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July 20, 2008 7:45 AM

before i trek outta here for the day (i've gotta get showered and then head over to get the brownies to take to aunt toni's before picking cathy up)

anyway... i know i've railed on gigglemom for the past week pretty good.

i've been angry about the smoking and - more than not - have been scared of her dying.

so... that said, i want you to know that when i get scared (and/or riled up) i tend to sass. and i've sassed her on here.

now, here's the skinny, she's a good egg... albeit a smoky one.

so, i really shouldn't be writing in a way that makes it seem like i hate her - i'm just frustrated and frightened. got it?

also, there's no way i'm able to get a home health aide... nor will i ever be shoving her into a nursing home (although, i do enjoy channeling Bea Arthur and saying "Shady Pines, Ma! Shady Pines!")

We fight like banshees, but, we always smooth it over... I love her dearly, so, don't get the wrong idea when I'm posting quips about "arsenic".

Anyway, that said, i've gotta get ready to head out and about.

***and yes... she read the past week's posts and growled at me. Thus, the apology. (gigglemom I love thee. *mwah* i'm just a scared kid.)


Welcome to the YapFest (6 yapped)

Michelle13 yapped on July 20, 2008 10:58 AM

Erin, you are just stressed out and venting. We all have been there and we understand. Hey, that's what we are here for! :)

Susan yapped on July 20, 2008 11:53 AM

Ditto. We know it's the nerves kicking in and you are scared for GM. You would not go through what you have been through if you didn't love her. And we love GM and want her healthy too (HEAR THAT GM?) :D I do think you need some kind of outside help with GM though... so that she will listen to reasoning from an outside voice and give you a sometimes needed break... and hey - we are all not perfect, she needs a break from you too as well. Love you both -


karen yapped on July 20, 2008 12:07 PM

thanks susan. thats what i was trying to say. i certainly didnt mean to offend you with my suggestion. many clients make the choice themselves to get help. its not like you treating them like a baby or putting them out to pasture or something. your blog has made me laugh thru the years during some dark moods and cheered me up many a time. any long time reader i am sure feels an attachment of sorts to your life. i only wanted to offer something back to you. i dont think anyone who knows about you thru this blog thinks you hate her and knows you were merely venting. again my best wishes to you both.

gigglechick yapped on July 20, 2008 4:39 PM

thanks! not offended!

Rick O yapped on July 20, 2008 9:55 PM

Well at least one of you has admitted that you are afraid. I'm no "Dr Phil" but I am part werewolf & I know fear when I smell it ... and GC Hun ... I can smell it all the way up here in Canada.

Your scared & she probably is too ... I love you both. Try to be good to each other; Big Hugs!

SusanB yapped on July 21, 2008 12:57 PM

Oh heck, we know you love your mom and you are just venting! I do it all the time....in fact today on my blog, I said that one of my kids was going to die.....lol. Of course I don't mean it...I was just venting too!

This is a scary time with your mom, and you can't help but think about the end is coming near....it's only human, and normal. But, to have to say it outloud or confirm it in writing can be very difficult. Gigglemom loves you and you have to realize it is very hard for her to quit smoking. She may have already decided what's the use in quitting now? Maybe she figures, hell....I have lived this long smoking and the time is near...why quit now? If she chooses to continue smoking, just let her, its her decision Erin. I know you are worrying and hoping and praying that things were different. Yes, you have to deal with all of this too, I know. {{hugs}} I am sorry that you are all alone in this with no siblings to help. I guess maybe the best thing to do is for the both of you to have a frank discussion about what is to come. Get everything figured out and have a plan.

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