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December 17, 2007 3:23 PM

First I went to weight watchers (after a 6 month hiatus - even though i've been shelling out $40/month for the fricking thing...) --- weighed in. scale said different than what my scale at home said... basically because i was wearing socks, sweatpants, undergarments (ohhhhhhh so ladylike with the term.) and t-shirt... while at home, well, let's just say every time i get on the scale, it's my birthday.

so, according to the home scale, i've lost 2.7 pounds since last thursday.

after i weighed in at Ye Ol' WW, I headed over to WOW! (that's a LOT of Ws in one sentence. cripes.)

i had a goal for the end of the week to work up to doing 7 minutes on the elliptical... since saturday i was dying at 5:15 and pushed myself to do 5:30. So today i was only thinking of doing 6 minutes on the elliptical.

I did 7:05!!! woooooooo!

I dunno, i think it was my music choice. I hadn't been playing my military cadence songs since my knees went screwy a couple of weeks ago. Saturday I had Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers coursing through my earphones. Today I was a Marine, an Army Ranger, a Navy Seal and an Air Force something or other. I didn't even notice that I had hit and surpassed the deadly 5:30 mark. Then I saw 6:15 and said "holy shit, why am I not dying here? may as well go for 7 minutes!"

got off of that, headed over to the treadmill... walked an average of 3.5 mph at a 2.0 incline for 30 minutes (it was about 1.7 miles... of course, i didn't have my nike+ fancypants shoe thing switched on..). Again. 1, 2, 3, 4, UNITED STATES MARINE CORP~!!! got me through.

Bring it. oh it's been broughten. So the music, the teevees (Price is Right was on by then) and a wee bit o' working out eye candy that was in front of me, kept me occupied mentally.

Wound up doing the crazy bicep curls on the exercise ball again. then the bosu ball thing, did the side lift whoojawhassis and then did free rows. followed by 3 sets of ab crunches (12 reps - i may be crippled by tomorrow which is not good.) and 2 sets of bridges and alternating ab crunch things... then i stretched out my hip flexors (awwwwwwwww yeah.)

TOMORROW is my first "REAL" workout with the personal trainer. I have to get there before 11 because I am "responsible for the cardio" before the session.

Kinda excited about all of this.

The place where I usually go pick up bacon & egg sammiches on hard rolls knows that I am "on a diet" and when i called up for a "bacon & egg sammich on a hard roll --- and a scrambled egg on... wheat toast" the owner was like "Erin, this is killing you to say that isn't it?" heh. the bacon & egg was for my mom this morning.

Doing okay so far.

Right now, I am only weighing in at weight watchers... but, i am logging all of my calories and whatnot (what is this, the 70s?) into CalorieKing.com

What else? It's windy as all hell. Last night our neighbour's grill fell over and into ours - this happened a few years ago too. Only this time our grill didn't fall over and shatter like the last time. Thank God.

Oh! And... okay... I'll admit one more thing that many of you might think is goofy, but whatever... I've subscribed to this Joel Osteen podcast on the ol' ipod. Now now, no, I am not banging any bibles... but I like what he has to say and all that stuff... anywhoooooooooo... he usually starts off with a joke. This week it was this:


A country couple were celebrating their 50th anniversary. The special thing about them is that they've never had an argument the entire time they've been married. When asked how they've had such a peaceful relationship, the husband explained.

As they were leaving the church on horseback after their wedding, they'd went a little ways and then the bride's horse stopped.

The bride got off the horse, looked it in the eye and said "That's 1"

The horse started moving again, but after a little while, it stopped again.

The bride got off the horse, looked it in the eye and said "That's 2"

The horse began to move again, but after a little while it stopped.

The bride got off the horse, said "That's 3." then grabbed a .45 revolver and shot the horse dead.

The husband, horrified, said "HONEY! You can't shoot an animal for not doing what it's told!"

The wife turns and faced her new husband and said:

"Honey, That's 1."


heh. nice, huh?

Whatchoosayin'?? (5 yapped)

Good job Erin Im proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!Keep up the good work.........


p.s. Im gonna send you something funny about the gym..hang on let me see if I can copy and paste it and feel free to use this on your site...


Dear Diary,

For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess -- with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed wat ching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!

I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.

Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Belinda was impatient with me, in s isting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other crap too.

Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes.

Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny witch to find me

Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

I hate that witch Belinda more than any hu man being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.

Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damned barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher.

Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little shit) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy.

I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

[note from GC: hah! very cute!]

Joel Osteen is my guilty little secret. I watch the first two minutes every Sunday after my ritual of CBS Sunday morning with the dapper Charlie Osgood and then the wrinkly ol' Bill Schieffer (and inevitably John McCain and John Edwards...they both seem to be free every single Sunday morning). Then I listen to Joel's joke and by the time he gets to "This is my bible. I am what it says I am...blah babble...." And I go to Mythbusters. Good times.

You ROCK!! Good luck with your PT tomorrow, I read somewhere that your body burns cals more effectively if you do your cardio after your weight training... don't know if there is any truth to it, but I thought I would give you something to ask your trainer about tomorrow.

Glad to hear those men in uniform are breezing you through your workouts! Mmmmm, always loved a man in a uniform, lol. Keep up the great work GC!

There is a slight possibility the lady in the joke may be an ancestor. ;-)

I think I'm in mediation right now with that country wife

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