gigglechick.com

it's feb 1. don't forget to "rabbit rabbit" first thing when you wake up.

HEY ALL!!!

Just sending this out so y'all can set your DVRs or TIVos or whatever... or, maybe you're staying home on a Friday night...

WATCH COMEDY CENTRAL PRESENTS JORDAN RUBIN

TONIGHT at 10:30pm/9:30c

http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/comedy_central_presents/index.jhtml

AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT...

add Jordan as a friend

http://www.myspace.com/jordanrubin

TELL HIM GIGGLECHICK SENT YA'

may as well sit inside for the next 6 weeks of winter and play games.

PEOPLE COMMENTING:

"whoa someone's having a Super Bowl party tomorrow, huh!?!"***

i went in for a couple of snacks for tomorrow and some diet soda for gigglemom

i came out with about 15 grocery bags filled with stuff (hey, i also bought fruit. i got strawberries, bananas, pineapple, green grapes and... oh... gummy strawberries.)

i just ate half of the duffel bag sized package of Pizza Rolls

tomorrow ain't gonna be pretty, folks. it's going to be filled with tostidos, salsa, salsa con queso, ruffles potato chips, helluvagood onion dip, helluvagood ranch dip, pierogies, the aforementioned pizza rolls and i'll be chasing it all down with water.

hey. at least i won't be downing a 12 pack of coors light with everything.

*** i'm not having a super bowl party

oh my god. whatever you do... do not eat 12 of the 15 servings of Pizza Rolls that come in the huge duffel bag-sized package.

it's times like this that i wish i was able to be bulimic for a few hours.

i've got the "binge" part down... it's the "purge" part that's not really appealing.

blaaaaaaaaargh.

me no feel good.

so, i'll be watching the game and rooting for both teams (i'm a Pats fan - been one since 1991 - but also root for the Giants --- being from NJ and all.)

so, mainly i'll be yapping about the commercials like i've done for the past number of years.

welcome to my superbowl commercial re-cap! i'll be posting the list and details to all of the commercials throughout the course of the game (basically, from national anthem/coin toss thru final whistle.) it's gonna be a long post!

POST - GAME COMMERCIAL ANALYSIS - the GIGGLECHICK TOP 3:

1. Bridgestone Tires - Screaming Animals!!

2. Budweiser - Hank the Clydesdale in training

3. Tide to Go - Silence the Stain and CareerBuilder's "Follow your heart" (yeah it's a tie)

those are my picks... nothing else stood out to me at all really... nothing that made me guffaw (except the squirrel)

Watch & Rank the ads here on msnbc (of course, feel free to leave a comment on my site too!!)
click here for the clips

okay - first off, this isn't a post for pity or anything. i'm just writing --- since gigglemom is sleeping.

It's Super Duper Tsunami Tuesday!! I can hardly sleep!!! Okay, i actually have been napping most of the day (stupid cold has knocked me out... either that or i've caught a case of congestive heart failure from gigglemom --- joking.)

Just watched Hillary on Letterman. She did really really well!!

(Sheryl Crow is singing now... ooooo i like this song. gotta check out the new album i guess)

anywhoooooo... don't forget to vote tomorrow (in states where applicable)

*** thanks to all of you for the comments about the last post. you guys are awesome!

**** and a congrats to Craig Ferguson on getting his American citizenship the other day!!

it would've been 2 in this household, but gigglemom is too sick to go vote (i tried. i was about to pull a "weekend at bernie's" type of thing by dragging her to the polling place to click the button for HC... alas, I didn't have the strength... i needed jonathan silverman to help me.]

anyway... the Hillary signs are out and about on the sides of the road --- which is good.

Now, i'm not saying you shouldn't vote for Barack. He seems like a swell egg. If he winds up being *gasp* the nominee, i'll back him.

But for today, I am woman, voting for Hillary, hear me roar.

:}

hey - do me a favour and vote for my fellow comedian, Fiona Walsh**.

http://www.warrenadler.com/contest07.shtml

get her first prize in the short story contest (hers is "High Heels" by Fiona Walsh )

** she and i were the only ladies in the HBO audition/showcase a couple of years ago

[no idea why the hell they have Gravel listed on there]

okay, i don't post crap about Britney Spears on here (not that i remember... if so, maybe a couple of times, it's not like i am TMZ)

anyhooooooo...

holy frigging shite... here's the restraining order with a declaration from her mother. (PDF)

keep scrolling through till you get to the declaration. it's an insane story. if it's true, jeez, it's effed up for that poor kid.

regarding a few posts ago about gigglemom.

i won't go into total details at the moment but, let's just say i don't think i ever want to have children if it means changing a diaper and cleaning up poop after them.

especially if the child is 250 pounds.

Clinton wins NJ over Obama!

(and very cool of Massachusetts to choose Hillary as well... sort of knocks the Kennedys back a bit, huh?)

gigglemom seems to be feeling a little better today.

first, i think she may have caught that "tired bug" from me. not sure. i HAVE been tired because of the headcold. maybe the lethargy just multiplied a million times for her.

she didn't take that provigil today. just to see if that was making her feel like shite as well.

legs aren't as swollen.

keeping my eyes on her.

[of course, i just asked her if her back was still hurting her and she said she "didn't know"]

dang, i didn't make it to church to get ashes. haven't missed an ash wednesday in a while.

anyway... gigglemom is still feeling punky. yet, she doesn't want to go to the hospital.

"let me see how I feel before I go there" she says. (which is like cleaning before the maid comes according to my friend peewee.)

i think that she may break down tomorrow if she's still feeling crummy

so gigglemom is still feeling like hell and is basically a walking coma (in my opinion)

okay... strike that, she really doesn't walk. she's shuffled to the kitchen a couple of times to hold a cigarette (which she has had one or two puffs on --- i'm the one smoking it secondhand moreso than her at this point)

anyway.

she's stubborn.

i've given her till 10am and then i said i am hauling her to the hospital.

UPDATE 1:26PM: didn't go to the hospital. she "wants to see how she feels" --- will give her another day... maybe.

****NOTE: I KEEP UPDATING THIS POST AS THE CRAZY RESPONSES FROM THE PSYCHO ROLL IN, SO KEEP CHECKING IN PERIODICALLY****

Last crazy response posted at 8pm

so a day or so ago, some dolt posted a comment under my entry about the Democratic Debate (which i posted way back on Jan. 5th).

If you can read this without your eyes bleeding and hearing pops and whistles by the end, God bless you.

gigglemom is in the bathroom with diarrhea and is throwing up at the same time.

she will kill me if i call 911 for an ambulance... yet, she won't let me take her to the hospital

so i said "i just want to take you to at least get checked out."

she replied "erin i can't handle this [you nagging me about the hospital] right now"

to which i replied "well, i can't handle THIS"

yeah. i am not trying to make it sound cruel - it probably came out sounding like it was, but, i just had to walk her into the bathroom because she can barely get up or move by herself - her legs are shaking and weak, change her underpants, bring her oxygen, give her a trashbag to puke into, pray that diarrhea wouldn't get on the floor, hear her gutteral moans of pain and wait.

basically i meant that the hospital would be able to do a better job than i am doing.

now she wants to lay down and sleep. i really need to get her to go to the fucking hospital.

she's pissed off at me that i would even bring the hospital up right now.

gee. silly me for thinking that for the past week and a half she's been sick as hell

and in checking out symptoms, there seems to be "diarrhea" listed under some of the congestive heart failure symptoms.

the main reason gigglemom doesn't want to go to the hospital is...

quote:

"because my hair's a mess and i stink"

oh. okay. yeah. that makes sense.

total sense.

*thud*

i am going out to put towels down on the passenger seat of my car and try to cram her in it (she's back on the toilet right now.)

okay. she wants me to call the ambulance.

(waiting a minute though so she can rest up for the ride.... i know. i know. ridiculous.)

the ambulance got here at about 5:30pm. 3 minutes later, gigglemom was being hauled to the hospital.

i called my dad and stepmother and told them that she was headed over there (i was in my car following) --- just wanted to let them know what was going on. Karen (stepmom) asked if i wanted them to come over there. i said no, because it'd just be a waiting game for hours.

so i get there (oh. did i mention that the cop and the 2 EMT fellas were cute as hell? no? yeah. well. they were. no red hair though.)

tests, poop, catheter, blood sugar tests, --- don't mind me. very tired at the moment (i haven't eaten yet, but i have some frozen white castle sliders with my name on 'em in the freezer) very tired and giving somewhat of a cliff note version.

Chest X-Ray and then EKG test ... between the chest x-ray and the EKG, Karen and my Dad came to the hospital and hung out with us in the ER ---- which was so great of them. My dad hates hospitals, so it was really awesome that they came. Didn't have to be done but it was really nice.

More blood tests and blood cultures.

Gigglemom was admitted... for exacerbation of the COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) and also gastroenteritis (hence the *blaaarrrggh* diarrhea diarrhea *pffft* *pfffft*)

i sent dad and karen home around 10:15pm. it was late and they'd been there for a couple of hours.

but while we were waiting for a room to open up, her blood pressure dropped to like 76/38 --- yeah EXACTLY what i said... NOT GOOD.

so they tilted her head down - feet higher... and after an hour got it up to 91/47

but they ran blood cultures to see if her bowels or whatever else have an infection. in the meantime they gave her an antibiotic drip

oh and her cumadin (spelled totally wrong. it's a blood thinner that has to be monitored a LOT... ) her coumadin (yeah still spelled wrong) levels were sky high according to the test and so they had to giver her Vitamin K (isn't that a rapper or something?)

anyway... got a room.

she's in the Cardiac Observation ward with her own private room. sounds swanky, but, it's basically because she's got some sort of "STOP! wear protective gear before entering" sign...

which, as it turns out means "wash your hands before and after entering the room" according to the nurse.

basically because they are still waiting for the results of the cultures to see if she's got an infection coursing through her blood.

so, but 1:25am she was settled in the room and they were hooking her up to the Bi-pap machine (she's got sleep apnea)

visiting hours start at 9am... i am going to get some sleep and then run some errands, make the family phone calls and then head over probably at noon-ish

THANK YOU GUYS for the comments and all the good thoughts and prayers and all that good stuff!!!!

it's probably for the best that she's in the hospital.... if only for the reason that she would frigging KILL ME with her bare gastroenteritis riddled hands if she knew i posted about the poop episodes.

speaking of poop... i've got to go microwave those white castle cheeseburgers.

will keep y'all updated on what the what is.

thank you :}

it's quiet here.

the oxygen generator thing isn't making it's noise (the EMTs shut it off when they left)

mom's not here coughing or snoring or moaning

no sound.

Okay... so... The Grammy Awards are tonight.

I have two clients that have been nominated for the Best Comedy Album Grammy Award.

STEVEN WRIGHT (who is still a client)

and

LISA LAMPANELLI (who is a former client - i designed her site, but no longer maintain it.)

I'm rooting for both....

but rooting harder for one in particular. CLICK HERE to see who...

so... gigglemom is still in the hospital. i was hoping that they would send her to a rehab for a little while (not because i am heartless, just because i think that she needs to have exercise and some care and all that ------ okay, yeah... and MAYBE a tiny bit so i can have a brief break and focus on work so i don't lose any clients.)

in 2005, they sent her to a rehab after she was in the hospital for low blood oxygen levels.

but, they took the catheter out (OOOOW!) and have her eating solid food and stuff and she seems a little better. my gut feeling is that they are going to ship her home soon.

so... while she is still out of the house, i will post the BULLHOCKEY that happened in the ER on friday night.... i am probably calling the patient advocate tomorrow...

okay. it's frigging windy as hell (i could swear i heard the roof being ripped off the condo a little while ago. didn't check.)

but i DID check when i heard a loud **BANG!!!** in the backyard.

the frigging grill blew over. (it's the one i built with giggledad a couple of years ago.)

somehow i was able to lift it up again by myself (complete with the full propane tank)

**flexing my biceps... doing the crab pose... and i haven't been to the gym in a few weeks!!***

anyway. it knocked over the birdbath ---- heavy cement one that has a huge block of ice in it.

oh did i mention i was doing all of this in shorts and bare feet?

watching the grammy awards. i think i am going to start wearing outfits that Beyonce wears... you know, just to knock around the house.

hey there - so, let's see... what's up with the GM today:

well, there was talk from the doctors that they are sending her home in the next day or two.

this isn't good.

technically, it's "good" that she's not horribly horribly sick (well, not more than normal)

but... it's not good because i want her to go into rehab for a little while and get stronger... not to mention i need time to get the house to rights before she comes home (it's not the most organized place.)

so, when she told me this, i freaked out a little more in my head.

but... what i did was call the hospital.

i spoke with Social Services and asked about how she could get into a rehab. they said that i would need to speak with her doctor.

okay. so i called her doctor, who was with a patient, but she called me back about 20 minutes later.

she said that gigglemom was getting better (than she was on friday) and that they would probably discharge her in the next day or so.

i wound up explaining to her that i work during the day and that since we live in a 2 story condo, it's difficult to get her to the bathroom upstairs for the shower and also that i moved her bed to the living room 2 years ago, but she needs to get stronger and how could we get her into a rehab.

so the doctor said that the physical therapist was going to meet with gigglemom this afternoon to evaluate her. and she said that if the PT found that she wasn't totally sturdy on her feet, that they would probably recommend the rehab.

okay. so a little later, my mom called to tell me that the PT had been there and that she said that GM could probably use rehab but the PT needed to converse with GM's doctor.

i am glad i called the doctor so that she knows that it's not really the best place for gigglemom at the moment. that she needs to get stronger.

SO... i am just praying and crossing my fingers that they say that she is going to a rehab center.

ON THE COMPLAINT SIDE OF THINGS:::

I then asked the social services person who i needed to speak with about hearing my complaint about what happened on Friday night.

so they put me in touch with the manager of the ER. I wound up chatting with her, explaining (calmly) exactly what transpired that night. and the manager was horrified. totally apologized to me about it and then sent a patient advocate up to talk to my mother.

i know that they sent a PA up to talk to her because she then called me afterward all pissed off at me for calling there.

she then became MORE pissed off when i told her i had a chat with her doctor earlier.

whatever. at this point, i need to do this.

she's not fighting me about going to the rehab but she really doesn't want to go. she says "it's going to be more of a hassle to you if i go in there"

um... no. it won't.

i will be overhauling the house if she does. also focusing on frigging WORK.

i'd gone over to see her later this afternoon, the dietician came in to speak with her to tell her what the restrictions and stuff were for people diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.

yes. gigglemom was diagnosed today with diabetes. yay. yay. farking yay.

actually her blood sugar level was at 136 - which isn't totally horrible. they sayyyyyyyyyyy that at least under 110 is good. so right now we're going to try to control it with diet. (coincidentally enough, the other day i'd bought The Diabetes Diet book )

so she's got to count carbs (allowed 15 carbs per day) -- will get into this more in depth another time.

so, it should be a decent diet for me to do as well (since i am potato girl)

just got home a little while ago from my aunt & uncle's house. aunt toni called me at 4:45pm and asked me to dinner. when i came home i tackled 1/10 of the kitchen and cleaned.

i'm resting for a few minutes - then it's back to putting my house on a diet and throwing crap out.

gigglemom just called me and she is as PISSED as a wet cat in an electric factory right now... at me.

she's all "i don't know why you need to have me go to a rehab - why can't you clean when i am there - i am a 68 year old woman - etc etc etc"

i was like "it's not like i am shipping you off to a nursing home forever. you can get the rehab exercise there and shower more easily than here. just go get better."

but there was a growling match out of her and then she wound up hanging up on me.

she called me a control freak. which is HARDLY the case when it comes to this mother-daughter relationship. she's the one that's always had her thumb pressed down on me.

whatever.

she's trying to guilt me. i can't handle it.

she's going to rehaaaaaab. yeah, yeah, yeah.

not sure which one yet.

but she called. and i am going to be taking her there...

so she said "YOU NEED TO BRING ME CIGARETTES BECAUSE IT'S BEEN A STRESSFUL DAY"

fuck. i think i will bring her 1 cigarette. just so she doesn't lunge at my throat whilst i am driving her to the place.

in the meantime, i've gotta gather sweatpants and shirts and stuff for her to go there with.

man alive, i think the past 2 weeks finally caught up with me. i am exhausted.

like really... exhausted.

a couple of clips from my friend kevin's kids... heh.

[** hmmmmmph **, seeing as the codeine-induced proposal i received yesterday from furiousball is no longer valid, this is a mass valentine to everyone]

just spoke with gigglemom.

she had the physical therapy again today. again, her blood oxygen levels dropped dramatically when she would try to do the lightest of exercise.

i spoke with her on the phone - she was like "i can't believe how out of shape i am. this is horrible"

but i assured her that this is good that she's in the rehab and that she's going to get stronger.

and she agreed that it will be a good jumpstart for her.

i'm not going to go see her today because of my cold. i can't chance getting her sick. i feel bad because it's valentine's day and all. but she told me that it's fine (no trace of guilt) --- so hopefully i'll feel better tomorrow.

since i slept pretty much all day yesterday, i could not fall asleep for the life of me last night.
what time did i finally fall asleep?

6:30AM.

dog woke me up at 10:30am. (she also played a part in keeping me awake that late as well though. whining, barking and kvetching. no idea why. i put her outside about 5 times and then she'd come back in and bitch at me some more. i think that she wanted me to walk her in the freezing rain/sleet/ice storm last night. sorry, kiddo, but, you get the backyard leash during the dead of night.)

i'm trying to get up the oomph to de-clutter the joint here. i just ate a bowl of chicken flavoured rice and am now slipping into a carb-o-coma. just a little nap... i shouldn't though. i need to clean.

so very tired.

(at the momen