It isn't often that you'll hear me talking about Blue Balls or Cockblocking... but these are serious issues in serious times. Sure, hope & change are upon us, but, what about the issues of the little man??
Well, these problems are brought to our attention in the debut album from Los Angeles based "comedy rock" band The Fresh.
Sure, you might be thinking "'Comedy Rock' band? Gigglechick, I take my rock seriously. I don't want some sort of Weird Al wanna-bes in my cd player or ipod or mp3 player of choice"
Don't worry. I would not steer you wrong. When I heard them described as "Comedy Rock" I was skeptical at first as well. As I popped in the CD "The Self-Titled Debut Album" for the first time (keep in mind, I was with my friend Cathy in my MINI and we had a good hour or so to drive to Atlantic City to see *gulp* Madonna ... free tickets, what more can I say?) I was pleasantly surprised...
First, I was surprised because many times I am sent items to review and it's just painful to listen to and you want to go find whoever sent you the thing, hug them and say "please. stop."
HOWEVER... from the first strains of "Blue Balls", I had a smile on my face.
Okay, um, that sounds like an inappropriate statement.
Here's the thing, first you're expecting "comedy" --- but, THESE GUYS CAN FRIGGING PLAY!! Seriously.
I've been listening to this CD pretty much non-stop over the past week and a half. Between the music and the lyrics... HAVE I MENTIONED THE LYRICS?
So smart. So funny. Every time I listen to this album, I'm hearing something new in the lyrics or little items in the background and I wind up guffawing.
But, best of all, I find myself singing these songs in the shower or just as I'm lollygagging around the house... or, um, I will let you know that I wound up singing "Cockblocking" to myself in my head the other night as a lullaby...
But wait - there is SO much more to The Fresh's "The Self-Titled Debut Album" than "Blueballs" or "Cockblocking"
I'm going to go through each song...
Track 1 - BLUEBALLS...
As a woman, I don't understand the excruciating pain that blue balls seems to render on a fella (and I, being a kind-hearted girl, prides herself on never leaving a guy in that state...) But, after listening to the lyrics, one can understand what might be going on in some suitor's head when this happens... The music rocks. It conveys the frustration of said condition -- and the chords stick in your head... Yes, I have belted out "BLUUUUUE BALLLS!" as I've driven to the Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru...
Track 2 - MAN LOVE
The Fresh really had me with their bass and rhythm here. Okay... I might just stop trying to be a music critic here... I don't know a hell of a lot about instruments and all of that mumbo-jumbo. BASICALLY, this song just made me want to move - as in dance around and have fun. I know what I like in music and this is it. Let me stick with the comedy review. The song is about the Guy Crush a.k.a. Man Love... but not in a "gay way". Fellas, you know that you totally have a man crush on 007 or Kobe Bryant. But it's not like you want to, you know...
I'm not delving into the specifics of the lyrics, because I want each line to be a delicious surprising little morsel of goodness when you hear it.
Track 3 - HOLLYWOOD SONG
Here is a nice, fun little poppy tune. About Hollywood. It has been playing in my head - as well as in my car - over and over. In a good way (not in the "please kill me" way.) The way the music is mixed throughout this song just makes me happy. I sound like a freak writing this don't I? It's a bouncy little song that is filled with wise-arsery and I love it. It's SOOOOOOOO GOOD.
Track 4 - SHILOH NOUVEL
This is a song about The One. When you listen to it, you will know who they are talking about and you will worship her after hearing it. In my opinion, this track has a hint of reggae flavour to it (without it being an annoying reggae song). Let's just say that it has to do with one of the most beautiful children on the planet. Again, one of the songs that accompanies me as I am feeding the dog in the morning or walking to the mailbox. It's stuck in my head. Stuck - and I don't want it to escape.
Track 5 - PUPPIES & BABIES
Okay, before you think I've been paid $10K for drooling over this album, I will let you know that this song is sort of my least favourite track on here. It's silly and a bit screamy - which, when you think about it, it's pretty damned funny that they're screeching about Puppies and Babies. It's not my favourite, but, it's still fun to listen to.
Track 6 - UNICORN'S HORN
Let me preface this by saying that the day I listened to this song, a friend of mine had passed away that morning. He was an Irish singer who used to sing "The Unicorn Song" (TOTALLY DIFFERENT SONG THAN THIS ONE)... So it took me a week before I could listen to the word "Unicorn" without getting misty. Once I was able to put all my focus on this "Unicorn's Horn" track, I was able to giggle like a, well, like a gigglechick. It's silly and has a twist in the lyrics that made me scream "Oh Sweet Jaysus!" It did take me a couple of listens to really have it grow on me.
Track 7 - YVONNE GOES POSTAL
The title is pretty self-explanatory about what this is about. We've all had a strange bird as a co-worker at one time or another (if you haven't, you might be that strange bird). You know, the kind that makes you sort of have a "we might die" feeling in your stomach about. This song is about Yvonne. It also has a great beat (Okay. I am no Dick Clark, but, it really does.)
Track 8 - UNTITLED (STEADY POUND)
Throw out your Barry White/Get The Chick Into Bed songs that you have stored in your bachelor arsenal. This is a, dare I say, sexy little song. Coincidentally, it's about someone looking for that "steady pound". That means intercourse, kids. It's a nice bluesy, bass-filled 6:22 minute song. It has grown on me the more I listen.
Track 9 - TWO BUCK CHUCK
To me, this has a slight Cracker-esque feel to it... it's a little over a minute long (which is probably a little longer than Two Buck Chuck really lasts.)
Track 10 - COCKBLOCKING
The smooth sounds of The Fresh combine the music and the lyrics here to create what might be my favourite song on the album. [PSA: Cockblocking is an epidemic - which doesn't just happen to guys.] Cathy (who I mentioned earlier) and I were driving and belting the chorus to this out while making up dance moves to it. I don't know who Daryl is, but, he needs to chill. Who is Daryl??? Seriously, you need to buy this CD and listen to it.
Yes, I know the word "cockblocking" may not be your cup of tea. No, I cannot really stand there cooking dinner for Gigglemom while singing "Bitches and Hoes, Jocks and Bros, Cockblockin'" --- I mean, personally, I COULD, but, Gigglemom would burst into tears.
Everything about this song just makes me grin, laugh, sing and do little dance movements to it. Highly Recommend!!
Track 11 - TOGETHER ALONE (TOGETHER FOREVER)
If I were to get married at some point, I'm thinking that this would be a good wedding song for me. It's a "stalkery", pretty little track. Yes. It is funny. Very, VERY funny.
Track 12 - PLOWTOWN
The music is great. 90% of the lyrics crack me up. The song is still growing on me (I'm not thrilled with the "Girl I'm Gonna Stretch You Out" line, because it just creeps me out.) I like it more than Puppies & Babies though.
Track 13 - SAVE THE WORLD
This seems to be The Fresh's answer to Band Aid's "Feed the World" --- but hipper and not just about feeding the hungry. They are saving EVERYTHING. This is also one of the songs that I keep finding new layers within the lyrics. Just kills me. Good funny, funny stuff.
Okay --- so, you've now witnessed the Gigglechick CD Review for The Fresh "The Self-Titled Debut Album"
My review doesn't do them justice. I want everyone to go and check them out.
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN CHARMED BY THIS CD and The Fresh, I AM GOING TO HOLD A LITTLE CONTEST...
I'VE GOT AN EXTRA COPY OF THE CD THAT I WILL GIVE AWAY TO ONE RANDOM COMMENTER WITHIN THIS POST USING A NEWFANGLED PROGRAM THAT SHAKES UP COMMENTS AND PULLS A NAME BY THE LUCK OF THE DRAW.
SO COMMENT HERE AND WHEN I PICK THE WINNER, I WILL ASK THAT PERSON FOR THEIR ADDRESS VIA EMAIL (you need to post your valid email address in the entry field)
THE DEADLINE FOR COMMENT ENTRIES IS THIS FRIDAY - DECEMBER 5th @ 11:59PM PACIFIC (That's the West Coast, Kids)
Let me tell you about the guys in The Fresh - first off, from what it looks like, they are easy on the eyes (which always helps.)
"Formed in 2004, The Fresh is compromised of Massachusetts singer/lead guitarist John Fulton, Rhode Island Bassist Kurt Morgan, LA native percussionist Dean Mucetti on drums, and Ohio funnyman Jack Voorhies on Lead Vocals/Rhythm Guitar.
Their backgrounds range from backing up popular recording artists on tour to performing improvisation at Hollywood's prestigious IO West."
Okay, I stole that from their bio.
HERE IS THE FRESH SINGING "COUGAR" (which is not on the album):
UPDATE!!!: the contest is over! and I've posted the winner here....
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
BANNED FROM WALMART...........
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany he r on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs.. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least ..
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
so, last week i went to the ER on Wednesday with my mom.
she was filled with fluid and her abdomen was distended and she was in a lot of pain.
they took a CT scan last thurs morning. saw "nothing" and sent her home on friday.
things got worse between Friday and Yesterday (thurs) and we went to Dr. S (her primary doc) who said it was gas.
my mom cried and said she wanted to go to the hospital, so dr. sy said "fine" and called ahead to the ER.
we got there at 3:20pm.
they started getting her prepped for a CT scan at 7pm so we didn't get it done till 9:30pm
the results of the scan were read a little after 10pm and she had a "Twisted Intestine"
they admitted her - so much for "gas"
anyway. this morning the surgeon saw her - yes. surgery. her abdomen was so distended that it was like a hard oversized beachball
he told her that she was very high risk and that there was "a slim chance she would live through the surgery"
great. i know that they need to be realists, but, she called me up crying... hell, we both thought that she was going to die --- by the time i got to the hospital about 10 min later she basically had the words of wisdom "don't marry a jerk" and told me where the deed to the condo is.
she went in for surgery at 2:30pm with Dr P (slim chance dude who actually was nice - i'd spoken to him after i got there this morning)
so, she got out of surgery at about 6:30... she is alive.
unfortunately.... she had to have a complete ileostomy.
fortunately, a week and a half ago, I was put on Zoloft 50mg
anyway... i've been busy with all of this for the past couple of weeks, so, just wanted to give y'all a head's up.
Your horoscope for December 20, 2008
You are a sensitive and caring person, erin. Today, you feel especially connected to your entourage, even those that you don't know as well. Your kind nature is bringing healing to others, whether you are aware of it or not, as well as bringing you many benefits. You should be feeling happy and upbeat. You are physically fit, look great, and will be happy to spend the day socializing with others.
hey! so, as you know, GM had surgery on Friday afternoon.
they took her off the ventilator on Saturday at 1pm (which was less than 24 hours after her procedure... the doctors at first thought that she'd be on the ventilator for about 4 days... so, gigglemom amazed them with this.)
then on sunday, they let her eat a clear liquid diet (jello, broth, apple juice, lemon ice)
today she made even better progress - is able to have a "full liquid diet" which includes cream-type of soups.
aaaaand they moved her out of the Critical Care Unit at 7pm this evening... which is AWESOME!
She'll be going to a rehabilitation center either on wednesday or friday
But, so far, everything has been progressing beautifully - and she's been very upbeat and has a positive attitude. Thank God.
Thank you all for the messages that you've sent over the past few days, they've helped so much!