oh har har. so, let's see... it was april fool's day and gigglemom loves the day (i'll regale you with april fool's pranks of yore another time)
today though...
• PRANK ONE: i wake up. walk over to where GM is sleeping and notice that her CPAP machine (for sleep apnea) is pressing on her face to the point where she has a black eye (last summer GM had 2 black eyes from falling and hitting her head. don't know if i mentioned that or showed photos. will try to dig those up. horrible) anyway, i woke her up and told her to get the facemask off so that she wouldn't get more of a black eye... she's all "what?! black eye? huh?!!" and then i look at her and saw a frigging grin. eff. she frigging pulled a prank. how'd she get the black eye? graphite paper that she rubbed under her eye at 6am until she got the right shade.
• PRANK TWO: i attempted to use my mouse on my laptop and it wasn't working. this was minor because i turned it over to push the button for it to connect (it's a wireless) and sneaky magee apparently put tape over the red lasery thing (i know that there's aa different word for that but it's late. i'm tired and there were more pranks.)
• PRANK THREE: GM taped the lasery thing on the tv clicker so that it didn't work. again. minor. noticed it right away.
• PRANK FOUR: i went out, grabbed breakfast and brought it back in and GM asked me to get her a soda (it's a normal occurrence) so i went into the fridge and got it. she was giggling and said "April Fools!" --- apparently i didn't get it because i don't really grip the fridge handle totally in full. but while i was out she had smeared pancake syrup on the back of the handle. APRIL FOOLS> yay. i had to clean it up.
• PRANK FIVE: i walk into the bathroom, about to sit on the toilet and there is a huge chunk of poop on the front of the seat. fuck. i yell "There's poop on the seat!!! what the hell!? you didn't wipe all the way again!" then i yelled "What the? It's on the FRONT of the seat!" --- and i start having flashbacks to the beginning of february (those not in the know... go forth and search the archives during the first 2 weeks of this feb.) and i start gagging as i clean it up. she starts giggling "APRIL FOOLS!!!" --- she frigging smeared my dark chocolate & coconut candy all over the seat to simulate crap.
• PRANK SIX: i bring home Outback take away and as i walk into the house, the doorknob has frigging moisturizer slathered on the underneath. funny. ha. yeah. APRIL FOOL!!!!
• PRANK SEVEN: later: i go into the bathroom about an hour after dinner and i look into the toilet and i was like "are you okay? did you puke?!" and she was like "yes. i told you before" - i didn't hear her. but it was like shredded cheese and chunks of bread - which she hadn't eaten in about 3 days. "APRIL FOOL!!!" great, she just poured my $8 grated 4 cheeses into the toilet to simulate barf. oh. har. dee. har. har. i was this close to calling an ambulance between the poop and puke incident (since those prefaced the most recent hospital stay.)
so... right now it's april 2nd, so she can't do anymore.
let's just say that these pranks were pulled by a woman with COPD, Emphysema, Heart Failure, who can barely walk and breathe....
think about it....
you may get an idea as to how elaborate the April Fool's Day pranks were when i was growing up (i will let you in on the time when i was 6 years old and she had saved souring milk in the back of the fridge and poured it in my cereal before school one fateful 1977 morning)
in any event... i'm going to bed and sleeping with one eye open since it's still April Fool's Day in 4 more time zones.
UPDATE 1:32am!!!!!!!!!!!! i was laying back on the couch with the laptop on my, well, lap. with my right hand above my head just laying there sort of behind me. all of a sudden there's a huge pinch on my right hand ---- hurts!! i scream like a little girl because i thought it was a mouse or rat or something that bites and GM is there laughing. she pinched me with her rehabilitation picker-upper claw from her bed. she starts laughing... then coughing. heh. APRIL FOOLS sort of backfired on her with the coughing fit. but still, i had a farking heart attack.
Whatchoosayin'?? (5 yapped)
OMG, lol! I don't have anything against a good April Fool's prank but I am glad it's you and not me, lol.
Posted by Denise | April 2, 2008 12:04 PM
Those are good! HA! I used to love April Fool's Day when I was younger but it seems to have faded for me in recent years. Although I never had any great ones, I did short sheet my mother about 6 years in a row and she just never saw it coming...
This year I did manage to get my daughter. About 5 years ago when she still lived at home, I found a tiny kitten outside crying in the morning before leaving for work. I DID NOT want to keep this kitten for fear of how long I would be stuck with it. SOOOOOO.... my daughter says "I'll take care of it mom"! And I said "You can't have a kitten in that pig-sty room of yours, you wouldn't even find the thing in there".
I did bring it to the vet the day I found it because I was worried about it. The thing weighed 4 oz. and had to be bottle fed kitten formula every few hours. A teenage girl getting up in the middle of the night to feed a kitten? Yeah right.
So she says "If I clean my room can I keep her"? And I gave in. And so now daughter is living on her own and I am stuck with Mollie.
So I called her yesterday and said I had to bring Mollie to the vet and found out she was pregnant.
And she fell for it!
The cat is fixed and declawed and would be absolutely terrified of getting outside!
Took her about 20 minutes to figure it out and call me back, lol.
Posted by Julie | April 2, 2008 12:38 PM
HAHAHAHAHHA!! Too effing funny! Good for GiggleMom! LOL :D oh you know you love it too, even though you act as if not, lmao! ;p
Posted by SusanB | April 2, 2008 1:24 PM
GM is a sassy one, isn't she! She's apparently feeling a great deal better than a month ago, which is great to hear.
At least she didn't saran-wrap your new terlet!
8^}
P.S. Please DO post about the April Fools' past. I'm sure all your audience would love to read about them!
Posted by dana michelle | April 2, 2008 2:50 PM
Gone are the days of Itching Powder, the Joy Buzzer, Whoopie Cushions and, my personal favorite, the Snake in the Jar - the practical joke staples of GM's era. Good thing that Taser she ordered a few weeks ago was still on back order...
Guy Fawkes Day at your house must be a hoot.
So what did you do with the cheese that was in the toilet? (Prank seven)
Posted by Nick | April 4, 2008 5:11 PM