okay - first off, this isn't a post for pity or anything. i'm just writing --- since gigglemom is sleeping.
in fact, she's pretty much been sleeping all day (except for maybe 2 hours broken up into chunks of being awake at certain times during the day.)
for those who have just stumbled onto my site...
PREVIOUSLY ON GIGGLECHICK...gigglemom is sick. she has been. i moved back home in 2003 to take care of her. her health has really deteriorated since then. she's got COPD (it's not a police department, it's Chronic Pulmonary Obstructive Disorder), she's got emphysema, she's got congestive heart failure (CHF). she's on oxygen (and still manages to smoke every day) she had a bifemeral bi-pass 2 years ago next month. she had an AAA (abdominal aortic aneurysm) surgery in 2001. trying to think of what else... that's about it. oh. wait. she's had tingling/pins & needles feelings in her feet/legs since feb 2006 when she was last in the hospital. oh... and we're supposed to go this tuesday to get bloodwork done to see if she's diabetic...
okay... the new episode's about to start... now that you're caught up.
gigglemom is getting worse. she's gained a lot of weight over the past year (of course, i have too, but she's gained about 65 pounds.) Due to the weight gain and the tingling that she gets in her legs she really doesn't exercise. and she really has had difficulty walking. she could shuffle from the living room to the kitchen for a cigarette, not crazy fast though.
over the past few weeks, it's gotten worse, the walking and the fatigue. she's been sleeping a lot.
when we went to the doctor 2 weeks ago he prescribed Provigil to help her to stay awake during the day.
when we went to pick it up it was $380.23 --- the pharmacy said they were going to contact the doctor and the medicare to see if they could put it on the list to get it covered in gigglemom's plan. they didn't call. i wound up having to growl at them and then gigglemom wound up calling the doc herself and they growled at the pharmacy. sooooo, we didn't get the provigil until last week (for $30)
she's taken it. she took it on thursday and it kept her awake. she said it felt like when you're overtired and you can't fall asleep but you desperately want to. made her feel tired sicky. if that makes sense.
she only took one pill on friday (it says to take one in the morning at around 9am... then another around 1pm) and didn't take any on saturday.
she took a pill today at 9am. wound up sleeping until about 2:30pm --- i made her some cereal and she was falling asleep in it almost. then she took another pill at about 3pm and promptly went back to bed. woke up around 5pm had one of those chicken cordon bleu bites that scalded her and then went back to sleep till around 12am. she stayed awake for half an hour (i made her eat more cereal and a banana) and now she's back in bed.
another thing that's screwy is her legs are swollen as heck. not as much as they were the other day - because the doctor we went to on tuesday prescribed her lasix (and a potassium pill) - i don't know if those are making her feel sick or not because she's just not right at the moment. and she's getting headaches and all that (i've been making her drink water too.)
i know the edema (swelling) is a symptom of the congestive heart failure...
one of the "new" things over the past few days though --- of course it wasn't happening when we were AT the doctor --- just started on friday... is a back ache --- in her upper left part of her back (personally, i'm ready to put my money down on it being the congestive heart failure thing... but i'd also like to cover my bet and add some cash to "lungs")
the backache is absolutely killing her. she can barely walk --- even less than before.
we were just talking about where her will and her living will are. and then she was saying how she has to get stuff with the house straightened out (mortgage, etc) so she "doesn't leave me in a mess"
i'm pretty much figuring that i will be left with about $100K in debt at this point unfortunately.
that's beside the point. we were talking about cremation and stuff (she had wanted to be buried... then over the summer my aunt and uncle had been talking about it and stuff and saying how they want to be cremated.) gigglemom is worried that the Roman Catholic church won't recognize cremation (but she's open to it.)
anyone out there know if the RC Church looks down on cremation????
yeah i know, it's a bit of a morbid post, huh? my apologies...
just a lot of "thinkin' stuff" going on right now.
she doesn't want to go to the doctor or hospital "yet". i told her that if she's not feeling better by tuesday we're going to the hospital (i say tuesday because we both want to vote... and we don't want an extra hillary vote to be trapped in the emergency room.)
so i've been rubbing her back and all that - feeding and watering gigglemom too.
how can i phrase all of this eloquently?
hmmmmm.... let's see... okay...
this frigging sucks.
UPDATE 2am: gigglemom just woke up (by the way i've been sleeping downstairs again recently so i can keep an eye on her) now i KNOW that she's feeling like shite because she sat up, took her ipap machine thing off (for sleep apnea) and then sat there with a low gutteral moan. knowing full well that she got up to get a cigarette, i took the opportunity to say "mom, go back to bed, i'll put a nicotine patch on you" --- normally she'd fight me for bringing those things up. but she weakly said "alright". crap. i mean it's good that she's not running out there for a cigarette, but oh so bad that she is too exhausted and in pain to go do so. (make sense?)
Whatchoosayin'?? (17 yapped)
So very sorry about your mom. It is very hard to be the caregiver. I know from experience. Please try to take some time for yourself. You won't be able to help your mom if you get down yourself. Best of the best.
Fran
Posted by fran | February 4, 2008 4:56 AM
Gigglechick...I am praying for you and Gigglemom. In all of your times of worry and helping Gigglemom please remember to take care of you...you are a great daughter and my heart just goes out to you.
Posted by Cynthia | February 4, 2008 6:24 AM
GC,
I really feel for you... this can't be easy to watch. My mom and aunt went through all of these same things with my grandmother YEARS before she passed, although gram did quit smoking after she was put on oxygen. She had congestive heart issues, diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, etc. etc. Lots of dr. appts, medications, rushing to the ER and all of that. Lots of worrying on all of our parts and a lot of paperwork and "growling" to the insurance company both before and after she passed. If I lived anywhere near you I'd offer to help out in some way but since I am about 1000 miles away, I'll just pray for you and for GM's health to improve...
Shannon
Detroit
Posted by Shannon | February 4, 2008 7:59 AM
GC--I, too, can speak from experience. It's difficult to be a caretaker to your parents, and you don't even have the option of having a sibling to help out. I know that your mom appreciates how well you are taking care of her, and I'm betting you learned how to do it by how well she took care of you. Do take breaks when you can and try to get some rest. Stress is hard on the body and can wear you down. You are both in my prayers!
Posted by Lori | February 4, 2008 8:13 AM
i'm sorry to hear about your mom amiga, i hope you get some time to unwind for yourself.
Posted by furiousball | February 4, 2008 10:06 AM
UGH! It's tough, huh? I am not catholic, but my mom converted about 8 years ago... she had always planned on being cremated, but the church does frown upon it so she will now be burried.
You are a good daughter, Erin. God is gonna bless you big time.
Posted by laura | February 4, 2008 10:31 AM
prayers for you and your mom erin
Posted by karen | February 4, 2008 11:12 AM
Hey GC,
Sounds like your living MY life (without the COPD, though) I've also been the single care giver for mom since my big bro passed away 11 years ago (he was 39). Talk to the docs about those compression hose for Gigglemom, they may help with the edema. Medicare should also pay for a "potty chair" for her since the docs put her on the lasix, and she moves kinda slow - there may be some "urgency" accidents. I don't mean to be so graphic, but when someone else has been there, it's nice to benefit from their experience. Looks like all those who have yapped are sending support and prayers your way as well. Talk to someone at the archdiocese, or your local parrish about the cremation, I don't think the Church is that against it anymore, but I could be wrong. Lots of prayers headed your way, take care!
P.S. enjoyed the commercial play-by-play! :^)
Posted by Carol | February 4, 2008 11:25 AM
I really have no advice as Ive never been in your situation and if I were I dont know if I could handle it quite like you, you're a srong person. But this is way too much for one person, dont be afraid to lean on family/friends thats what they are there for :) and us here of course, always here to listen....keeping you in my prayers.
Posted by Stacy | February 4, 2008 11:33 AM
Wow. I feel that anything I write will just be platitudes, but I still want to let you know how sorry I am to hear that gigglemom is so ill. I have been reading you long enough to remember when she used to post her own sassy little comments on your blog. I wish you didn't have to shoulder such a difficult situation all by yourself.
Sending out prayers and big hugs to both of you.
Posted by dana michelle | February 4, 2008 11:56 AM
my heart goes out to you...i'll be praying for both of you...wishing you the best...
Posted by Lilly | February 4, 2008 1:05 PM
I'm so sorry for you. I've been dealing with simiilar issues with the MIL and it feels like I am way too young to be dealing with a sick parent.
As for Catholic beliefs regarding cremation-- it used to be outright banned, but the ban was lifted in the 1960's. They used to require the funeral mass be conducted with the body and then the cremation takes place. But as near as I can tell, they don't require that anymore.
Its best to call a priest and ask...but I do know my MIL is about as Catholic as they come and she has explicitly said she wants to be cremated. I put her slightly below the Pope on the list of Catholic information sources when I have questions. So I'd say you are safe. But again, a call to a priest would be a good thing. I don't know if you or your mom are practicing Catholics or not, but I would bet that you will find some good support by talking to a priest whether its been a week or several decades since you've been to church.
Posted by Katie | February 4, 2008 1:13 PM
It really stinks how things go! Both of my parents are at this point other than no smoking which makes me happy not to worry about them burning the house down. When I am based near home I cook, clean, and do general things to help them and my sisters out. You may want to inquire about some insurance to help out afterwards. I learned the most after going and talking to home healthcare people and our county has a program to help out caregivers keep their family in the home.
It is tough at times but they put up with our crap, time to pay some back. Just when they get sick it is not like a kid, they sometimes just do not ever get better. That gets to me at times.
No cathys I know of get creamed. I think their peoples like them chunky style.
Be strong
Posted by Pete | February 4, 2008 2:10 PM
So sorry to hear of your situation. My prayers are with you both.
About the cremation - my BIL passed away in October, was cremated and had a Catholic funeral mass then buried in Arlington. The Priest had no problem about it at all.
Joyce
Posted by joyce | February 4, 2008 6:36 PM
GC - sounds like your mom might have fluid build-up in the lungs as a result of the CHF. And/or pneumonia with all that sleeping. Did the doc even test her for it?
Catholic church absolutely allows cremation these days. My aunt was very Catholic, died in December and was cremated.
Sending good thoughts -
Posted by Shamrock | February 4, 2008 6:54 PM
Hey Kid,
Hang in there, sorry I have not pinged you sooner and have not even been looking at your site. Rough stuff for mom...Ping me when you have time and let me know if you want me to tell my mom to go on by if she has not already.
K
Posted by pkev | February 4, 2008 9:58 PM
Loads of prayers and good karma being sent your way from Missouri. Listen to your friends hon, be sure to take care of you too!
Posted by Denise | February 5, 2008 2:32 PM