okay so i was on the phone a little while ago with the lovely jersey central power & light (aka First Energy) trying to whittle away at mom's bill.
first of, i was on the bloody automated system for 10 minutes saying "YES"
*sorry. i. did. not. under. stand. you.*
"YES"
*sorry. i. did. not. under. stand. you.*
"YES"
*i'm. sorry. i. still. did. not. under. stand. you.*
"FUCKING YES!"
(it was like this for a while. it was like talking with one of my ex-boyfriends.)
anyway, i got fed up. said "OPERATOR" and then was on hold for 4 minutes.
ah, a person, finally.
*insert mr. moviefone voice that's been bred with the smarmiest game show host voice who's had an affair with a used car salesman voice*
"Hiii. This is Zachary"
me: hi zachary, i'm trying to pay my mother's bill
smarmasszachary: i need the account number!
(i give that. yeah, you didn't expect me to type that here, did you?)
smarmasszachary: how can i hellllllp you!?
me: as i said, i need to pay $300 my mom's bill
smarmasszachary: that's not gonna cut it
me: actually, my mother's in the hospital right now and that's all i can afford at the moment and *okay i started getting sniffly* sorry, i'm a little upset
smarmasszachary: hey, i'm upset too. $300 ain't gonna cut it
me: but i...... wait. what are you upset over
smarmasszachary: hey lady you try to have this job all day and you'll be upset having to deal with people who can't afford things, too
--------- okay... um... you may want to remove any small children from the room here because fucking zachary is getting his fucking ear kicked in here -----------
me: pardon me, zachary? oh iiiiiiiii'm soooooooo sorry that you have to deal with sitting there on your ass using your fucking weak psuedo mr. moviefone voice of yours that will never see the light of day and that you are upset talking with people while my mother is dying [okay. she's not dying now, but he was fucking pissing me off] how dare you, ignorant little twat [yeah, i said twat. i never say it. but seriously, he was a prig] i hope your fucking manager is hearing this conversation as it's being recorded right now. so how DARE you ever say that your pissy little fucking job answering phones and typing a couple of numbers is up there with someone's mother in the hospital on her deathbed you lowlife dolt"
smarmasszachary: but....
me: fuck you jackass
*click*
then i called back and bypassed the automated thing spoke with some awesome woman name carol paid the bill and then tattled on zachary.
okay. well. come on. first off, he shouldn't have said that. second, lose the fucking game show voice you arrogant little schmuck. third. you never know when some woman whose mother is in a rehabilitation center might be PMSing hard and on the brink of a nervous breakdown....
