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June 11, 2009 1:05 AM

hey there! okay - again, sorry sorry to the one person out there who is still reading my site. (you know who you are.)

i'm going to post a litany of status updates that i've got up on my facebook page --- this will catch you up on SOME stuff. then, hopefully, i'll start posting in a more frequent manor.


May 28 at 8:58pm | is watching the Scripp's National Spelling Bee Championships and is pretty e-x-a-s-p-e-r-a-t-e-d because there are babies screaming in the audience (they shouldn't be allowed in there. that's not fair...)

May 29 at 9:28am | woke up alive -- which is a plus considering she most likely had a concussion. Have to take gigglemom to the doc at 1pm.

May 29 at 6:32pm | is about to have a hissy-fit. Verizon --- who took an UNAUTHORIZED $238 out of my bank account last month... which effed my account up reeeeeally bad to the point where i've been zapped and re-zapped with overdraft charges so much so that i am now $500 in the red... anyhooooooo... i JUST got an email stating that VERIZON is trying to hit up my account again (actually it's NOT MY account...)

May 29 at 6:34pm | so they're trying to get $238 out of me (even though we had things reversed a few weeks ago) --- yet my bank account isn't allowing them to because i have insufficient funds.i guess the insufficient funds at this point are a blessing... and tomorrow i am calling my bank to tell them if effing verizon tries to hit my account, kill them.i am hoping that i get some checks in the mail soon otherwise i am effed.... Happy Friday!!

May 29 at 8:05pm | is about to make beef stroganoff with egg noodles... [there is no need to make high-larious stroganoff jokes at this juncture.]

May 30 at 1:28am | forgot to mention that today at the doctor's, gigglemom was diagnosed with sciatica. which is horrible... yet, all night, all i've been picturing is Pacino running around yelling "SCI-ATICA!!! SCI-ATICA!!! SCI-ATICA!!!" she's passed out on the vicodin at the moment while Oxycodone Joe is sitting outside smoking right now.

May 31 at 10:52pm | would like to give a hearty "hey thanks! you miserable @(#$@!" to the mosquito that attacked her ankle. (not sure if the mosquito in question is on FB though.)

June 1 at 11:53am | just spoke with Giggledad... we're in the homestretch - Wednesday is his hip replacement surgery (after waiting 10 months for this)!!! Finally, he'll be able to walk without pain for the first time in years (he had his other hip done in '07)

June 1 at 2:58pm | LOVE LOVE LOVES Bank of America. Regarding that effing Verizon brouhaha (and them trying to charge me AGAIN) spoke with this dude at BoA named Adam (I love him.) and he put a stop on anything Verizon tries to do to my account. He also CREDITED me the $350 in overdraft fees. I spoke with his supervisor and told him to give Adam a hug or a raise. Man, June is starting off so much better.

June 1 at 4:15pm | just trekked to the library, returned a couple of coding books.... checked out a PHP/SQL book, a David Sedaris book and a children's book --- for every section of my brain to feast upon for the next couple of weeks.

June 1 at 11:52pm | is watching letterman and taping conan (i feel like i'm cheating on dave.)... just flipped conan on during advert... Andy is back?!

June 2 at 10:02am | is at the orthopedic doc with gigglecousin.... Again. (at least i have a giant iced coffee to keep me awake) so THIS is what the world is like before 11am?

June 2 at 7:52pm | is at my niece's school Follies where she just belted out and kicked ass on Papa Roach's "Scars". so proud of kelly!!! Love ya'

June 2 at 11:49pm | has to wake up at 4am so she can get ready and be at the hospital at 5:30am for giggledad's hip surgery. trying to get into sleep mode.

June 3 at 6:54am | giggledad just went into surgery! (or at least to prep for anethesia)

June 3 at 10:22am | giggledad is out of surgery. Doc said he came through it perfectly and that he's a fun guy :) woo! New hip dad!

June 3 at 10:07pm | left the hospital at about 5pm. Giggledad was getting settled in his room and becoming friends with the morphine button. When she got home she passed out right away and JUST woke up 5 minutes ago. Might hit the hay in a few minutes. SO tired.

June 3 at 10:22pm | was leaving Jersey Shore (hospital) and made a wrong turn in one of the hallways and wound up smack dab in front of a plaque for her grandmother. Just a little reminder that she's been looking out for giggledad since she passed away when he was 9 years old.

June 4 at 6:51pm | just got back from seeing giggledad then hitting Shop-Rite. what I'm making tonight - Giant Pork Chops marinated in (and i'm winging it here God only knows if they'll taste okay) apple juice, honey, Rosemary, Chives, Crushed Red Pepper and pineapple chunks/juice. Also grilling pineapple and roasting Brussel sprouts. Oh! and making Basmati Rice. ta-da!

June 4 at 9:58pm | has tried to remain calm when seeing her shampoo, conditioner, exfoliating scrub and other pots and potions being depleted and lids left open. she's tried to remain calm when her pumice stone has been noticeably moved and used. she's attempted to be nice and not say anything when her tweezers have been used. BUT...............but when fucking gigglecousin Michael took her skin care extractor upstairs, lied and said he didn't know where it was then admitted to having it and thinking that it was a cuticle tool and used it on his God damned TOENAILS.... I am effing LIVID. this is the instrument that he took... and it's also going to be the murder weapon that I use:...

June 5 at 12:44am | is sitting here with latex gloves on, waiting for gigglemom to finish her cigarette, because she needs me to rub ben-gay on her backside to ease the sciatica. i really don't know why i've never become an alcoholic.

June 5 at 1:47am | just took some Sam-e for the first time. will see how that goes --- trying everything I can to prevent the double murder.

June 5 at 3:25am | is watching Doug Benson's Super High Me on G4. Haven't had a chance to see it before. Finally. I'm thinking of shipping Gigglemom out to CA so she can smoke weed instead of cigarettes (or maybe give her a brownie) -- that way she can sleep and her sciatica will seem better... I'll ship gigglecuz out there too... so I can sleep.

June 5 at 9:47pm | is pleased with her Rainy Friday Feed the Invalids Evening Concoction: Hamburger --- salt, pepper, crushed red peppers... grill 'em Sautee on the grill some green peppers and red onions. BACON... on the grill (thanks to aluminum foil) Slap some crumbled bleu cheese on the burgers and let it melt... slap the bacon, onions, green peppers on them and then devour.

June 6 at 2:02am | Friday Late Night at the Gigglechick Compound: just finished stretching Gigglemom's hamstrings to try to relieve her sciatica. Jealous? Yeah, I THOUGHT SO.

June 7 at 10:49am | overheard at Shop-Rite last night in the pasta aisle. Guy on cell phone: "Well, SORRY! next time I'll try to be more fucking considerate with the noise when I bring some girl home to bang." (wonder if it was a roommate or his parents he was talking to.)

June 7 at 7:43pm | just left the parker house... Now onto surf taco.... Then back to Invalid Central (meaning home. Not giggledad's rehab... He is doing great!)

June 8 at 12:35am | is wondering WHY the hell gigglecousin HAD to take a shower at midnight and then DRENCH himself with Obsession or whatever the bejeezuz he is killing me with. seriously i cannot breathe and now have a frigging headache. (he SAYS he didn't put anything on. just don't get it. i am choking.)

June 8 at 1:38am |saw Giggledad at the rehab this afternoon - he was in great spirits and wearing his underwear... it's amazing how fast his hip/incision is healing. So happy/relieved for him.

June 8 at 12:16pm | gigglemom's sciatica has gotten worse, she's down to 1 vicodin and I've had to push her around the house in a wheelchair (methinks it's time to call The Scooter Store)

June 8 at 1:25pm | just made an appointment with the ortho doc for gigglemom... for next tuesday. You would think that with ALL of the doctors'/hospital/rehab running around I've been doing for GM, G-Cuz and G-Dad that I'd at least wind up dating a doctor, right? Alas, it seems the odds aren't working in my favour.

June 8 at 3:38pm | isn't seeing Giggledad at the rehab today (it's pouring rain and i'm letting him rest after his first full day o' therapy. besides, my aunts visited him during lunch. spoke to him on the phone though. he's cool with it... yet that damn Irish guilt is growling at me.)

June 9 at 7:21pm |loves the smell combination of honeysuckles & impending thunderstorm whist driving... Especially @ this hour when store signs & street lamps are starting to flicker on.

June 10 at 2:16pm | has to drag giggle-cuz to the lawyer today to yap about the accident. hope they're ready for a cloud of Obsession, Paul Sebastian & Degree Women's Deodorant...

June 10 at 2:19pm | thinks that she needs to grab her clubs and head to the driving range within the week to try and release some aggression on those little dimpled bastards.

June 10 at 8:34pm | went to the lawyer's today and was mortified that Giggle-Cuz said that he was homeless in April... for what? the 10 minutes it took him to get from his effing mother's to my doorstep? some of the things that come out of his mouth are ridiculous.

June 10 at 10:34pm | haha... i'd like 'em to take care of ass-cousin Kenny and their mother first. His idiot mother came over today to drop off his mail and started saying how "busy" she is running ass Kenny (the harassing/drunk/manic depressive cousin) around to appointments and such. so gigglemom said "well, michael's going to need you to start helping take him to therapy soon because erin has been running around to doctor's and lawyer's and police/etc for him and it's affecting her company." their "mother" then said "I don't have time. Have his father do it" ---- not for nothing, but his father has been in a hospital in FLORIDA. ...
NOTE: I was upstairs in the shower when this was going down.
I overheard screaming, threw a towel on and came downstairs to hear Elaine belching this out to Gigglemom. She then said "I have done a lot for Michael!" I chimed in saying "I've been taking care of him 24/7 for 2 months" She then said "good! you should! I've done it for 48 years"
I then screamed .....I then screamed "YOU'RE HIS F*CKING MOTHER! IT'S NOT MY JOB"
She then said "I know I am. Put him on the street"
Then she walked out......
in just my towel.
info here if you'd like to read further about that asswipe:


he hasn't been here since pre-GM's surgery in december... and also i haven't heard from him since I had to call the cops on him. Today when I saw him I freaked and yelled "YOU ARE NOT F*CKING WELCOME HERE. IF I COULD GET A RESTRAINING ORDER ON YOU I WOULD HAVE!" he said something (at this point GM was yelling for me to get inside) i couldn't hear. I then said "GET OUT OF HERE AND GO CUT OFF ANOTHER CAT'S HEAD"
(not that i want that done to a cat. but this f*ckwit did that very thing to some poor cat this past fall.)


so that's about it over the past week or so. basically my blood pressure has been up, gigglemom is hurting, giggledad is healing, giggledog is doing swell and i am tired.


Welcome to the YapFest (11 yapped)

Carol yapped on June 11, 2009 3:08 PM

I don't know how I managed to miss that last little gem on your FB page. GiggleAunt is sure giving some competition to those running for "Unfit Mother of the Year". Hoe dare she come into your home and raise a stink like that, I would definitely look into the restraining order on her and Ass-hat Cousin Kenny!

Am I really the last of the GC stalkers on your regular site? Do I get a prize for lasting this long?

gigglechick yapped on June 11, 2009 5:16 PM

she's not a GiggleAunt. she's been divorced from my uncle for 40 years.

heh, i hope there are still a few others lurking about!

kerry yapped on June 13, 2009 6:40 PM

i can't believe your ex-aunt actually had the gall to say that you should be taking care of your cousin. wtf? no wonder kenny is an ass-hat.

ray yapped on June 14, 2009 5:57 PM

your truly one of the nicer people i know Erin ...

ray yapped on June 14, 2009 5:58 PM

meaning - you have given up a LOT to take care of two people in your family - I admire that :)

brykMantra yapped on June 14, 2009 10:30 PM

Wow, I thought *I* had annoying relatives.

You win.

And I'm sure you've still got lots of stalkers hanging around ...

Speaking of which: Any of you stalkers reading this have pics of GC in the aforementioned towel? Post pls.

CapableGirl yapped on June 15, 2009 8:34 AM

I'm still readin'. So, remind me, Kenny and Michael are brothers in assness?

logtar yapped on June 15, 2009 11:18 AM

More blogging, less facebooking

How I Make $300 a Day Online yapped on June 17, 2009 11:34 PM

Hey, great post, really well written. You should post more about this.

meagan yapped on June 18, 2009 1:53 AM

nd had to laugh a bit while I skimmed over everything, it for some reason reminded me of when I was newly wed, working as a CNA and my brother in law lived with us--as a CNA I would have to accompany the patients at the nursing home I worked at to Doctors appointments all the time, and for some of the most random stuff, and then ontop of it my new husbands dead beat drug addict borther was living with us stealing our laundry quarters to buy drugs and then coming up with some of the most insane lies to cover it all up, anyhow he crassed my car and then when I gave him the bill to get it fixed he called me a F-in B. and told me to F-off and went and moved in with his dying Grandma who blamed me for "kicking him out and making my husband have to choose" even after she walked in on him shooting up in her back room--Yeah, crazy is as crazy does, my life isn't as crazy anymore since we moved away from all our family members, but we still have our moments--sorry ya'll are going through this all, but hey, crazy family members makes for some pretty hilarious stories, you know when you get to the point that you can look back at it all and laugh, that is


dana michelle yapped on June 19, 2009 10:08 PM

I'm still out here reading too, so now you know there's at least 7 of us!

So glad you updated, but Yeesh! Your ex-aunt sounds like a serious piece of work.

By the way, this entry: "June 5 at 12:44am | is sitting here with latex gloves on, waiting for gigglemom to finish her cigarette, because she needs me to rub ben-gay on her backside to ease the sciatica. i really don't know why i've never become an alcoholic." is vintage GC.

You've still got it, woman!

Happy almost your birthday on Sunday, in case I don't get back here before then:)

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