actually, I may even be a little happier than if nyc had it (well. maybe.) now i'll be 42 and probably able to afford to attend the games in 2012...

good show. pip pip and all that!

::: plunked in on my treO:::

well, apparently an aquarium exploded 2 floors above me at work... 100 gallons (so they say)

why am i telling you? well, my entire desk was drenched in fish, eh, water. yay.

as long as my Mac doesn't have guppies flipping around on the keyboard i am okay (the machines are fine.... just my images/files on my desk were hit somewhat hard....)

poor fish on the 16th floor. RIP.

go tell my boy SHUMPY to have a kick ass happy birthday!!!! (TELL HIM THAT GIGGLECHICK SENT YOU!!!)

just woke up. my thoughts are with all of those in london right now. this is insane. they're talking either IRA or al quaeda... not for nothing, but my money's on the latter. bastards.

(and on a selfish note... i'm a bit freaked out about starting on my commute this morning. i will be on the train and in the tunnel around 8:50am...)

what i don't get is the reports where they're saying "there's 2 dead and 90 casualties."

i thought "casualties" meant dead... ?? or does it mean "injured" over there? i am half asleep. need translator for english.

in work. had to pass through penn station where the guards and machine guns were out and about in full force. k9's out as well... (they are all usually there - but today more than normal...) and the "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE TRANSIT POLICE REQUEST THAT ALL PASSENGERS REMAIN VIGILANT AND REPORT ANY AND ALL SUSPICIOUS PACKAGES AND ACTIVITY" announcement that was repeated over and over.

i sat next to the Emergency Window on the train. just in case.

out on the street there were cops - complete with clipboards - checking each bus lined up on the sidewalk.

neil has posted a link to Nosemonkey. liveblogging about the attack.

(can i tell you that i was a bit freaked out when a double decker tour bus drove past me at 35th and 7th and i thought to myself "what if they blow THAT thing up? what if they have it in for double decker busses?")

am sitting on the 8:05pm train out of penn station... had to work late since I am off tomorrow and monday...

I am the first on the train...
see, I was standing near the track1/2 gate in the newer area and some guy - plain clothes - says to me "where's the long branch train?" and I said "it should be on track 1, they haven't posted it yet."

he then waves a key at me that's attached to his hip and says with a wink, "it's on track 2...." I had a blank look (am tired) then he said "so if you want a jump on the crowd... follow me"

hell yeah... not thinking about london or anything else except a comfy well-placed seat on the ride home.

we get down to the bowels of track 2 and the train is locked. he wields said key again... and I think to myself, hmmm he doesn't have his hat or coat. all he has is his backpack (which could've been construed as a "suspicious" one... had it not been attached to his shoulder)...

the key worked, I boarded, he boarded... and conductors raced towards us...

my new friend (name unknown) produced his credentials (i'm glad someone had the right mind to question him as opposed to me.) and we were on.

all's swell... the train is just pulling out of the station. I have a good seat. train is packed though.

::: plunked in on my treO:::

so here's the thing... i am going away to upstate ny til monday. yes i will most likely post sporadically - maybe. but if not, no worries, i am only in the catskills...

in the meantime, today has been loaded with f*ckwits not reading my site, yet, miraculously commenting on it as if they know what the eff they are talking about.

and i give them 3 strikes before they're banned. (2 strikes when they begin posting threats against me) --- so i do not suggest being a frigging jackass in my comments.

here's the tidbits that irk me:

1) read my frigging site and, oh, i dunno - don't just read one effing page of it before making a judgement and saying "i don't get it"

2) frigging spell things properly. i understand the OCCASIONAL error, but when you're commenting with "U R stoopit bich i aint get UR cite" - please, just move it along, there are other sites out there and i would suggest you start with effing dictionary.com

3) when you are attempting to berate me about my not wanting the US to help the UK, perhaps try to get a little sunshine and pull your head out of your ass - and realize I WANT THE U.S. TO HELP THE U.K. - idiot.

4) when you are in the middle of your asinine diatribe that is absolutely wrong, and you type out "The whole world doesn't evolve around you" --- well, um, not for nothing, but thank you? does that mean that i am the only one "evolving"?? or does that mean --- oh! wait! i think you meant REVOLVE... right? am i right!? of course i am. jackass. and i never said it ever revolved around me. but when you come to my website - well, this is MY little universe and yeah, it DOES "revolve" AND "evolve" around me.

5) go ahead, when you post in innappropriate areas "i think girls need to talk about their feelings here" and i suggest you get your own blog and that in turn causes you to email me stating that i am a "jerk"... oh. boo hoo. there. there's my sarcastic feelings right there.

6) for the love of all that is holy in the world... stop and think before you post. if you think that you are being a jackass, i highly recommend you move it along and go to someone else's site. if you hate my site, don't let the door hit you on the ass... there are a billion sites out there that you can peruse (that means "look at", kids.)

7) yes. comment on my site... but keep in mind, my personal website is NOT a democracy. it's mine. i rule it. i shell out the $40/month to maintain all the features/hosting/tracking etc on it... i don't need whiny 13 year olds, who have a desire to destroy the English language, bellowing on my site... so you have been forewarned that i reserve the right to ban anyone - ANYONE - who comes into my little living room of a blog here, and craps all over my sofa.

that said, ladies and gentlemen, THAT is my time.

enjoy your weekend.

gee, looks like "PEARL" (from the comments in this post) is in real "tight" with the "terrorists"... ooooooh so scarrrrrry... "pearl" knows my middle name... ooooooooh.... as does anyone who can frigging click on the portfolio. jackass.

In a message dated 7/8/2005 2:37:03 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, purl_neverwuz@yahoo.com, from IP address 71.133.66.182,writes:

Look Patrice, don't be fuckin stupid. Next time terrorists decide to blow anything up, I'll be sure to tell them to stop by in Manhattan...

anyway. just chalk this one up to some jackass nutjob... there's the email address for the lunatic if you want to write and also the IP address if you feel like banning.

enjoy!

okay... so i've verrrrry limited & sporadic cell/wireless/internet service up here in new kingston, ny... catskills, folks.

most of the weekend has been spent going through "the shakes" from withdrawal at not having service. i've been pretty much standing at the end of the driveway in this one spot... but haven't been able to stand there after dark because there's been a rattler spotted there and bear activity is at "extremely high"... sorry but not having bears & snakes attack me while I email and blog...

I have gotten over 250 emails from readers since fri morning....

here's a question for all y'all:

what the frig? all hell's breaking loose on my site? I seem to have people posting their own blog entries WITHIN my comments... while I appreciate the comments (and thank you - most of you- for getting my back) just, maybe for some folks, some should go to blogger.com and start their own free blog (and i'll link to it)...

*sigh* when the cat's away, the mice are running rampant and some are fighting each other it seems.

that said... my vacation.
am sunburned as heck right now... good sunburn, not ouchburn. although my eyes are a tad puffed (will lavender witch hazel 'em in a minute)

been eating....everything. pulled pork (still had leftovers), chicken&dumplings - homemade.... schnitzel, s'mores, blueberry pancakes, cheese, cheese buns, goat cheese en croute, chicken cheese steak sammich, ice cream... dried cherries, regular black cherries, kick ass coffee, oh, and a plum...

my tummy is like "you bitch. what the hell???"

well... am going to stand at end of driveway now to try to publish this... I will be able to see the snakes and bears.... might be attacked by hummingbirds...

::: plunked in on my treO:::

so i forgot that i signed up for an open mic for this thursday at 6pm... til i got the email reminding me --- the mass email... where it listed the 20 comics performing... just regular comics names... *sigh*

then it listed "erin bennett from gigglechick.com"

okay - yeah - it's an open mic. yeah, i have my site with the open mics listed. yes, i should be fine with this...

*sigh* what happened? i had a bit of a panic attack... it's only a bloody open mic, too. ack. it's good i am going to do it though. i need to get onstage before the 20th.

i wish i were one of those comics that just waltzes onstage and thinks stuff up on the fly (yeah i can do that if i am at work and just yapping with people... but on the fly at a show? hell no.) *sigh*

but i suppose getting back onstage is the toughest part.

here's the skinny. i am sunburnt. crispy. red. not pasty.

by thursday, i should be peeling. fantastic.

by this weekend, when i have to meet a friend of mine for the first time ever, i should have a hint of leprosy.

by next wednesday, as i am taking the stage, with the spotlight glaring on me in front of 150 drunkards, yeah, i will look like i have the mange.

brilliant.

*sigh*

with all of these sighs, i think i am beginning to hyperventilate online. oh dear goodness. *sigh*

ah, 'twas back to work for me today. fantastic. (note the unenthralled usage of a period, rather than the woo hoo of an exclamation mark.)

anyway. that said. was on the phone til 4:30am again --- would type an exclamation point, but am too damned tired.

am still writing new material. yes, i've been bellyaching about using some of my old material... most likely i will use 90% of it just so i get my stage-legs again... so the flop-sweat doesn't pour forth from every orifice on my body (actually, sweat would technically only be excreted by my pores. god help me if the orifices get involved.)

think i can just drag a bunch of pages from my site up onstage, pass out photocopies and say "please turn to page 6, paragraph 4 and read aloud for 5 to 7 minutes" and call it my set?

no?

damn. fine, guess i have to drag my seltzer with lemon up there with me so the mouth doesn't fill up with cotton.

must remember to NOT say "alright. alright." and "sooooo...." like i used to when i first started (way back in november of 1999.)

anyway --- (oh and i say that a lot, too.) go check out chicks and giggles... don't know why i like that name for a site... anyone?

so... i've been slathering aloe, cucumber gel, cocoa butter and bag balm (yes. bag balm. the stuff farmers use on cow/sheep/goat udders/teats. yes I also just said "teats".)

I showered. had a close call with the face. apparently, if you have steam or hot water around a "healing" sunburn for 5 minutes, that layer of skin actually tries to "lift up"....

so after shower, the moisturizing slather routine began...

it's not peeling yet. the tanburn is still intact... but - now that I am on the train - I see that my nose and the surrounding cheek bits, while still tan, are getting that hard skin thin leather layer. the pre-peel warning layer.

so I just slapped some cocoa butter on it... yet, it was not soaking in, so my face looked like I had icing on it & I now smell like chocolate covered cucumbers.

going to see if duane reade has that spring water spray mist - gotta keep myself (face) hydrated. lovely that I was going to take headshot photos tonight.

if nothing works, either I will be known by the photos as the leper comic or the girl who had to photoshop an entirely new layer of skin onto her picture.

and on that note.... I am tired. train sleep begins now.

::: plunked in on my treO:::

this could be me trying to write my stand-up set (or maybe that's what's causing my face to peel -- which, by the way, i began to molt at 11:36am today)

[sent to me by a co-worker...]

so after a 2 year "hiatus" (october of 2003 was the last time I was up) I took the stage.

the show started at 6, I left work at 5:20... tried hailing a cab for 15 minutes to no avail...

then I heard, "ding ding" - bike cab rikshaw thing. the girl asked "where do you have to go?"... I told her 24th between 2nd & 3rd... "easy. I can get you there in 9 minutes for $20"

I weighed the alternative: no cabs, massive traffic and being late to the mic and not getting stage time.

fine. I hopped on the bike cab rikshaw thing... holy crap! that's fun! nearly died 4 times! almost got hit by a police truck and an suv! went down one way streets the wrong way! I did my best princess elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist wave to the passers-by... looking ever-so-touristy, yes I took photos. (later, kids, will post later.) and I made it from 35th & 6th to 24th & 2nd in SIX MINUTES! awesome. yeah, $20... but I wasn't buying drinks or eating at the club, so... worth it.... she drove up onto the sidewalk and I made a spectacle of myself with my entrance :)

NOW TO THE GOOD PART!

the thursday aaron haber open - my review...

aaron kicks ass. true, I haven't been onstage in awhile, and the last open mic was a crappy one I ran at Coffee Blue in belmar in front of 14 year old punks likkered up on coffee... but, i've been to open mics in the past (parkside, gladys', etc) but it was a really comfy experience... complete with movie theatre candy (i chose the huge bag of swedish fish... hell yeah. glutton)

only 5 minutes, my throat was closing and choking back coughs as the six comics ahead of me did their thang... I got up there wound up doing my erin go braghless bit (hadn't planned on it) - rusty and filled with cobwebs.

yep, had my notes up there with me. crutch. skimmed through them... okay, I lie, I frigging held the book up and actually read from it at one point. which, I had written this stuff during lunch (nothing like calling an audible and winging new stuff)

yeah - I will check my recording when I get home, but I KNOW that I did that nervous rush-thru ramble...

silly thing is, I feel a lot calmer. might try to find another mic between now and wednesday...

wound up talking about fat matt's fanny pack... haven't done that in 4 years (onstage) but for some reason there it was.

at least the initial jitter crap is over. it was a room of like 23 comics (quite a number of whom were really good.)

it was great to meet aaron, alan and jonny (all have had their mics listed on the site) as well as amy, robin and quite a number of others

another girl who will be performing at the improv next wednesday, shannon, she was good... I really will need to tighten up my set and work on being a little less bitter in one bit of it for wednesday...so, wrapping things up, I think I rambled about being a leper - will have to listen to my recording (i bought a $30 digital voice recorder at bloody kmart - so odds are it'll be garbled)

I know I was nervous as hell up there. I was using 98% new material... was so used to working my old set into the ground, but only opened with the braghless bit.

didn't throw up. that was a plus.

my memory/learning diability has gotten worse since I last performed. maybe I should just talk off the cuff rather than "perfectly" written sets that get effed if I go off-track. (folks, hard to believe, but most of these posts I think about and comb through the words for your reading pleasure)

right now am on the 9:02pm train home. will post photos later of the skanks that were screaming in spanish in my seat from ny to newark, then I asked them to lower their voices and they were like "escuze me?"... oh sistah, puhleaze, you are effing with the chick who dealt with the princess & the pea commuter, don't even... yadda yadda, words exchanged... let's just say that when they got off, well, i may have released a bird... and the one skank proceeded to kick my window... and as the train was pulling away I saw her surrounded by 2 security officers... thank you. my work here is done for the day.

what else? will post and tweak site more a little later

okay. so, as i was walking to work this morning, i fell UP 5 steps in Penn Station.

yes. you read correctly.

UP.

am an ass.

i was reading email on my phone and my flip-flop, well, it flopped and so did i. UP 5 steps. i so cannot multitask.

of course, it was rush hour and people saw, and so i got up and did my best mary lou retton "nailed it" gymnast move with my arms raised so that people would laugh not at me but with me.

luckily the sunburn is the colour of me blushing, so it all blended...

will most likely have a huge bruise on my right shin within 4 hours... i am in pain.

effing stairs. my back is out now. i am likkered up on Aleve.

'I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.' ~ Bill Cosby

'To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.'

~ Joseph Chilton Pearce

yeah yeah, i know it's two quote posts in a row. whattaya want? am busy running around getting a manicure/pedicure today as well as a couple of outfits to choose from for wednesday's show.

still wondering how to lose 60 pounds in 4 days (besides cutting off left thigh)

a hearty thank you and hug to my favourite "stalker", mike, for sending me the half blood prince today.... looks like i will be awake on the train reading this puppy!

thank you!

My horoscope for Sunday, July 17:

Talk about a good time. The universe has set you up for love, luck and anything else you can imagine. Your worst problem will be which dream to wish for when you close your eyes and cross your fingers.

BRING IT.

okay. i have to catch an 11:36AM train into the city (yes. i am heading in on a weekend) have to meet the UA*click* for the first time at about 1:45... yes, am taking my new potter book and my sketchbook... and need to hop in the shower now...

hoping the rain just chills for a bit (that is NOT my wish though - am not closing my eyes, nor am i crossing my fingers.)

by the way - Carnival of the NJ Blogs is up

guess I didn't post yesterday, eh? okay... sunday met my friend in the city, was great to finally meet him face to face... yes, I am being vague and mysterious here. maybe soon I will yap more.

this morning, besides breaking out with a huge zit on my chin that most likely will be my comedy partner onstage tomorrow night (bastard), I broke a nail. past the quik. couldn't find krazy glue this morning- will hunt for during lunch, or better yet, will get nails redone during instead.

the air (down the shore) has grabbed hold of me in a big sweaty hug and slobbered on me... I am not looking forward to how it'll treat me in the city today.

what else? been writing my set over and over so I remember it (big problem of mine with the CAPD is the memory- always good when you need to perform)

was planning to drive into the city, there's a small part of me that's thinking that taking the train up, then getting a hotel room might be the way to go since I will be leaving the city pretty late and still have to work in the morning. will price out rooms (no. not staying at the W, thanks)

my back. i've had frozen peas on it for 2 nights now... it might be getting a little better, but am still walking like A) a 90 year old woman... or B) 90 year old woman with stick up her heinie.

have busy night. must prep for show, memorize bits, find ABVs (don't ask), take headshot of me and my pimple, and write/print out bio/comedy resume (short)

and now, now I will attempt to pass out on train.

(am feeling good about my set. am comfortable with it. just, eh, need to check the time in it)

must try not to fiddle with broken hanging nail (it's one of those hallf torn ones. will get silk on it today.)

*whew* think I purged everything... now, train nap.

::: plunked in on my treO:::

wanna pass your doberman off as a poodle!??!?!?!

so...freaking out a little bit - if my pattern is still the same, around 5pm i will become extremely tired... then will not be able to stop yawning before the show...

i feel confident about my set - just have to take a few minutes and time it again. was trying to go over it (silently) on the train this morning with my timer, but the noise during the commute was horrendous... like constant chatter --- yeah yeah, if i could remember my set whilst crazy commuter noise was prattling on, then i can remember it whilst onstage... hopefully...

will bring small crib note up with me. (it's not cheating.)

other than that.... booked at hotel room close to work, so i can stay out a bit tonight without having to worry about driving home at an ungodly hour then coming back up here tomorrow morning...

they will still let people in at the door - even without reservations...

again, here's the info - tell 'em you are there to see erin 'gigglechick' bennett

Wednesday, July 20th @ 7:00PM
New York Improv Comedy Club
318 West 53rd Street • New York, NY
$15 at the door • two drink minimum

DOORS OPEN AT 6:20pm - get there early to get a good seat.

i think i am going to throw up.

nerves. nothing to do with bulimia.

oh, i checked into my hotel a little while ago.... erm... you remember that room that tom hanks' character initially stayed in in BIG? you know, the hovel? yeah, that was nice.

whatever. it's okay. not gonna die there.

so i have to leave here at 5pm and head to hotel get changed, memorize set (it's probably in my head, i just am scattered right now. i really have to make sure it's under 7 min. it's just been terribly noisy all day - first on the train and, well, i really haven't tried to memorize stuff here at work.)

a bunch of people from the office are coming to see me, so tomorrow will either be great or no one will be looking directly into my eyes.

on that note, so far, thank y'all who've wished me luck...

once i get off the stage i'll be fine :}

and if anyone is coming to the show (7pm. improv. 53rd & 8th ave) feel free to leave a review...

as i sit here devouring my celebratory day-after-not-bombing teriyaki salmon/mashed potatoes/string beans with a diet dr. pepper from the Bread Factory (the official eatery of gigglechick.com - when i am too lazy to venture further than across the street) - i want to take the time to thank all of you for your well wishes and good lucks and broken legs, etc... y'all rock!

and a hearty thank you to mary (who posted a review of the set on bookblog.net - complete with, quite possibly, one of the worst-ever photos of me :) - also a hearty thanks to sean, chris and lem for being brave enough to come out and see if i crashed and burned... i felt as if i might have skidded a little, but no major body damage.

i had a great time. the improv is a great club to perform at and i hope to do more shows there in the future!!!!!

i was totally nervous, after thinking about it, i only had run an open mic back in october of 2003... that was the last time i'd been onstage (besides the 5 min. open mic at the NYCC last thursday) prior to 2003 i remembered that it was january of 2002... i was dating the GSB back then

i am happy with how i did - for now - basically the "comeback" jitters and such... but i received some great constructive criticism and will be implementing that...

but again, thank you guys for yapping your support at me, that was cool of you ---- hopefully i will be up again soon and more of you can come out and point and laugh at me!!!

THIS JUST IN::: my NEXT show at the Improv:

Saturday, August 20th @ 7:00PM
New York Improv Comedy Club
318 West 53rd Street • New York, NY
$12 with reservation (will give number at later date)
$15 at the door • two drink minimum

they're searching bags on the trains.

i must tell you, I am all for it. This morning I was not searched... I am a little afraid of what will happen when they do search my bag tonight --- see, being a stand-up comic, i have my crazy notepad, tape recorder and a timing device (a digital kitchen timer thing) on me at all times... I am hoping that they don't search my bag and think that I am carrying the makings for an explosive.... see, the only place I bomb is onstage (okay, and quite possibly when i write on my site, as well.)

After the recent blasts overseas, yes, I say go ahead. Search me. Search everyone. Heck, they make you go through rigorous searches at the airports. The train is just as an important mode of mass transportation as an airline. There are more people onboard a single commuter train than a plane, so, it makes sense. The thoughts of going in the tunnel and under the Hudson jar my nerves a little as it is... but after the recent attacks I find myself sitting in one of the seats near the Emergency windows or close to the end of the car.

So, whatever precautionary measure they have to take. Do it. Bomb sniffing dogs? I will supply the kibble. Bring those pooches onto the NJ Coastline trains. As long as they are doing their jobs, making things safer, I am all for it. Yes, the idea of having my "freedom" compromised is a little daunting... but, I'd rather have my arms and legs than some guy bringing his knapsack filled with explosives or other chemicals onto the Long Branch local.

Not for nothing, perhaps it'll clean some of the riff-raff off the train in the long-run as well. Because if you are so against having people do a little search, then what kind of shady character are you and what do you have to hide?

hey i'd like to send out a big "eff you" to the freak standing in penn station, leaning against the pole sporting his best revenge of the nerds creep-o collection...

gee thanks for grabbing my right boob then saying "Hey Bouncy"...

did you enjoy my right arm flailing up and belting you in the nose as I kept running for my train?

I swear, if I didn't think I would miss the express to long branch I would've called over the military guy that was 20 feet away looking for terrorists...

only think worse than a sexual assault during rush hour is a sexual assault AND having to wait 45 more minutes because you've missed your train.

yeah, when I looked back and saw him trying to put his glasses back on I knew I had a direct hit.

jackass.

::: plunked in on my treO:::

i made it into the star ledger paper again... they didn't say a few other quotes that i had given them (basically stating that if you've got nothing to hide, then you shouldn't give a damn.)

what i said to the reporter was THIS verbatim.

of course, they make me out to be some scaredy cat or i made myself out to be one. i'm not though - i just was pointing some stuff out. glad they used the kibble quote though.

really wish he used my timer/bombing on stage bit though... *sigh* and would slapping a link to gigglechick.com kill them... ever? hmmmm?

i like the Joe Malinconico reporter guy, though...

well, just in case i don't get mentioned in the carnival of the nj bloggers this week, due to me commenting on a post on there (by the way this is pretty interesting), i figured that i would recap my exciting week.....

• let's start it off nice and slow with the "doberoodle" link, shall we?

• i was basically having a terrible bout with nerves prior to my show

• ah, sweet success at not falling off the stage, standing there like a deer in headlights or urinating on myself in front of 160 people.... the re-cap.

• interviewed by the Star Ledger about the bag searches that will be implemented on the NJ Transit trains beginning this week....

• and, last, but not least.... being groped in the middle of penn station and then belting the guy upside his head

now that i have the one improv gig under my belt (and a month before my next --- i do have a couple of open mics that i am doing this week... working out the kinks, getting back into fighting shape so to speak) and i have freelance websites to build....

but most importantly, i have to finish Harry Potter... which i feel is like the kid's version of the DaVinci Code.

well, i've never written about my teeth (except maybe once about the dentist putting novacaine near the wrong tooth.)

but now i have a FREAKY stalker jackass who "thinks" he's smooth by emailing my portfolio email address with his sick crap...

my dear friends, i give you.... Jake Rivers <eros_80@yahoo.com> --- who apparently signs his name "Craig":

From: Jake Rivers
To: erin@erinsportfolio.com
Sent: Mon, 25 Jul 2005 08:37:28 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: your teeth/mouth blog

Erin,

Your write-up really interested me. Aside from your interesting bio and the fact that you seem like a cool and fun girl, I thought I'd write to you. You talked about your extensive dental work.

Please take the time to tell me more about your dental history. I do like a girl with lots of dental work...really intriguing to admire and enjoy with all that silver glimmer in the back of your mouth in contrast to all the pink moistness of your mouth and creamy white teeth...would you say your teeth are large or small? Hey, don't be shy. Send me some mouth pics so I can see your wonderful description. Do your fillings flow over the side of the tooth or are they round or oval, oblong or like a cross or pinwheel in the molar tops? Any in between the teeth? Sorry to hear about the pain...but no pain no gain. Would you consider getting a removable partial denture for that missing tooth or any others?
Your story sounded fascinating so I thought you might also turn out to be a nice girl worthwhile to get to know.
I am single white male, 33, 6 ft tall, blue eyes, 190 lbs. What about you?

Craig

so i had to write back to him (using my pottymouth):

gigglechickha@aol.com wrote:
take me off of any fucking email address book you have.

thanks.

before i use my mouth to call up yahoo.

jackass

to my, eh, delight... he responded:

Subject: do you have any aliases?
since I do not like your attitude!
C

eh, gee, yeah i have some aliases --- suuuuuure.... i'm so going to tell him all of my email addresses...

*sniffle* he doesn't like my attitude anymore.

so, if anyone has major dental work and would like to hook up with this icky creature... i suggest you use his email address above. you should have a good attitude as well...

good luck.

as i stepped outside this morning, the air seemed to grab me by the shoulders and proceeded to lick my arms.

yep.

a tad hazy hot and humid... bit of an understatement...