okay okay okay, i'm alive. thanks for the emails asking if i was okay (i appreciate the concern, but, i did only just post on saturday.)
saturday afternoon, gigglemom and i were supposed to go to my cousin matt's daughter's 2nd birthday.
friday night i had gone food shopping for what i had to make and also went shopping for a gift.
so, after i posted my shank diatribe on saturday morning, i made my Swiss Almond Dip (lots of swiss cheese. lots of almonds. there's more stuff in it and it frigging rocks)
the party started at 3pm and we left at about 3:20 (it takes a while for me to get gigglemom ready, iron her clothes, hook up a new O2 tank, put her shoes & socks on and also try to get myself ready... not to mention cook at the same time and load up the car)
so we were running a little late. gigglemom had googled the directions and we were off... and driving... and driving... and driving... pretty soon we saw a sign on route 70 that said pemberton. that was way past where we were supposed to go.
as it turned out, google had the name of the street (Lacey Road) while in "real life" there was no sign for that. it wound up being route 539 or something - and by the time we found it it was fricking 5pm. which, for those of you not swell at math, was 2 hours past when the party started.
and we were heading down the road when GM had a huge coughing fit. sometimes she's okay after one of them, but, other times she gets knocked for a loop and needs to lie down.
this was one of those times, so, after all that.... i, gigglemom and the cheese dip headed back home.
(i had the cheese dip for dinner. it was fantastic.)
yesterday, i got it in my head that i want to redesign this site (right now i will most likely start on the open mic section.)
the bee is in my bonnet because i have to update the mics all the time and i am way behind in doing so. i shouldn't be, but, hell, i'm doing it for free and whilst i am not complaining, it's not the first thing on my list of priorities.
sooooooooo... what i did was bought a book on asp.NET (yeah. i have no idea exactly the deal is with it, but i am going to read up. see if i can't wrap this noggin around it.)
if i can create the open mic form to populate automatically when folks submit them (or at least have it so all i need to do is approve them and then i don't have to format anything after that and everything falls into the right spot) it would be key.
as i said, i don't know anything about asp.net... so, i'm only assuming that if i teach myself this that it will help me with what i just mentioned.
in turn, with my site as a guinea pig, this will help me figure out how to get the calendars on my clients' site to populate and all that without me having to go in and change things up all the bloody time (right now i have to go in and manually do this stuff instead of having some dynamic doohickies working.)
i should probably take a class in asp.net, there's one that starts in may, but, i bought this 50 pound book on it at barnes & noble.
so... there. that's what i've been up to.
of course, if there are any asp.NET gurus out there that want to be my mentor..... **ahem**
oh har har. so, let's see... it was april fool's day and gigglemom loves the day (i'll regale you with april fool's pranks of yore another time)
PRANK ONE: i wake up. walk over to where GM is sleeping and notice that her CPAP machine (for sleep apnea) is pressing on her face to the point where she has a black eye (last summer GM had 2 black eyes from falling and hitting her head. don't know if i mentioned that or showed photos. will try to dig those up. horrible) anyway, i woke her up and told her to get the facemask off so that she wouldn't get more of a black eye... she's all "what?! black eye? huh?!!" and then i look at her and saw a frigging grin. eff. she frigging pulled a prank. how'd she get the black eye? graphite paper that she rubbed under her eye at 6am until she got the right shade.
PRANK TWO: i attempted to use my mouse on my laptop and it wasn't working. this was minor because i turned it over to push the button for it to connect (it's a wireless) and sneaky magee apparently put tape over the red lasery thing (i know that there's aa different word for that but it's late. i'm tired and there were more pranks.)
PRANK THREE: GM taped the lasery thing on the tv clicker so that it didn't work. again. minor. noticed it right away.
PRANK FOUR: i went out, grabbed breakfast and brought it back in and GM asked me to get her a soda (it's a normal occurrence) so i went into the fridge and got it. she was giggling and said "April Fools!" --- apparently i didn't get it because i don't really grip the fridge handle totally in full. but while i was out she had smeared pancake syrup on the back of the handle. APRIL FOOLS> yay. i had to clean it up.
PRANK FIVE: i walk into the bathroom, about to sit on the toilet and there is a huge chunk of poop on the front of the seat. fuck. i yell "There's poop on the seat!!! what the hell!? you didn't wipe all the way again!" then i yelled "What the? It's on the FRONT of the seat!" --- and i start having flashbacks to the beginning of february (those not in the know... go forth and search the archives during the first 2 weeks of this feb.) and i start gagging as i clean it up. she starts giggling "APRIL FOOLS!!!" --- she frigging smeared my dark chocolate & coconut candy all over the seat to simulate crap.
PRANK SIX: i bring home Outback take away and as i walk into the house, the doorknob has frigging moisturizer slathered on the underneath. funny. ha. yeah. APRIL FOOL!!!!
PRANK SEVEN: later: i go into the bathroom about an hour after dinner and i look into the toilet and i was like "are you okay? did you puke?!" and she was like "yes. i told you before" - i didn't hear her. but it was like shredded cheese and chunks of bread - which she hadn't eaten in about 3 days. "APRIL FOOL!!!" great, she just poured my $8 grated 4 cheeses into the toilet to simulate barf. oh. har. dee. har. har. i was this close to calling an ambulance between the poop and puke incident (since those prefaced the most recent hospital stay.)
so... right now it's april 2nd, so she can't do anymore.
let's just say that these pranks were pulled by a woman with COPD, Emphysema, Heart Failure, who can barely walk and breathe....
think about it....
you may get an idea as to how elaborate the April Fool's Day pranks were when i was growing up (i will let you in on the time when i was 6 years old and she had saved souring milk in the back of the fridge and poured it in my cereal before school one fateful 1977 morning)
in any event... i'm going to bed and sleeping with one eye open since it's still April Fool's Day in 4 more time zones.
UPDATE 1:32am!!!!!!!!!!!! i was laying back on the couch with the laptop on my, well, lap. with my right hand above my head just laying there sort of behind me. all of a sudden there's a huge pinch on my right hand ---- hurts!! i scream like a little girl because i thought it was a mouse or rat or something that bites and GM is there laughing. she pinched me with her rehabilitation picker-upper claw from her bed. she starts laughing... then coughing. heh. APRIL FOOLS sort of backfired on her with the coughing fit. but still, i had a farking heart attack.
Well, watching the news, I saw that there was a bit of a scuffle in Philly today between Barack Obama and a Philly fella who wanted a photograph with him. In a nutshell, Obama pretty much refused to take a photo with him and then after a while said fine, but that he wasn't going to smile... nice. pretty rude if you ask me. do you know how many photos he's going to have to take if he goes on to be the nominee or the President??? sheesh.
Anyway, it inspired me to whip up a design.... **click**
here's the video clip. you might need to sit through :15 or :30 seconds of an advert
so, a few weeks ago (on St. Patrick's Day to be exact) I was out and about and was chatting with one of the women who is on the parade committee with me. She asked if she could try to fix me up with her daughter-in-law's brother.
i gave her my card. she apparently passed it along to the fella and we'd been playing phone tag all week.
finally we spoke on the phone today (i am horrible on the phone - THANKS TO EMAIL and hiding behind it.) and he sounded pleasant and funny so, we plan on meeting tomorrow night for a pint or so.
he's from north jersey (yes. a benny. i know. i know.) but is coming down for some sort of family shindig during the day and so we set it up for 7pm tomorrow night.
what the hell, right? can't hurt.
trying to think of the last time i went out on an actual date (although, i guess i'm just considering this a meet-up) --- was it Shrub Boy? That CAN'T be. can it? yikes. really? he was a blind date as well... although, we'd seen photos of each other first (folks where i used to work had set us up)
no idea what he looks like except he said he has salt & pepper hair, a goatee and glasses.
i said i've got short hair, 5'6", no goatee and no glasses
i am supposed to "run" the Fool's Run tomorrow at 11am (we'll see. it might be rained out and i may be too much of a sloth.) tonight i have to pick up the shirt and stuff that comes with signing up
i also am supposed to head to the Belmar Parade Committee party from 12 - 3 tomorrow. but if i do the fool's run i won't be heading there (i will either be in the hospital or at O'Neill's for a pint or home)
i also had toyed with the idea of heading over to Princeton for the spring blog meetup but no can do.
i've got to figure out what to wear.
and yes. i will let you know how it goes, my fine feathered friends. i like his name. irish irish irish.
WELL, GUESS IT'S OKAY TO PRY HIS GUN AWAY FROM HIM
April 6, 2008
WELL, GUESS IT'S OKAY TO PRY HIS GUN AWAY FROM HIM
"And that completes my final report until we reach touchdown. We're now on full automatic, in the hands of the computers. I have tucked my crew in for the long sleep and I'll be joining them soon. In less than an hour, we'll finish our sixth month out of Cape Kennedy. Six months in deep space - by our time, that is. According to Dr. Haslein's theory of time, in a vehicle travelling nearly the speed of light, the Earth has aged nearly 700 years since we left it, while we've aged hardly at all. Maybe so. This much is probably true - the men who sent us on this journey are long since dead and gone. You who are reading me now are a different breed - I hope a better one. I leave the 20th century with no regrets. But one more thing - if anybody's listening, that is. Nothing scientific. It's purely personal. But seen from out here everything seems different. Time bends. Space is boundless. It squashes a man's ego. I feel lonely. That's about it. Tell me, though. Does man, that marvel of the universe, that glorious paradox who sent me to the stars, still make war against his brother? Keep his neighbor's children starving?" - PotA
okay. no apes in the house, but, Beri's been clawing at me every hour on the hour - she wanted food. she wanted to go out. she wanted me to just wake up.
i have a big day today attempting to fix gigglemom's pc because there was a virus on it (Virtumonde.dll and a lovely trojan virus, Troj/Virtum-gen ) and the other night i ran spysweeper on it. the quarantine failed.
then i ran ad-aware. no help.
i ran my security task manager... tried to remove the stuff.
ran HiJack This! nope.
i ran vundofix - nada.
then i ran SpyBot - Search & Destroy and it killed the virus! yay!!
BUT... it also killed GM's bookmarks on firefox ----- not to mention (but i will) it apparently told her machine to NOT ALLOW any websites that have advertising robots.
so now it's not even allowing her to view the local paper (app.com) or myspace or about a thousand other sites
she can't view them on firefox OR on IE. she can however get to them via aol, but that's not good.
maybe i'll sleep for another hour and then try to figure out what the hell is going on. (i wish i could just buy a new machine. hah.)
so, a couple of weeks ago i went to the accountant with my shoebox filled with papers.
he basically informed me that i am pretty much going to be screwed this year because of the fact my income consisted basically of 1099 forms and had no taxes taken out (nor did i save any $ to pay them)
we had thought that i could claim gigglemom as a dependent (i later found out that she'd made money with disability last year so she's not able to be a dependent. next year though, i can claim her. yay.)
so that day, when i got home from the tax guy, i'd emailed him her SS# and also told him about the income that she had and that i didn't think she was eligible. I also mentioned that i thought that i didn't hand him a W-2G form for when I won in Atlantic City.
I never heard back from him.
I probably should've called to check up on that email... i didn't.
The girl in the office called me today for my mom's SS# and I asked "he didn't get my email? I'd sent it that afternoon" --- she said "no." and then double checked. nope. nothing.
so i had to tell her that mom can't be my baby (*ahem* well, i mean dependent.) and how I won $4000 in Atlantic City.
so then i said "well, claiming her as a dependent would only mean a few hundred dollars right?"
she said "yes"
i said "well, i'm screwed anyway, so a few hundred dollars won't matter"
she said "pretty much"
great. it's confirmed. i am screeeeeeeeeeewed and going to be hooking soon to pay off my taxes. which, if i do that, it'll take me 40 years at $10 a pop.
anyway. the big thing i am worried about right now is the price of the accountant.
i had about four 1099 forms, then i had paid off credit card forms, the w-2g form, the had to go though my bank statements (i had highlighted the things though for them) -- i think they had originally said that simple straight-forward return would be about $150 (or $250. all i know it was lower than my HR Block BS that i had done last year that they effed up.)
i'm guessing that he's gonna charge me $650 for this. it's a guess. I'm hoping that I am guessing WAY too high.
I have a horrible feeling that I am going to owe like $17000
i'm guessing of course.
but in the meantime i'm going to take some Tums and feel sick.
thanks for the encouraging words about the taxman... wooo oooo oooo the tax maaaa-aaa-aaaaan.
we'll see. i'm hoping for the best. trying to prepare myself for the worst (it's like before i step on the scale, i try to guess my weight, but then guess about 2 or 3 pounds higher than i really think so that i'm not totally sickened once i see the actual results.)
on a brighter note, one of my guys that i've been doing small design things for over the past year asked me to send him a proposal to redesign the website that he has already (that someone else built) - so i have to send that next week. let's just say his name rhymes with Schmave Schmattell and it'd be a nice feather in my cap.
In the meantime, I've gotta finish up this one website for this other fella and I'm hoping over the next week or so I'll have that done.
i then moved it off the rug (that it's been on for the past 2 years) and onto the kitchen floor. shut it off for a few and then turned it back on.
okay. so i went back to the couch and started watching the teevee... 10 minutes later:
"BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!!!"
okay. so, there's a little blurb that says "if the amber light is on for more than 15 minutes, call the supply company immediately"
(i'd read that from the get-go, but gigglemom thinks the place is a mess... true. it is. but let's see, the last time she thought the place was too messy, she waited a week before she let the ambulance come get her.)
so, i called the medical supply place and they said they were going to page the respiratory therapist who would call me.
it's been 10 minutes.
i mean, i guess i could keep getting up every 5 to 10 minutes throughout the night whilst that thing freaks out.... but... i really don't want to.
anyway, gigglemom is sleeping right now (actually i turned the machine off, i probably should turn it back on)
if worse comes to worst we've got the portable tanks, but they only last between 1.5 and 2 hours. and she has a doctor's appointment on tuesday that we need 2 for. (she only has 8 portables total)
and yes, the place is a mess. i swear that since she came home the house deteriorated from the slightly picked up version i'd had when she was in the rehab.)
happy monday! i've gotta head up to my accountant and drop off my tax stuff and hand him a check and ask him about an extension.
i have a payment plan set up right now for the $5000 from 2006 (that stil burns me up. actually i might want to see if he can't check out the horror show that HR Block handed me --- i mean, i got money back last year but as it turns out, they jacked me up.
if i can get that $5000 knocked down, maybe that would be a good reason to see if he can take a gander.
i had to frigging deposit $600 (that i don't have) into my IRA before tomorrow. I am hoping that I have a check from cafepress.com (my shirts/buttons/etc will help me pay my taxes. it's insane! thank you campaign supporters who buy my stuff!!!!!)
let's just say i'm strapped till about April 30th. ugh. ugh. ugh.
i never got back to the blog to let y'all know that the dude came to the house with a new concentrator at 10:15pm.
GM is breathing fine and dandy...
well, fine and dandy enough for someone with COPD, Emphysema, Congestive Heart Failure and --- actually, i think that's it. Although I feel like she's got more wrong with her... but i'm drawing a blank.
okay... there's really no "bad" to this story (yet. anyway.)
the good.... here we go with Tax Talk...
I had to drive up to the accountant and pay him $200 for him doing my returns. But, I had glanced at the last page of the return and he had my "gambling winnings" as $7000
nun-uh. nada. no. nyet.
i had won $4000 on Christmas and had the W2G form regarding this - but hadn't given it to him (wound up telling one of his girls on thursday about it... and apparently she put the wrong numbers down.)
soooooo... when i saw him today i mentioned it and he said "hey that's a big difference!" and wound up crunching the numbers (sweet!!! i have a real "number cruncher"!!!) and it lopped off $500 from what I owe.
so instead of the $2329 that I thought I owed, I now owe $1859.
i added that onto the $5097 from 2006 when i called the IRS today to re-do the payment plan that i'd set up a couple of weeks ago.
i'm pretty happy. i know it's almost two grand that i owe for this year, but, i don't have that "holy shit, i am going to be in a world of financial hurt" sicky feeling that i've had for the past, oh, i dunno, 5 months.
A little background on the show... I've got a sister and she runs a charity called
"City Green" that builds gardens in wasted urban spaces. Brings the community together, makes people happy, real do-gooder stuff! But I'm a do-gooder too and I'm putting on a fund raising show for her at the Gotham Comedy Club next Thursday, April 24th at 8pm. All proceeds go her charity. Click here for info on tickets.
Tell your friends, buy some tickets and be a do-gooder too!
So, if you're in the area this Thursday, come to the benefit (it's $40 a ticket plus 2 item minimum) --- but reserve your tickets now!!!!
I went to the mailbox about 20 minutes ago. Basically, I was hoping to receive some checks in there. Nada.
But, there was an envelope addressed to The Bennett Family.
Okay, so since I am a Bennett, I opened it.
With Sympathy -
To The Bennett Family -
May it help in some small way to know that our thoughts are with you.
With Deepest Sympathy -
[Gigglemom's Doctor's Name and Practice]
Hmmmmm... so, I was in the car reading this, parked at the mailbox. So I rang home to GM to doublecheck that she was still alive.
Hell, I didn't want the doc to be a Psychic Surgeon.
Gigglemom IS overdue to get her blood levels tested, so, that might've just been a nudge sent to her in the mail to get into the office.
Anyway, I came home (I was out paying the water bill) - handed her the card. Told her to call to just make sure that they didn't delete her files, etc.
So she called up (used my "blood level" joke on them which got a laugh) --- there is another woman in town with the same name. GM's known about her for the past 12 years. Apparently, GM and the now deceased version of GM shared 2 doctors, the same pharmacy, the same bank, the same oxygen delivery place.
Of course, the now deceased version of GM lived on the other side of town in a swanky home near the river.
I'm hoping that she has a daughter named Erin that's named in the will.
anyway... happy ending to the story is that THIS gigglemom is okay and is sitting here eating a pint of Edy's Drumstick Ice Cream and breathing fine and dandy (with oxygen)
gee.... i just LOVED how Wright said -- and I quote:
"Some people thought that the Irish had a disease... Did you hear that O'Malley, O'Shaunessey, O'Reilly! They thought you were----- well, they might have been right about it (laughter break)"***
Yeah. really bringing folks together. (I wonder how Teddy Kennedy is feeling about him mocking him and his brother Jack... oh, and the Irish.)
[*** i know that the Irish WERE discriminated against. Real nice of him to basically say "yeah maybe they were right about the Irish being diseased."]
also, it kinda sounded like a really bad Def Comedy Jam with a hack comic doing the "White People clap all out of rhythm, and Black People clap like this... so show your white neighbor. White People talk like this and Black People talk like this" bit.
i HAD gone upstairs and slept on my bed for a couple of days and the backache (while it didn't completely go away) subsided...
but i went back to sleeping on the couch downstairs over the weekend through today... and i am pretty much crippled and about 97 years old.
as my dad calls it, i am "stove up"
** for those not in the know, i don't have health insurance... or the cashflow for a chiropractor (not that I enjoy going to chiropractors.) so a doctor is out of the question.
last week when I went to the CVS to get the Excedrin Back & Body pills I was in the "holy crap, I'm in pain" aisle... looking for back meds...
these dolts put ALL of the back pain medication on the BOTTOM shelf.
you should've seen me trying to bend with my knees and not fall over ---- i didn't fall, but, it wasn't pretty.
anyway that was over a week ago.
for a girl who doesn't take pain medication usually (i hate taking the tylenol/advil/etc) i finished off that bottle of 24 pills about 2 days ago.
now i'm about to die.
i feel like the lower half of my body is not listening to to the rest of me.... well, only because it's got a shooting pain of horrible lightning-death-knife thing stabbing me about 2 vertebrae above my tailbone.
whine whine whine whine.
all i want to do is lie down again... yet... i can't really walk up the stairs to my good bed. all i've got in my future is the crippling couch ready to suck me in and apparently while i sleep, it acts like a medieval torture device and twists my body until it's mangled.
man. i need to get more of those excedrin (which, by the way i DID say to the cashier kid that day "um... any reason why the back pain medicine is on the bottom shelf? is the store just trying to ensure that i'll have to come back for another bottle?"
the thought of walking out to my car to drive to the pharmacy is killing me.
car = 50 feet of hobbling pain away
pharmacy = 1.5 miles of pain-filled shifting/clutch/gas/brake pedals
bottle of rum = 10 feet of crawling to kitchen.
hey, it's a thought.
oh, and i'm not done with that one guy's website. i wound up being derailed yesterday by another client's stuff and had to focus on that. so i'll be working on the other site today and hope that i finish it by late late tonight or tomorrow.
and by that i mean i am laying on the couch with a heating pad on my back and about 4 Excedrin Back & Body pills in me.
watching American Idol. glad that David Cook is safe (yeah. i watch.)
Top Chef is in 9 minutes.
I should be finishing this one dude's website but maybe i will get cracking on it later tonight if i sit up again.
other than that...
oh, and about the weight loss, that's probably the main cause for the backache. i haven't been dieting or working out, so once i finish this website up, i will force myself to get back to the gym (even if i am crippled still)
been upset about one client over the past couple of days so i've been eating like a fucking freak.