okay... so theweblog awards where i'm a finalist for best blog design - have i mentioned that at all?... (*cough* vote *cough*)
okay, so i went to the doctor's late this afternoon to see if my sore throat is anything (turns out it was allergies).
what i also went for was, eh, well... i'm depressed.
hahahah gigglechick. depressed. oh the irony!
yeah, well, whatever... so, the doctor was like so tell me what's wrong... and i had to blather on to him...
"well, let's see... I've gained 25 pounds in 3 months. once i saw the scale scream 197 at me this morning i fell into a ickier depression and had 2 meatloaf sammiches... so i am pretty sure that i am topping 200 now. my hair is starting to fall out in the shower and i have 2 pairs of jeans that actually fit me - for now. I am working from home 3 days a week, thankfully, because i am turning into a hermit, which is actually okay since the whole 2 pairs of jeans thing. oh, and i am a stand-up comic and have to perform in a week and haven't gotten onstage since september"
doc: "a stand-up comic? hmmmm... be funny.... hahah! i'm just kidding. people ask me to diagnose them all the time since i'm a doctor, i figured i'd ask you to make me laugh"
me: "i'll have to charge you."
doc: "heh. nice. ah well, i have a pill that'll get you back on your feet on stage and help with the weight... and then maybe we'll see you on HBO... hahah.. HBO. right?"
me: "funny you should mention that HBO thing, Doc. that was the last time i performed.. the hbo aspen showcase/audition in september - about 15 pounds ago"
doc: "seriously? oh cool. did you make it or?"
me: "according to others they haven't made a decision"
doc: "well... i can help you out. you know that Gerri on the "Facts of Life"? the one with Cerebral Palsy? She's a stand-up... but she's so not funny."
me: "I know! but how can you help?"
doc: "and there's this blind girl comic in the city who, again, isn't funny... but people laugh because they feel they have to"
me: "so, eh... what are you saying?"
doc: "well, I can give you some sort of an affliction. Affliction comics do well without even trying... I can paralyze you... you can be the Paralyzed Comic. or... maybe a little less drastic? Amputee Comic? do you need your left leg?"
me: "yeah... i mean, it IS stand-up comedy..."
doc: "okay.. well... we can cut off a toe and see how your career pans out..."
all true. i am now about to enjoy the effects of Wellbutrin XL... he gave me 3 weeks worth of samples...
you can also go to italk2much.com and nominate me for BlogWhore of the Year...
(i think the past week sums up the category pretty well, doesn't it???)
