okay... let me preface this entry with a "if you are somewhat squeamish, you might want to leave now" and a "if you prefer a little mystery about me, do not read any further..."
that said.........................
okay. since you're still reading, i'll consider you as one of my closest and dearest friends (*ahem* my birthday is next thursday, but that's beside the point)
okay... you know that i am overweightish -- okay, not "ish", i am. i'm 5'6" and as of this morning, 204 pounds. there. whatever. i am still sticking with the 90 pound boobs idea rather than the 90 pound ass.
now, those of you who have been reading me for a while now, know that i've done the weight watchers thing (which DOES work, but i am somewhat too lazy to get out of bed, or rather, off the couch at 8am on a monday morning to go to the ww meeting that i like.)
you know that i have started a few rounds of The Great Blogger Fat Off - alas, while many of you who did this with me actually stuck with it, i grew weary and slacked off on that.
i've gained like 45 pounds in the past year or so (well up and down. i went to the doctor last week and they said i was 201 a year ago, but i know in october of '06 i was 177... so, i'm a bit "up & down")
okay. so. ***whispering*** i bought Alli. ***end of whisper***
what? what do you mean you don't know what "Alli" is?
okay. eh... go to myalli.com
here's the skinny (haha... no pun intended... oh hell, yes. pun intended. who am i kidding!?)
i bought the Starter Kit today of the Alli stuff. It's actually the over-the-counter Xenical. Alli is the only FDA approved diet pill on the market right now.
yes, i know i know, i need to just "do it on my own" ---- here's the scoop (oh! ice cream pun!!) i am pretty much a binge eater (i'm a Polish bulimic, i binge without purging.)
so, basically, it's xenical - but half the dosage. what's xenical? it's a fat blocker.
what does this mean? errrrmmmmmm... wellllllll... um... a fat blocker... basically it doesn't allow 30% of the fat you eat to be absorbed.
eh... i'm going to have to spell this out for you, aren't i?
when the fat isn't absorbed, it's still in your body ---- but needs to get out.... fast.
are you following me here? have i lost anyone yet?
apparently there are "side effects" called "treatment effects" --- but, what some are calling "Alli-oops!"
yes. i am now taking (we'll see for how long) something where there is ACTUALLY a "tip" in the guide for it that suggests "taking an extra pair of pants to work".
(are we all on the same page here now?)
here's the thing... i took a pill this morning with my breakfast - first off, the diet is supposed to be low-fat otherwise you will "experience major treatment effects". I wanted to see the "effects" to know what i'm in for. Soooooooo... I got a pork roll & cheese sandwich for breakfast (it's a jersey thing, folks.)
let's just explain that my breakfast is not what some would consider "low fat"
not for nothing - knocking on wood - there have been no crazy "treatment effects" (i'm going to call them TEs - because my fingers are tired)
i have been staying close to home (thankfully, i do work at home, so no need to pack an extra pair of pants) anyway, i did feel something kick down there and perhaps the threat of a gurgle, but nothing happened.
then i did dinner - rather than taunt the Alli gods, i grilled a low-fat turkey burger with 2% white american cheese slapped it on a bun and grabbed a garlic pickle and called it a meal. oh, with an Alli pill on the side.
this was 2 hours ago. I think i did not anger the Bowels of Alli - but, since this is the first day on it, I'm kinda walking on eggshells and listening to my body.
I've stocked up on the toilet paper, bought some panty liners (yes, that's effing gross, but god help me if something goes awry, i might be poopychick instead and that, well, that's just not good.)
YES, i know there are no magic bullet pills for weight loss. but like alcholics have "antabuse" that they can take that makes them sick if they drink, i'm considering Alli to be like that. As long as I don't binge on a bucket of potato chips, I should be okay. it should just keep me honest with what i am eating... otherwise, i am going to have a permanent ring around my heinie.
it may become an effective tool in "training" me to eat a diet that is low in fat.
we'll see how i fare. hell, i may get the skitters and say screw this!
anyone else on it? where my poopie peeps at, yo!?
Whatchoosayin'?? (6 yapped)
I'm totally tempted to hop on the Alli train with you but Margaret Cho was on the view the other day and said she tried a fat blocker that actually made orange oil rocket out of her ass "like it was the fourth of july" - so i'm going to follow your progress for a bit first.
Thanks for being the guinea pig.
Blog on!
[note from GC: yes. there is orange... but it's not a rocket. it's not horrible if you stick to the low-fat plan]
Posted by Ali | June 20, 2007 2:48 PM
Hey... wondering how y'all are doing since you've been on alli for a couple days now. I just started this morning and am paying close attention to each and every gurgle in my stomach! I know a girl is supposed to fart like 15 times a day, but I'm tellin' you... I'm a little scared to let it out. Anyone experience the side effects yet? I read somewhere that it takes about 48 hours before you start to experience them.
[note from GC: read the most recent posts - i've been on it 5 days so far]
Posted by SodaGirl | June 18, 2007 2:26 PM
I bought alli as well, today is my second day on it and so far so good, i am so nervous i will have the treatment effects as they call them. I am doing weight watchers as well and I have been journaling my food and fat grams, I have not even gone over 10 grams of fat per meal, so i guess that is why I am not having any trouble. But my fear is eating out, I DON'T WANT TO DO IT. I mean once you are out you are stuck! what do you carry clothes with you while you are out, and I have not told all my friends/family, that I am on alli. Well, I'm excited to see your blog and I will be checking back in with you, good luck!
Posted by Summy | June 16, 2007 2:37 PM
Good Luck Erin!
I read about the pills and thought, WOW! Finally a diet pill approved by the FDA! And then I read about the side effects, and just reading them scared the crap out of me. And if they're greasy stains on my comments, it's from my Pringles...
Posted by Julie | June 15, 2007 11:49 AM
How much did this cost? (the kit) - I thought about trying it when I heard about it months ago - but I heard about the side effects, and my father-in-law told me about some diet pill he took years ago and the weird effects it did to him (like Alli) and I'm just not sure I want to go down that road.
I've gained 4 pounds in 2 weeks - no thanks to my job. I can't wait till the family is gone for a week and some of my co-workers for the other week so that I can do the Celebrity Fit Club healthy eating, and see if I can shed a few pounds without anyone around.
[note from GC: it was about $59. that was at walgreens. it's cheaper on amazon, i had ordered it on there, but they are backed up and it wasn't shipping for a week or more. i heard that it's $49 at walmart.]
Posted by susan | June 15, 2007 12:26 AM
Well I am thinking bout going to by some too....don't know....but like you said....I will try about anything once...to lose weight. But this scares me...the treatment effects that is.
Posted by sarahbethf | June 14, 2007 11:08 PM