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I ALMOST FORGOT...
September 1, 2008

I ALMOST FORGOT...

don't forget to Rabbit Rabbit first thing in the morning

change of plans
September 2, 2008

change of plans

i was supposed to go out tonight but plans were canceled. no big deal.

it's beautiful out right now, think i'm going to head to the boardwalk and walk for a while.

LET'S SEE... what story do i lead with?

LET'S SEE... what story do i lead with?

hmmmmmm...

should i start with the anecdote about how I was supposed to go out tonight with Michael (yeah. no more TB™ or whatever.) and mention how he called me at 1pm to cancel and tell me that he wants to be "alone" and that going out for pizza for the first time in 3 weeks was "too much of a commitment" and that he doesn't want a relationship and that he just wants to be friends?

-----

should i mention that i made my mind up that i wasn't going to call or text him for a while - even though he has my effing tupperware (from the chicken dumpling soup i made for him when he had effing strep) and has 4 or so of my dvds?

-----

should i mention the fact that i've been upset about that whole thing all bloody day and so, i laced up my sneakers (i refuse to call them athletic shoes.) and went to Spring Lake Boardwalk where i jog/walked 4.0 miles. then at the 3.5 mile point i ran into my friend Ellen from high school, her fella, Art, their son Wyatt and her dad who I haven't seen in over 20 years? or that we're planning on going out for beverages at some point soon?

-----

should i mention how when i was walking and trying to clear my head and get my endorphins and good thoughts back on track while looking at the ocean, I had a chat with God and said "hey, can you send me some sort of inspiration for this book i want to write? or at least give me the strength to start writing it for real?"

-----

should i mention that after the walk, i was heading down the street from my house to Atlanta Bread to pick up dinner for gigglemom and myself... but stopped into Barnes & Noble to pick up a couple of journals (with inspirational sayings on the covers) so that I could start purging thoughts and write "The Book"?

-----

should i mention how after I paid and was walking out of B&N, in the foyer of the bookstore, there was Michael (yes. THAT michael) looking at the bargain books?

-----


should i mention that i said "You've got to be effing kidding me." and he said "What are the odds? How are you?" and I said "Fine"... walked out the door to my car and then sat there crying for 10 minutes on the phone to my mom?

-----

should i also mention that I went back in the bookstore (in my jog/walk attire - complete with bandana) and walked up to Michael and we went outside to talk?

-----

should i mention that I wound up fucking crying in front of him and telling him that I haven't felt as comfortable talking to anyone in 10 years as i have with him?

-----

should i mention that he stuck to his effing guns and still said the friend thing and blah blah blah "i'm a loner, Dottie, a rebel" speech... also thrown in was the Costanza "it's not you, it's me" ---- (and he's damned right, it's him. not me) Should I mention that?

-----

should i mention that the conversation ended, I wound up crying in my car, driving erratically and had to pull over on the side of the road because i was upset and shaking so much?

-----

should i mention how when I got home, I hugged gigglemom and cried for a good 2 minutes like a little girl?


NOPE! EFF ALL OF THAT!!!!


THIS IS THE STORY I AM


LEADING WITH TONIGHT!!!!


I got a phone call from Norm MacDonald tonight and I'm going to be designing his new website and designing his myspace profile!!!!





HOW FUCKING COOL IS HE!!!??? AND HOW EFFING COOL AM I!!!!!???


yeah. take that.

gigglechick in the house. (or should i mention it as "gigglechick in da howwwwze!")



TIRED!
September 3, 2008

TIRED!

nice that to research a client (even though I know 90% of his stuff) i had to stay up till 3am watching clips. now i have to go out and purchase Dirty Work and watch that later today.

OOOOOOOOOO BARRACUDA!!!

OOOOOOOOOO BARRACUDA!!!

holy smokes!

Continue reading "OOOOOOOOOO BARRACUDA!!!" »

hopefully, the 9th time's the charm...
September 5, 2008

hopefully, the 9th time's the charm...

well...

Continue reading "hopefully, the 9th time's the charm..." »

CAN YOU NAME THE MOVIE THIS IS A PARODY OF?
September 6, 2008

CAN YOU NAME THE MOVIE THIS IS A PARODY OF?

this clip... (i know the answer!!!! )

POST YOUR GUESSES BELOW!!

Continue reading "CAN YOU NAME THE MOVIE THIS IS A PARODY OF?" »

I DON'T LIKE IKE...

I DON'T LIKE IKE...

my aunt called here on friday morning...

Continue reading "I DON'T LIKE IKE..." »

Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur
September 7, 2008

Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur

went to church. was planning on heading to the 10:30 mass, was tired as heck, so, wound up going to the noon one - which was okay, but different than the 10:30 one which is the singing one.

the noon one is half in Latin.

which means, I half understand it.

3 MILES WHILE WALKING ON THE BOARDWALK

3 MILES WHILE WALKING ON THE BOARDWALK

well, tonight I went to the Spring Lake Boardwalk to go for a walk.

what did i see?

• A Break Up
• A Proposal
• A Dead Body
• A Wedding Portrait
• An Un-Break-Up

ummmmm... come again? Dead Body?!

Continue reading "3 MILES WHILE WALKING ON THE BOARDWALK" »

NO DEAD BODIES TODAY
September 8, 2008

NO DEAD BODIES TODAY

... well, none that i've seen, anyway.

worked on my daily updates for folks today and then my cousin michael popped over this afternoon.

i had to take photos of his Harley because he wants to sell it.

anyone in NJ want to buy a:

1996 - Harley Davidson 1200 (XLH) Sportster
13,500 miles
Joker Mirrors
Bullet Blinkers
Gel Seat
Belt Drive
Front & Back Disk Brakes
Many Extras
asking $5500

I have no idea what half this crap means. I'm merely passing the info onto you....

CLICK THE THUMBNAILS FOR DETAILED IMAGES

1996 HARLEY DAVIDSON FOR SALE
1996 HARLEY DAVIDSON FOR SALE1996 HARLEY DAVIDSON FOR SALE

HERE IS A BATCH OF ALL THE PHOTOS!!!

PINK. CURL. CHIP.

PINK. CURL. CHIP.

while i had the camera out, i also snapped a few things in the backyard.

PINK.

CURL.

CHIP & CHIP

*WAAAAAA-CHOOOOOOO!*
September 9, 2008

*WAAAAAA-CHOOOOOOO!*

frigging allergies.

that is all.


wait.... that's NOT all. i guess, i am addicted to "mousehunt" as well. (by the way, you need to be on facebook to be able to view the mousehunt link)


THAT is all.


(sort of.)


no... wait. THAT'S not all...

I watch Big Brother (yeah. yeah. i know *hanging my head in shame*) and am a little miffed over the eviction of Keesha. I have the live feeds and watched the whole thing transpire throughout the past day. sad.


THAT really is all!

DANG. I FORGOT TO GET LOTTERY TICKETS
September 10, 2008

DANG. I FORGOT TO GET LOTTERY TICKETS

There is only one success -
to be able to spend your life in your own way.

-- Christopher Darlington Morley (1890-1957)

been writing a bit this past week - not to the extent that i had thought i would (in those "inspirational journals") because i've been swamped like mad with work. and of course, the paying gigs come before the side-novel-writing-no-cash thing.

took a benedryl last night at bedtime and passed out. man alive, you (or at least, I do...) wake up with cotton mouth and a groggy almost-hangover after taking those (i only took one. because a few weeks ago when i bought these dang allergy meds, i took 2 and passed out for about 9 hours during the day. not good.

i should probably check my phone to make sure i wasn't Anti-Histamine Dialing anyone.

Y-Y-You're still a frog...

Y-Y-You're still a frog...

Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy!

IX.XI
September 11, 2008

IX.XI

that day. this blog.

that week. this blog.

photos from 09.15.01 in NYC

deja vu

deja vu

funnily enough, as i was reading "that week. this blog" (that i'd linked to in the previous post), i read an entry from September 9th, 2001:

12:46 PM | just made it back from church about 20 minutes ago... good mass... what!? erin goes to church?! yep. i do. roman catholic... i try to get there as often as possible, i am a bit lax about it though, i must admit... anyway today the priest began speaking about starting and finishing a project even if you are fearful that you are not prepared or aren't qualified to do it... he said to "just do it" - see my priest quotes nike ads and marvin gaye... so, i am hunkering down and writing & illustrating this darned children's book if it kills me...


eh... yeah.. 7 years later. maybe time to start & finish.

BABY'S GOT BACK.... PAIN

BABY'S GOT BACK.... PAIN

let's see... what's been going on today?

well, i sneezed and threw out my back (for the umpteenth time. fantastic.) i mean, really... WHY the hell does my body do this?

i learned how to "sneeze properly" back in 1987 - 89 when I had to go to "Back & Neck School" after my car accident (whiplash. knee surgery. achy horridness. October 1, 1987)

see, Back & Neck School (not to be confused with Rodney Dangerfield's "Back to School" with the Triple Lindy) was part of Physical Therapy.

I had to wear a lower back brace for a year - (not like Judy Blume's "Deenie") - but they said that my lower back would pretty much give me grief for the rest of my life. THANK YOU, TOOL WHO DROVE THROUGH THE STOP SIGN --- granted, my backaches aren't as bad as my friend Lisa who had a shattered kidney from the accident.

anyway... where was i? oh, that's right... whining about how i sneezed my back out.

thank you allergies! thanks spine!

i had wanted to walk on the boardwalk this evening too.

of course, that actually was shot out the window even with the backache, because my cousin Michael popped over. I have to rewrite and print up his resume and give it to him tomorrow (it's his birthday. I also got him a front page advert on next Thursday's Coast Star to try and sell his Harley... )

he's a good egg. just lost his job 2 weeks ago and there's no work out there. he's basically looking for anything...

i would hire him - if i could - but, the fella doesn't know computers ---- he needed me to email a company the other night and read me the email address as -------- "some weird curly A and then some sort of y-a-h-o-o-period-c-o-m"

bless his heart. hard working guy though.

anyway... trying to help him out.

just ordered some weird sammiches from Dominos. I'm not even hungry and the smell is making me ill. Although Beri is freaking out and basically barking "GIVE ME THE CHICKEN PARM!!!!"

i don't even feel like moving. stupid back.

cross your fingers that it feels better tomorrow. I've gone from a few hours of having a bad back to being doubled over for 3 weeks with one (i think i also inherited my Dad's back issues... well, coupled with the car accident injury)

i think I am procrastinating about eating this unholy food right now. gotta get back on track with WW - it's been a couple of weeks because i just haven't felt like dealing with anything.

that said... let me attempt to deal with this "thick and crispy artisan bread, melted cheese and hearty meats piled high with flavor"


even that's bothering me.

stupid back.

it's more like "Hurricane YIKES!"
September 12, 2008

it's more like "Hurricane YIKES!"

2850956575_bb46e6c4ee.jpg

man oh man, i hope all y'all who live down near Galveston and the surrounding areas are NOT effing reading this from your living room. get out.

scary. allllllllthouuuuuuuugh.... it's those crazy ass hurricanes that give us wonderful clips such as Geraldo wiping out.

in the meantime...

enjoy Paul Sanchez and Cowboy Mouth singing Hurricane Party:


COWBOY MOUTH is playing at BB Kings in NYC next thursday (sept. 18) --- I haven't seen them since Paul left the band -- debating whether or not to head up there. They may have sold out already (they usually do.)

DO OR DO NOT THERE IS NO TRY - YOGA
September 13, 2008

DO OR DO NOT THERE IS NO TRY - YOGA

i need to find some sort of yoga studio around here (preferably one that will not cost a twisted up arm and a flexible leg.)

the gym (okay, my non-existant gym still since it's still being fixed from the fire... should be done by november "they" say) anyway, my gym has a couple of yoga-esque classes, but, there's effing techno music blasting throughout it.

i USED to go to a place up in Rutherford - when i lived up north - and it was called Yoga Bums -- think it's closed now. not that i'd be trekking up to frigging Rutherford to stretch.

But i dug that place.

Actually, yoga - when I did it - was one of the most strenuous, sweaty, productive things my body's ever done. My arms were in great shape. Then I quit...

Just did a little googling... there seems to be a place on main street in manasquan --- i should check it out. Margo's Yoga Flow.

The "Core Flow" classes are at 9:30am - 11am on Fridays.

Maybe I'll give them a jingle and see what the skinny is there. Then work up to the "spicy" variation of "Vinyasa Flow" (really. it said spicy.)

Wouldn't mind attempting the "Dharma Flow with Jeff" class --- first off, because it's in the evening --- secondly, it mentions "reintigrating the flow of prana through the spinal column. Includes postures, breathing, relaxation, meditation & philosophy."

Spinal Column. get that prana flowing! Is that sort of like Ben Gay or Excedrin Back & Body flowing through the spine???!!!

I must admit, whenever I see the word "prana" I think of "prawn" and then I start thinking of shrimp and now I want to go to the Union Landing for the raw bar. dammit. (I was going to GO to the Irish Festival in Sea Girt today, but, seeing as I am whining, bitching and moaning about the back, I am pretty much just going to do some errands - laundry - and relax... hopefully.)


hmmmmmmm... just read where their studio is... right near the train station. well, that's not as bad as techno music (heck, i used to live half a block from the train station/tracks. it IS relaxing when you hear the train go by... after a while.)

then again, i could say screw the yoga and go to Senseabilities (spelled correctly.) Last year for GM's birthday, I'd given her a $250 gift certificate to the place --- basically so she'd get the smoking cessation hypnosis. She hasn't gone. Right now, we don't think they'd take her in for a massage either with her health issues. So... I am toying with going.

(they also have an acupuncturist.......)

ah, i just remembered that i have to go to the stinking food store today because gigglemom and i are heading to Aunt Toni & Uncle Franky's tomorrow for the "Hoedown" (barbecue) and GM said that she'd bring peach cobbler, cherry cobbler, some sort of cornbread dish and some other thing.

now, when she says to others that "she" will make the stuff, that means that I WILL be the one whipping up these concoctions.

yay. this food will be made with love pain.

not cookin', good lookin'

not cookin', good lookin'

well, after my whining, kvetching and general all-around cripplefest, i basically asked gigglemom what i didn't need to make... and what i could quickly run somewhere to buy.

i am now heading to Hinck's Turkey to get 2 Peach Praline pies, 1 Apple Caramel Walnut pie and 1 Cherry Pie... as well as 24 hunks of Cornbread

I know, I know... it'd be better to make the stuff... but, not if my body buckles in the middle of throwing a pie (or cobbler, as it were) in the oven.

I'd rather spend the cash for the already-made goods.

I just remember at Easter when GM offered my cooking services up

I had to bake the Chocolate Rum Cake and the Fruit Cocktail Cake (and the effing icing for the Fruit Cocktail Cake the icing for the Chocolate Rum Cake wouldn't stiffen properly *that's what she said* and it took 1 hour to get the stupid confectioner's sugar to thicken... and then they didn't refridge it when we got there so the icing looked like hell after a while)

DOES THIS COUNT AS GOING TO MASS?

DOES THIS COUNT AS GOING TO MASS?


(i'm pretty sure God is going to make my back hurt even worse now after posting this.)

... AND I CAN SEE RUSSIA FROM MY HOUSE!
September 14, 2008

... AND I CAN SEE RUSSIA FROM MY HOUSE!

*ahem* you Fantasy FB Folks know who you are.

*ahem* you Fantasy FB Folks know who you are.

Continue reading "*ahem* you Fantasy FB Folks know who you are." »

well... false alarm

well... false alarm

last night i had sneezed and for 20 minutes post-ahchooooo, my back felt 65% better.

then i went to bed and when i woke up, i was a 90 year old woman again with the back issue

Continue reading "well... false alarm" »

BACK FROM THE HOEDOWN!

BACK FROM THE HOEDOWN!

lotsa ribs, corn, pie, homemade ice cream... and good times with folks!

HOEDOWN - SEPT 2008 HOEDOWN - SEPT 2008

CLICK HERE FOR MORE PHOTOS!!!

trigger points!
September 15, 2008

trigger points!

well, i'm going to have a neuromuscular therapy massage done today at noon.

from what i've googled, it's most likely not going to be a relaxing (in the traditional sense) type of massage.

wikipedia's definition
Senseabilities
Neuromuscular Therapy

I AM NOT WORRIED ABOUT THE ECONOMY...

I AM NOT WORRIED ABOUT THE ECONOMY...

because President Bush just held a press conference, said they're trying to work through the "disruptions" and that we're now fighting Malaria and Tropical Diseases.

well... I don't know about you, but, I feel much better.


SkeeterGate

ENJOY THIS EARWHIG
September 16, 2008

ENJOY THIS EARWHIG

i have been singing the ditty below all night...

Continue reading "ENJOY THIS EARWHIG" »

HOCKEY MOMS AGAINST PALIN

HOCKEY MOMS AGAINST PALIN

Apparently, it's silly video clip week here on gigglechick.com!

I WANT & NEED THIS
September 17, 2008

I WANT & NEED THIS

the 24HR Fitness Bodybugg

http://www.24hourfitness.com/training/bodybugg/


(yes. i watched the season premiere of the Biggest Loser tonight... also set the alarm for 7:45am to go walk. back still hurts, but, not as horrid as it had. Now I think i am sore mainly from the massage yesterday.)

yes, i still have the nike+ipod thing. i need to charge my ipod and also figure out why the shoe bug isn't alive.

ah, of course, i DO have this thing... the Omron HJ-720ITC Pocket Pedometer with Advanced Omron Health Management Software...

i'm charging it right now and reinstalled it on my laptop.

pedometer-o-phile

pedometer-o-phile

went out this morning and walked on Spring Lake Boardwalk... remember how i said i was setting the alarm for 7:45am? yeah, well, i didn't hear it. wound up waking up at 8:30 and then checked the pedometer --- i thought it was charging because last night when i had it hooked up to the laptop, it had power.

alas, when I unplugged it this A.M. it was dead. so i went to cvs and bought an eyeglass screwdriver and a lithium battery. it did the trick.

sooooo, off i went to SL Boards and because of still moving a little gingerly because of my back, i didn't want to overdo it.

I walked from the south end up to the Essex & Sussex Hotel (it's no longer a hotel, but, i grew up knowing it as one.) and that's 0.5 miles the one way... so i turned around and made it the half mile back and then did a bunch of stretches and all that.

felt good. didn't go crazy. the body wasn't saying "what the eff?" but i still got a workout. did the mile in 18 minutes --- not bad for having a uncooperative lower torso.

here are the stats:

STEPS : 2490
AEROBIC STEPS : 2082
AEROBIC WALKING TIME : 18 MINUTES
CALORIES BURNED : 123
DISTANCE : 1.10 MILES
FAT BURNED : 7.2

WHAT. IS. GOING. ON?
September 18, 2008

WHAT. IS. GOING. ON?

well, i have the alarm ready to yell at me at 7:45am (again.)

we'll see if i hear it. planning on heading to the boardwalk again. it's been a great de-stresser. of course, i've been working on updating schedules all day and sending out info about upcoming shows and onsales all day.

also, my cousin michael was over here for a few hours helping out around the house (there's stuff here that he's helping to fix up --- stuff that i can't do alone.)

so that's been great. not to sound like a lunatic, but, 2 weeks ago, i was at church and lit a candle and asked for help around the house because everything has gotten overwhelming and out of hand. and over the past week, michael's been coming around because he needed help with some stuff --- so it's one of those "one hand washes the other" sort of thing - and so far it's working out fine.

anyway... i needed to take a break from doing the scheduling for the club tonight because i need to be "in the zone" when i update these 25 pages of ticketing and schedules and line-ups. it's a pain in the ass, actually.

so, i plan on doing the walking, doing a lot more stretching and then coming home to crank out the last few pages (if i keep doing them whilst tired, there's a chance of error.)

anyway... speaking of being tired... it's hay-hitting time!

the goal for thursday's walk is 1.50 miles. (i really need to focus on stretching out my hip flexors - they've been a little tight.)

oh and i had to get this video ready for uploading and all that.

hip flexors are still stiff

hip flexors are still stiff

i didn't hear the alarm this morning (something about going to sleep at 3am and setting alarms for 7:45am makes me deaf apparently)

woke up at 9am --- have too much work to finish at the moment (and keep getting more thrown at me - which i am NOT complaining about. would rather have more than less... unless i win the lottery.)

didn't go walking --- will try to later. Cousin Michael is supposed to come over to help with the house, so, i will most likely be hanging out here and doing stuff.

Finished up the one club's schedule and now am onto the next club's October stuff. Speaking of which, I need to finish that.

DOUBLE TROUBLE

DOUBLE TROUBLE

went to the boardwalk and walked. had a goal of 1.5 miles today --- since i'd walked 1mile yesterday.


STEPS : 4742
AEROBIC STEPS : 4314
AEROBIC WALKING TIME : 37 MINUTES
CALORIES BURNED : 226
DISTANCE : 2.09 MILES
FAT BURNED : 14.7

sooooooooooooooo, as you can see, i kinda doubled my stats from yesterday... the first leg of the walk was crazy since it was INTO the wind... the second half was awesome (or should i say "it was a breeze"?) since the wind was at my back and it was much better.

the amount of people walking/running/biking/sitting on the boardwalk during the 2 o'clock hour amazes me.

you can take the rum out of the fruit cake, but you've still got a fruit cake!
September 19, 2008

you can take the rum out of the fruit cake, but you've still got a fruit cake!

so... how shall i put this? there were red flags throughout the entire summer.

starting with the person in question BEING flagged TWICE at an open bar... the person in question called me the next day to apologize to me and told me he'd stopped drinking that night.

stopped drinking - but without being part of a recovery program like AA.

stopped drinking, but, still drank Becks Non-Alcoholic Beer (or similar).

stopped drinking - but still smoked The Pot.

stopped drinking and would tell me how his friends mocked him about not drinking - yet, i was there on the phone saying "don't listen to them, you're doing great" or in person drinking Pellegrino right there with him and having a nice sober evening.

Hi... My name is Erin and I cared for a Dry Drunk.

This term is defined as a person who is still very angry, immature, overreactive, over-sensitive; someone who doesn't take responsibility even after being sober, who still indulges in other addictions with the rationalization that even though they're not drinking, it's okay to do these other things. (Source).

This is MY blog and this is part of MY personal life... it has affected ME and that is why i am writing about it.

When I first got involved with the person in question (who had some initials throughout the summer, but, we'll just call him Dry Drunk™ or DD™ now) I had a few people who've known him throughout the past 28 years say to me "oh, man, just be careful because he's got issues"


wwwwonderful.


Of course, I poo-poo'ed this and said "oh, but, he said he stopped drinking after the shindig and we've been talking on the phone for 2 to 5 hours every night, he's actually really sweet"

and they replied "well. okay. but. just be careful"

instead, i wasn't careful. i'd unwrapped the ace bandages from my heart, chipped off the Bondo spot putty and Krazy Glue that was holding the left ventricle together and stripped off the 12 Band-Aids that were keeping it attached to the aorta. my heart was sitting there in all of it's glory, exposed, nekkid and about to get it's ass handed to it.

when laying in bed and my stomach growled and he said "it's like the sound of angels... oh my god what am i saying? what am i, in love?"

sure. that took a band-aid off the right ventricle.

when he quickly drove over to get me when my tire blew out... another gauze pad came off.


From an article about Dry Drunks...

First comes the denial -- it's really not that big a deal, I've always said I could quit anytime -- and then the anger and depression when they realize just how much that had come to depend on their old friend alcohol.

Many make it through the process to the final stage -- accepting the loss, learning and growing through the experience, and moving on.

Some never make it. It's sad to see them, sometimes many years later, still stuck in their anger, bitterness, and resentment at having to make the change in their lives. They haven't had a drink in years, but they have also never had a "sober" day.

You even see them in the 12-step rooms... been in the program for years and years and their lives seem to be a constant unmanageable struggle. All those years and they have no more of a spiritual awakening than they did the first time they walked into the room.

"Dry Drunk" has been described as "A condition of returning to one's old alcoholic thinking and behavior without actually having taken a drink."


Now, I only saw the DD™ schnockkered the night of the shindig when he was flagged twice. So, I don't really know what his "old alcoholic thinking" was prior to us hanging out... but.. i am pretty sure it wasn't pleasant.

Everything had been going wwwwwonderfully during the month of July - then all of a sudden he pulled back and became really distant. sure, he would call and complain about work and life - never really asking me how i was doing or listening to me about my life/work/etc. --- and for some reason i was fine with that. (in hindsight, not really, but i liked hearing from him and trying to make him laugh...) but something was extremely different and strained. and that was the frustrating part of things. I mean, I could understand if there was a huge blow-up fight or if we didn't have chemistry... but, for something to fail all of a sudden without any moment to pinpoint it on... it just made my head spin.

According to this recovery site, the dry drunk syndrome conditions can lead to the following:

a) Mood swings, which are unrelated to the circumstances to which one tries to link them. Alcoholics zero in on what they want others to think is the cause of the mood swing, when it isn't that at all. More often than not it is something much deeper than the reason given. Inversely it can also be something totally insignificant with no substance at all (e.g. the sugar is too sweet or the donut is too round). Any excuse will do.

b) Unable to demonstrate emotions freely, naturally and without constraint. No emotional spontaneity, no genuine spark.

c) Introspection. A very healthy thing to do is difficult if not impossible for the "dry drunk". It means to look inward to one's examining each thought and desire, which is linked directly to one's attitude.

d) Detachment. Become aloof, display indifference, don't care one way or the other, no special likes or dislikes, they withdraw.

e) Self-absorption- with a tendency to call attention to whatever they have attained. Narcissism which is quite simply self-love. They become pompous asses.

f) The inability to appreciate or enjoy themselves - nothing satisfies.

g) Evidence of disorganization, is easily distracted, complains of boredom, and nothing seems to fit.

h) A nostalgia sets in, a kind of wistful yearning for something of the past, such as freedom from care associated (falsely) with drinking, bars, drinking associates, and friends; the music, blue lights, and tinkle of the ice cubes in a glass in the neighborhood saloon.

i) There can be a kind of romanticism, which includes unrealistic valuations of lifestyles and character traits which can be and usually are objectively dangerous to one's sobriety.

j) Escapism. Fantasizing, daydreaming, and wishful thinking are very much in evidence in the dry drunk syndrome as the individual slips farther and farther from reality.


i have been made to feel like the issues were because of me... i was told that i was "a psycho"

au contraire, mon frere... if one thinks that crying while driving and having to pullover because i've been shaken up by an unexpected run-in at a bookstore is "psycho"... one has no idea what "psycho" is.


some more from a recovery site:

It's difficult for them to receive praise or care from others.

The classic maneuver of the dry drunk is over-reaction. The alcoholic may attach a seemingly disproportionate intensity of feeling to an ordinary insignificant event or mishap.

The self-destructive attitudes and behavior of the dry drunk alcoholic are different in degree but not in kind. The alcoholic, when drinking, has learned to rely on a deeply inadequate, radically immature approach to solving life's problems. And this is exactly what one sees in the dry drunk.

The term "dry drunk" therefore denotes the absences of favorable change in the attitudes and behavior of the alcoholic who is not drinking, or the reversion of these by the alcoholic who has experienced a period of successful sobriety. From these conditions, it is to be inferred that the alcoholic is experiencing discomfort in life.

When dry drunk alcoholics awaken to this irony that they, still unmanageable, still powerless, are the ones who have made this remarkable "recovery," they may feel sufficiently mortified to want to change.

The dry drunk can be a precursor to the beginnings of relapse, the AA Big Book describes this condition as being "restless, irritable, and discontented". This set of attitudes can apply to anyone who is chemically dependent, or even those were not.


there's a part of me - as someone who has been affected throughout her life by alcoholism in the family - that finds it easy to think "oh wow, this is all on me. it's my fault that this relationship took a big flaming nosedive" --- but then, i step back and think about it and know that NO effing way is this on me.

No way will I have someone say that I am "psycho" so that they can turn their own stinkin' thinkin' on me.

Just because I was expressing MY feelings and trying to talk things through... meanwhile i get the "I have nothing more to say." and the emotion wall comes slamming down in front of me.


Alcoholics Anonymous
Al-Anon
Dry Drunk Syndrome
"Not Drinking, But Not 'Of Sober Mind' Either"
"Could I Be a Dry Drunk?"

You Might Be a Dry Drunk If...


by the way... i have written this because i spoke to him today about when i could get my dvds & stuff and he was a tool on the phone with his "i have nothing to say to you"... now, i've been friends after break-ups with 98% of the guys i've dated(even caught the bouquet at my one ex's wedding... that wasn't very easy and i hadn't tried to catch it. but there it is... for all of eternity on video for them.) but, i was in no way deserving of his cold shoulder.

he said that he was angry at me for writing about his "personal life" --- seriously?
THIS POST FROM 2 WEEKS AGO HE'S PISSED AT? reeeeeeeeeally? the one where I made myself look like the asshole?

so, he DID say today to "go write to your little blog friends" --- fine. just doing what i'm told.

it's funny because that was MY PERSONAL LIFE that i wrote about. and he's known about my blog since day 1. in fact he's been reading it at least once a day - especially since the Barnes & Noble night. So, if he thought that THAT post was delving into his personal life... well... I think he probably knows by now that THAT was nothing.

anyway... after trying to figure out schedules as to if i should pick it up or if he should drop them off, he then says "you're all over the board" - implying that i am the nutty one... fuck that.

so i gave him my address and told him to fed ex my stuff. which, i would like to get a tracking number from him.

so, on the phone, he was the coldest that i've ever heard anyone - so after i gave the address, i told him to have a nice life and "fuck you" (usually i say goodbye, but "fuck you" felt more appropriate at that moment.)

I am 1000% thankful that it was only a few months and that I didn't waste years dealing with this junk stuff --- and that I recognize that HE is the one with the "issues" (as I was forewarned about 3 months ago.)

I hope he gets some help.

it's too bad because I really cared for him.

bullseye.

bullseye.

didn't walk today --- although, i think i did walk a mile whilst in Target this afternoon. i should've worn the pedometer. dangit.

Continue reading "bullseye." »

walkeriffic!
September 20, 2008

walkeriffic!

well, i've come to the conclusion that i shouldn't set the alarm for 7:45am after being out till 2am and in bed by 3:30am. kinda doesn't mix well. instead, the phone woke me up at 8:45am since, once again, i was rendered Slumber Deaf.

i'm off to the boards to get the walk on.

1,355 STEPS FURTHER...

1,355 STEPS FURTHER...

beeeeeeautiful day out today! 66 degrees out... so, i threw on a sweatshirt (amongst other walking gear) and headed down to the boardwalk.


STEPS : 6097
AEROBIC STEPS : 5781
AEROBIC WALKING TIME : 49 MINUTES
CALORIES BURNED : 286
DISTANCE : 2.69 MILES
FAT BURNED : 19.7

the sweatshirt seemed like a good idea at the beginning of the walk since it was pretty breezy down at the ocean... once i hit the halfway mark and turned around and the wind was at my back and the sun was beating down in front of me, i was pretty sure that i was going to die of heatstroke.

i am still alive, but, i am waiting to see if the beet red face that i am sporting is sunburn or just my body freaking out from the heat.

so, i've walked 1,348 steps more than i did on thursday...

ONWARD & UPWARD
September 21, 2008

ONWARD & UPWARD

went to church today (long mass... twins were being baptized)

then i went and walked - but didn't go to the boardwalk, went to the Brick Reservoir. it was absolutely gorgeous today - and it was packed with people.


STEPS : 6840
AEROBIC STEPS : 6799
AEROBIC WALKING TIME : 59 MINUTES
CALORIES BURNED : 327
DISTANCE : 3.02 MILES
FAT BURNED : 23.4

beat yesterday's step tally by 743 steps (and the aerobic steps by 1000+)

walked around the reservoir twice. when i started it was 67 degrees. I didn't check the temp when i ended, but, i am pretty sure it's somewhere around 110 degrees... Celsius.

(i didn't wear the sweatshirt today. which was a good thing, otherwise I might still be laying on the back end of the track with joggers using my body as a hurdle.)

TIME TO BUST OUT THE NETI POT
September 22, 2008

TIME TO BUST OUT THE NETI POT

it's Fall!
it's Allergy Season!

let's see, Neti Pot or Zyrtec? Neti Pot or Zyrtec?

(i would prefer to just sleep actually. that helps.)

OUT OF ALL THE BANKS IN ALL THE WORLD...

OUT OF ALL THE BANKS IN ALL THE WORLD...

lovely. so, the accountant for one of my clients needed my account info to wire money to me today. there are 2 Bank of America branches within 3 miles of me.

she needed the address of one of them. I chose the Herbertsville Rd branch rather than the Chambersbridge one to give her the info for.

I should've given her the Chambersbridge one.

why?

because the Herbertsville one was robbed and had a bomb scare (granted, everything should be okay and go into my account electronically, but, i don't know what the hell goes into being wired if anyone has to flip a switch and say "money. good to go."

anyway... the suspect is still on the loose according to the article.

COME ON! GET IN THE VAN!

COME ON! GET IN THE VAN!

(i'm proud to say that the Doctor in the clip is my client, Matt Iseman... I will also say that this clip creeped me out)

ANYONE KNOW WHERE I PUT MY SPARE KEY?

ANYONE KNOW WHERE I PUT MY SPARE KEY?

the past two days, my car key has not been working --- well, technically, the KEY key part of it is fine - i can start my car and also manually open my doors, etc.

but, the remote buttons are dead.

it's supposed to charge automatically when it's in the ignition - alas, it hasn't.

i have to try to remember where the hell i put the second key they gave me 3 years ago... yeah, yeah, i know "i should've put it in a safe place"... please.

actually it might be upstairs in my jewelry box... but, odds are it's not.

it might be in some random shoebox that i haphazardly emptied an old handbag into --- although i have about 20 of those in my room.

anyway... i called MINI up to see what the skinny is on the recharging and they said the battery may have just up and totally died on that one key... or that it needs servicing and reprogramming... OR i need to have a totally new key made.

Wanna know how much a new effing key would be?

$187.69

seriously.

a key.

it's a crazy arsed looking key, too.

man. i have to tear through this house to find the other one --- and if THAT battery is dead, i am going to be miffed.


UPDATE @ 5:43PM:

okay, thanks to the stellar memory of gigglemom, I've found my key.

This is after I was tearing the place up looking for it.

She stopped feeding her chipmunk (not a euphemism for anything. there's actually a chipmunk who has taken to her and hangs out with her on the patio. personally, I think the thing is addicted to GM's cigarette smoke, but, it might have a little to do with the almonds that she's been feeding him. He's gotten pretty brazen, to the point of where he's eating the almonds out of her hand. I'm pretty sure that once the rodent bites her, that'll be the end of her, what with the cumadin mixed with chipmunk flu or whathaveyou.)

I digress. anyway... GM said "hey, didn't you bring the spare key with you down to Florida in June --- so that when Aunt Judy drove herself to the airport, just in case she lost the key, you wouldn't be up the creek?"

A-HA! yes! okay... so i wound up rummaging through the 2 handbags, the beachbag, the one carry-on, my suitcase and nothing... then i remembered that effing Spirit Airlines made me purchase another carry-on bag because my one bag was 2 pounds overweight and they were gonna charge me $100 extra.

So I found the bag in question... rifled through it and VOILA!

The Key.

Got it.

Just went out to Phooka and checked to see if THAT battery was dead inside of it.

it was perfect!

sweet.

don't have to shell out $187 to MINI and don't have to exert myself by turning the key in the door to lock it or open it (seriously, it's exhausting.)

NORM!!!

NORM!!!

woot! I am going to Caroline's on Friday night for the 10:30pm show to see Norm MacDonald!

Anyone interested in going to that show, CLICK HERE!!


(by the way... Neil... He'll be on Stern on Thursday morning.)

... THEN ALONG CAME BILL.
September 23, 2008

... THEN ALONG CAME BILL.

okay, actually, more like "along came bills"... today was hunker down and pay the bills day (since yesterday's bank robbery didn't affect the wire transfer of cash to my account.)

i hate paying these things... i know, i know "who doesn't?"

but then there's that weird sense of calm that comes over me after i have ticked each vulture off the list for the month and the monkeys are back in their cages and not clamoring all over my back for 4 more weeks.

i'll tell ya' - this is the second month in a row that i've done the health insurance premium... man that is enough to actually MAKE you sick. i know, i know. it's good that i have it. i know. i really need to start going to the doctor once a week or so just to get my money's worth.

"no, Doctor, I'm not a hypochondriac... i'm just paying $297.97 a month"

anyway... i use my electric/gas/water/cable/internet/cellphone and all that stuff daily, so it's not as much of a *gulp* when i shell out the cash for that...

and the gym hasn't charged me in a few months - think that once it re-opens in November they'll be charging... so, my Fat Tax (credit: Christian Finnegan for that term) is on hiatus.

i have to bring my big honkin' camera up to the city on Friday and take photos of Norm for the site/etc -- of course, these won't be Pro-Photographer sort of photos, but, i'm gonna try --- I tend to act like a dork around my clients (a la Chris Farley Show...)

i need to find my battery charger for the camera actually.

bruised.
September 25, 2008

bruised.

man alive, so, the other night i was driving with my cousin michael and i made a wisecrack and he playfully punched my right shoulder.

i have been in pain ever since. i mean, he wasn't trying to kick my ass or anything, just a goofy "hey, what'dja say that for" type of jab and i can't move my arm without a little shooting pain. (it's subsided a bit from the other night, so, it's not like crazy hurt now, but, jeez, michael, i'm a girl...)

anyway... enough about that...

dragging gigglemom for an ultrasound today. I'm hoping for a little brother.. alas, I think it's only going to show that her by-pass is either clear or filled with cheeseburgers or cigarettes.

(I had Five Guys Burgers & Fries last night... so, I think that I actually have a double bacon cheeseburger stuck in my carotid artery. It's a good look.)

storm and norm
September 26, 2008

storm and norm

heading up to the city to see Norm (and Jordan Rubin) at Carolines tonight. going up with The Other Erin and hopefully meeting up with PeeWee.

It's a crappy day out though. Icky rain.

Anyway...

go add Norm as a friend on Facebook and on MySpace.

Tonight at Carolines on Broadway
September 27, 2008

Tonight at Carolines on Broadway

gigglechick & Norm MacDonald
gigglechick & Norm MacDonald


DSCN0380
Jordan Rubin & gigglechick


DSCN0377
erin & erin


RAISE A GLASS OF DRESSING IN MEMORY OF COOL HAND LUKE.

RAISE A GLASS OF DRESSING IN MEMORY OF COOL HAND LUKE.

R.I.P. Paul Newman

Continue reading "RAISE A GLASS OF DRESSING IN MEMORY OF COOL HAND LUKE." »

DON'T DO THIS AT HOME...
September 29, 2008

DON'T DO THIS AT HOME...

eat an entire 14oz bag of peanut M&Ms

(technically, it's only been half a bag, but, they'll be gone in about 20 minutes I betcha)

seriously?

seriously?

not for nothing, i post what comes to mind on MY blog.

I understand that some of you care about me and all that stuff and i do welcome SOME advice.

but...

Continue reading "seriously?" »

my cousins were over...

my cousins were over...

and we had Five Guys Burgers & Fries

I chose the Double Bacon Cheeseburger with raw onion.

and the fries.

to quote the Bible... "and it was very good."

 

 

 

 

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