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WIDE AWAKE
August 7, 2009

WIDE AWAKE

so, i'm awake. i've got wash washing, wash drying, dishes in the dishwasher and giggledog is sitting on the floor licking my leg. it's quarter after 2 in the morning.

what's been up?

well... i'm a little late saying "rabbit, rabbit" aren't i?

also, right now, even though I'm awake, I don't feel I've got the energy to rehash the Michael B.S. that went on (I may copy and paste crap from my facebook profile in the next day or so regarding this)

Gigglemom went into the hospital 2 weeks ago with giant swollen purple legs... edema... mixed with a skin infection.

The swelling and discolouration went down and last Friday we moved her to a rehab. (it never gets old for me when i say "my mom's in rehab")

She was doing okay the first couple of days then on Sunday or Monday she stood up and she felt and heard a crumbling in her back. They took x-rays and as it turns out, she has compression fractures in her spine. not good.

so they've got her likkered up on Vicodin and muscle relaxants. I actually haven't seen her since Monday because I wound up getting a cold or whathaveyou and on Wednesday night at 5pm I wound up having bed spins and was completely nauseous ---- wound up getting sick for 3 hours straight --- hadn't even eaten anything either.

I've basically been sleeping, working, etc.

Except for today I went to weight watchers for my 4th weigh-in.

When I (RE)started WW on July 16th I was 227.4 pounds (yayyyyyy. blargh.)

July 23 - lost 1.8 and was 225.6
July 30 - lost 3.6 and was 222.0

Today when I weighed in I had lost 1.8 pounds and am 220.2 pounds...

THANKS EVIL STOMACH RETCHFEST!!

I must admit since starting WW again I have NOT been journaling/tracking my points... I have been conscious of what I've been eating though and have posted it on FB or whatever...

mainly the posts consist of:

"I just ate a large bucket of ice cream at Maggie Moo's"

"I just ate a vat of tortellini with vodka sauce & meatballs"

"I just ate a whole #6 Jersey Mike's sub!"

or similar versions of said posts... not too many had the word "salad" or "fruit" in them.

So... I'm going to attempt to "track" my points this week (hopefully I won't gain weight if i do this!)

Personally, I feel that since I started WW on the 16th and we kicked asinine Michael out of the house on the 18th, that the stress level shifted a bit (oh that's not to say that he wasn't a complete fuckwit for a week afterward - seriously, he was. cops were called, he threatened to slice up Phooka, etc. - as I said, I'll get into that in detail soon. I promise.)

But, the weekend of July 17-19 I held a Yard Sale and was moving the crap on and off of my lawn and working out THAT way like a freak.

then the following week GM went in the hospital and I was running and racing hither & tither and basically eating my meals at the hospital cafe and having Maggie Moo's ice cream a few times

Then last week I wound up moving ALL of my shite out of my storage unit that I've had for 6 years and my Aunt Ann generously lent me space in one of her barns for me to move that stuff into temporarily.

So last last Thursday and Friday was spent loading and unloading 7 truckloads of heavy boxes onto and off of Giggledad's pick up truck that he lent me.

THEN Friday night I had to pick GM up from the hospital and drive her to the rehab... during a tornado warning. AWESOME.

So I think I pretty much worked out a lot that way...

This week, I should probably bust my hump cleaning this godforsaken house (again.) and hopefully that'll help keep the weight loss going.

So. That's pretty much it in a nutshell as to what's going on (I promise to post the Michael Fiasco soon. I've been a bit busy... and he's not totally worth rehashing, but, I'll type it out soon for ya')

oh.... AND I've been hooked on Big Brother Live Feeds again... so that's not really helping me get any sleep.

ta-da.


NO WHEY. WHEY!!
August 13, 2009

NO WHEY. WHEY!!

well. today, i weighed in at Weight Watchers... after 4 straight weeks of losing weight, not journaling and also eating everything under the sun, it caught up with me and I gained 4.6 pounds


so, my giggleaunt judy, gigglecuz kerry and I headed to Saladworks after the meeting and were "good"

then Ker & I headed to the movies - saw Funny People (attell & norm were in it... as well as a billion others) --- and had a medium popcorn, with faux butter, and poured sno-caps in it (yes. try it. it's delightful!)... oh, and i had the giant lake michigan sized Coke.

around 8:45pm I was hankering for dinner.

mcdonald's. wendy's. taco bell. vinnie's cheesesteaks.

they were all on my mind.

i texted Ker. she talked me down.

i wound up going to the food store - because i've had NOTHING in the house... which has made it EASY to go out to the drive-thrus

i brought my WW Point Slider to figure out what was good for me.

wound up spending $170 on groceries (well... i DID also buy a single serve indoor grill thing and a single serve blender)

i now have a ton of strawberries, pineapple, honeydew, brussel sprouts, corn, chicken breasts, fat free cheeses, skinny cow ice cream, pepperidge farm deli flats and a tin of Biggest Loser protein whey powder....

speaking of the powder, i am sitting here with my dinner...

the diet/protein whey powder, fresh strawberries, 5oz water and crushed ice!! (it effing tastes REALLY good!!!)

so, next week, bring it ON Weight Watchers scale.

0813092243.jpg

I WILL ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE
August 16, 2009

I WILL ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE

well... FINE... i'll accept the challenge that Fizzy has put out there... to blog for 30 days --- yes. i HAVE been a slacker with my site. *hanging my head in shame*

my life hasn't been terribly exciting enough lately to post about.

well, i mean, that's if you don't include the idiot and the nutjob cousins going around ransacking people's property and the one cousin "being on the lam" and the other being hauled off to jail (the one in jail is the more dangerous one... not the dumb one who lived with me for 3 effing months)

oh, and my life's been pretty boring, well, unless you count the whole bringing gigglemom to the hospital and trekking there for a week until having to bring her to the rehabilitation center... where 2 days after being there, she stood up and something in her spine cracked so they took an x-ray and it turns out she's now got a couple of compression fractures and can't really walk.

other than that, the life's been pretty blah...

just going to weight watchers and after 4 weeks of being lucky and losing weight - without journaling my points, i gained on thursday 4.6 pounds and have now been faithfully tracking my points and eating healthy since then. might try to introduce some exercise back into the mix.

i am also addicted to the Big Brother live feeds... don't know if you watch the show. I do. exciting stuff to live vicariously through on there... well... sorta. all i know is that because it's on the west coast, i've been staying up too bloody late.

bought that single serve blender the other day and i will end this post by saying i am now in love with my Banana Protein Shake (2 points) --- it's my Biggest Loser French Vanilla Whey Protein Powder + 1 banana + ice + water = YUM!!!!

sure, it's not a plate of Hickory Hog Fries, but, I feel good when I drink it ----- plus i've been full as a tick the past couple of days with what i've been eating... and it's all good.

so there. day 1 of the "challenge" to get my butt back in gear with my blog...

HUNGRY. OR AM I?
August 17, 2009

HUNGRY. OR AM I?

actually right now, i'm not hungry --- oh sure, i "could eat", but i just drank a bucket of water and my body shut up about thinking it was in need of something to chaw on.

I'm trying to get more inside my head about whether or not i am actually hungry at times or if it's just boredom, frustration, guilt, etc that's attempting to steer me towards the kitchen.

about an hour ago, i was "starving" (when if one looks at my intake for the day, they'd see that i was actually doing okay and not keeping food away... i still have 9 points left for dinner -- and i'm waiting to eat after i take a walk)

ANYWAY... as i was saying, an hour ago i thought i was starving... then i decided to just drink some water and do some work for a client of mine --- and i've been procrastinating about updating some stuff on this one site for a while (okay... not so much "procrastinating" as i've been swamped with running to the hospital & rehabilitation place to visit gigglemom)

SO - before i interrupted myself... again - I sat down and forced myself to do some coding and set up a couple of pages... as soon as I uploaded those I swear that I really wasn't hungry.

I think that it was a gnawing-type of stress/guilt thing about not giving 110% lately to work (my own company... so, I could fire myself i guess) and once that project was taken care of I didn't have that "hmmmmmm, maybe i'll make a turkey burger to procrastinate" feeling.

i don't know. there's something there. I'm going to delve into this a bit more over time...

GEE... could i be a stress and emotional eater!~!?? they're so rare ;}

37 HOURS --- arrrrgh.
August 18, 2009

37 HOURS --- arrrrgh.

this is going to be a near non-existent post --- if only to meet the 30 day challenge.

i am bleary-eyed and exhausted.

from 11:30pm last night till 6pm tonight i spent in the hospital with gigglemom. in a nutshell which i PROMISE to crack open wide when I've had sleep...

her oxygen was at a 46 in the one rehab.
due to the lack of O2 flowing to her brain, she's had a change in mental status over the past couple of days.
that rehab sent her to hospital
hospital wouldn't admit her
GM didn't want to go to that - or any other - rehab.
we stayed overnight in the ER waiting for her primary doc to evaluate her.
GM is reeeeeeeally altered.
the doctor recommended going back to rehab rather than home where she wanted to go.
i can't take care of her like this.
social services was called in.
they suggested maybe trying out a different rehab in order to calm GM down.
she went finally.
ambulance drivers forgot to hook up oxygen for 20 minute ride to rehab.
GM's o2 was at 59... (normal for her is 92)
they were talking of moving her from the new rehab to the hospital again.
the oxygen level went up.
GM's altered state remains thus far.
she's very paranoid in there and hallucinating and envisioning conversations with people... including my Poppy (her dad) who died in 1999

i am exhausted as i said. sleep. g'night

98% GIBBERISH-FREE
August 19, 2009

98% GIBBERISH-FREE

sitting here on the couch with Giggledog licking my left hand as i type... hopefully her tongue won't hit the keyboard and get shocked...

okay.... I went to bed early last night around 10pm.

woke up at 10:15am.

the ol' body definitely needed it.

i saw Gigglemom today and she was doing MUCH better... her oxygen level was at 90 and that's great! So I got her up and sitting in her wheelchair when dinner arrived... fed her (since her back is killing her, just recently her arms are hurting her to lift them --- so i had to feed her)

then she and i were yapping - she was really lucid and totally making sense.

then she wanted to go for a ride around the building to see what the new digs were like.

i was there for 2 hours... she was fine.

then I got her back into bed - which hurts her like hell - and tucked her in and her oxygen must've dropped --- i didn't have the PulseOx machine to check it.

How do i know that it must've dropped??? the gibberish began again.

at least it wasn't nonstop like yesterday.

she then fell asleep and i high-tailed it outta there.

basically that was my day in another nutty nutshell.

tomorrow, stay tuned to see if i lost any weight at WW~!! cross yer fingers!!!

IT'S FINALLY CLICKED
August 20, 2009

IT'S FINALLY CLICKED

back in 2001, I was on the ol' Weight Watchers wagon from February til June (when i moved home to take care of Gigglemom after her Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm surgery - was there a few months)

anyway - from Feb - June I went from 198 to 156. I'd lost 42 pounds and looked pretty damned good.

then I fell off the wagon and the fat started creeping back.

I've joined and re-joined WW since then about 11 times. Always with the mentality "hell, I know what I'm doing on this, I lost weight in '01, I can do it again" --- and I would get cocky and not track (write down what i ate and the points) and then get discouraged when - gee! surprise! - i wouldn't see any weight loss progress.

as i've said, this time I re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-joined WW on July 16 and again started out the cocky way.

Didn't journal/track the first 5 weeks. sure I lost a little... then i gained because i wasn't writing down the ribs, the cheese fries, the pizzas (not just slices, actual WHOLE pies) etc

I wouldn't have stuck with going to the meetings if my aunt and cousin hadn't joined with me. sort of a "being accountable" thing i guess.

anyway, at last week's meeting, I bought the weight watchers digital food scale --- which has been my saving grace this week. it's wonderful.

and i've been writing down EVERY bite. i realized if i'm going to lie and omit something that i've scarfed down, the only one it affects is ME.

so, between tracking EVERYTHING and actually measuring 98% of my food and being precise - yet also enjoying what i'm eating - I went back to the WW meeting this week....


I LOST 6 POUNDS!!!!!

six.

an upside-down 9

yay! i know it's not going to be like this every week, but it's a nice start that shows me (once again) that the way they have this program set up, it frigging works!


so far, since July 16th, i've lost a total of 8.6 pounds!!


ta-da!

TICKLE YO' RIBS!!
August 21, 2009

TICKLE YO' RIBS!!

I can't wait for Giggleaunt Toni & Giggleuncle Franky's Hoedown catered by Famous Dave's tomorrow!

Did a little research on the food and calculated the points for certain foods... basically, bring on the 3 point spare ribs.

I have 22 allowance points left for the week --- today I was doing well, had breakfast, then a few hours later I took a multivitamin and headed out to visit my gigglemom at the rehab (she's been sick)

on the way i started feeling queasy and actually started gagging in the car. i know. i know, yuck.
so, i almost puked... didn't... but made my way to a Wendy's to get something else into my stomach besides the stupid vitamin that was eating away at it.

Had a plain Wendy's Single Cheeseburger and Large Fries and a giant unsweetened Iced Tea

not the best choice from there, but, I also had just gotten my "friend" an hour earlier... so, i needed it.

tonight for dinner i made ground turkey with green, yellow, red & chili peppers as well as garlic. 7 points.

tomorrow i AM nervous about --- because I'm going to try not to make it a free-for-all with the gluttony.

I AM proud that I've pre-planned and done a little research about Famous Dave's

The Hoe'down isn't until 4pm --- so, I'm thinking that I'll have a scoop of my leftover turkey concoction I made tonight and have a protein shake before heading over there so that I'm not devouring everything in sight.

I do love ribs... BUT... I've had Famous Dave's ribs before and they really AREN'T my favourite... so, that might help!!!

plus, the thought of gaining back any part of those 6 pounds i lost this past week is making me want to hang out near the low-cal stuff.

THE RIBFEST HOEDOWN
August 22, 2009

THE RIBFEST HOEDOWN

just got home from chowing down on the ribs, cheese grits, mashed potatoes, crackers with cheese, stuffed breads, apple crisp with vanilla ice cream and s'mores....

took alka-seltzer because i wasn't feeling very well.

alka-seltzer apparently mixed with the ribs and tickled 'em so much that I became Mount Vesuvius and hurled everything up.

i feel much better now...

of course, please note that the retching was not on purpose (in case those angry bulimics from 7 years ago are still lurking around my site... i suspect that they're long gone by now though.)

my body isn't used to eating that much anymore --- within a week and a half of being totally committed to WW it really started feeling ill. I must've eaten at least 60 points worth of food tonight.

that said, i think i have a strawberry protein shake with my name on it waiting for me in the morning

RECOVERY...
August 23, 2009

RECOVERY...

so today was spent sleeping like a fish. wait. maybe that's not the correct analogy since I was not underwater. in any event, i slept like a log (like that makes ANY more sense than sleeping like a fish?)

i woke up at noon. NOON. which, yeah, that's not that unusual for me, but, i had my alarm set for 9:30am because I'd planned on going to church. that didn't happen.

so i woke up at noon, then laid on the couch and did a little work, watched Big Brother live feeds (yes. only a couple more weeks and then my BB addiction is over until next season)

told gigglemom i was cleaning the house and that i would be over tomorrow... i had every intention of getting up and de-cluttering this hellhole... but, didn't. the couch attacked me and sucked me in.

i wound up laying down (even more...) this time with my eyes closed because for an hour or so I was really dizzy. almost like i was 3 weeks ago, but without the fever, vomiting, sweating, poopin' and general blarghness. but since i was dizzy i tried to fall asleep... and did till 8pm.

it's been a really lazy day and i've been mediocre with the WW points today - went over by 5 points.

plus i ran out of bottled water in the house tonight and am thirsty as hell (the tap water here is icky. i'm not a fan.) i'm debating on heading down to WaWa and getting some. maybe in the morning... i'm too meh to head out right now (gee, erin, maybe you're frigging dehydrated! maybe that's why you're effing dizzy & tired)

anyway... just wanted to jot a few things down before i went back to bed (couch)

ABOUT GIGGLEMOM AT THE REHAB...
August 24, 2009

ABOUT GIGGLEMOM AT THE REHAB...

so i just received a phone call from the social worker at the rehab that gigglemom is at right now.

she set up a meeting for this thursday for she, gm and i to sit down and "see where she's at in her recovery"...

then she said "would you be interested in discussing permanent care here or assisted living/respite care??"

I asked what the rates were for that... even though GM would kill me i think.

for the advanced care that's she's getting right now it's $325 per DAY.

for the assisted living that doesn't have 24 hour nursing on staff - just aides - it's $5000 per MONTH...

i gasped and she said "oh is that not within her means?"

i said "it's not within MY means" and started crying. not that i planned on putting her into a home, but, it would've been nice to know that there was a feasible option.

$5000 a month and no nurses. you're kidding right?

gee, and on top of that i'd have to pay the mortgage...

yeah i'm pretty much doomed to care for her here until the bitter end. not that i shouldn't since she's my mom, but, still....

$5000 --- fuck. that. shit. is what i have to say.

6 YEARS
August 25, 2009

6 YEARS

it seems like it was just yesterday that he passed away, but, 6 years. still makes me sad.

PROMISING....

PROMISING....

well, ever since Ribfest at my aunt's, I've been on plan (barring a few points hither and tither on Sunday... but those were made up of light items and a skinny cow... not like a cheeseburger quesadilla or anything crazy like that)

today, i had my protein shake in the morning - with a banana and strawberries all up in it! and had good intentions on walking around 11am... then I sat on my couch and rested my head for what i thought would be only a moment...

when i woke up at 2pm, i was pissssssed... okay, it's not like i can't go walking later or that i can't go to the gym (in fact, i SHOULD head to the gym and pop on the elliptical.. i keep forgetting that I have a gym membership --- if that gives you any idea as to how often i've been going recently.)

anyway... after I woke up, i had my hand on my tummy when i was putting giggledog outside.

it could be just positive thinking, but, it felt slightly smaller.

as of last thursday, i am 8.2 pounds down from whence I started on WW on July 16. I have noticed that there are a few pairs of shorts that are fitting a bit better and all that.

so, it's promising.

i just ate lunch (at 4:30pm!) and had a turkey burger (5) on a deli flat (1) and fat-free american cheese (1) with a small sweet potato (3) and Land O'Lakes Light Butter with Canola Oil (1)

I am stuffed (not sickening. just satisfied stuffed.)


OH!!! the other day I'd used a gift certificate a friend had given me for Amazon and I finally broke down and bought the Hungry Girl 200 Under 200 book --- i converted all of the recipes last night to points (even though they say you can see the WW point value on their site... I wanted to do them on my own.)

The recipes sound pretty good! Hopefully they'll taste keen

"what did we do to deserve this!!!???"
August 26, 2009

"what did we do to deserve this!!!???"

So, there's a challenge on the Weight Watchers website (under challenges... go figure.) to do 200 sit-ups

It's a challenge based on the training program on this site:

http://twohundredsitups.com

Day 1: Week 1
set 1: 15
set 2: 18
set 3: 10
set 4: 10
set 5: 20

my abs are like "what did we do to deserve this!!!???"

Nice that it only took a few minutes and I'm sitting here (on my heavenly couch) sweating a bit from doing 73 sit-ups.

Today was a good day. Stayed on plan. Haven't really even been thinking about food... okay, I DO think about it. But, earlier tonight, I was at the dog beach with giggledog and my cousin and her pup and I thought to myself "are you hungry?" and as I thought about it the answer came to me as "nope."

It was a content feeling - and I hadn't eaten anything in a few hours at that point.

I should probably get some sleep - I've got to Weigh In at noon and want to get up early to ease into my day!

With hopes that y'all are feeling light and airy like I am, have a good night!


UNDER CONSTRUCTION...
August 27, 2009

UNDER CONSTRUCTION...

yes. i am.

so, i weighed in at WW today. lost 0.8 pounds... not the whopping 6 pounder that i had last week, but after eating like an animal on Saturday at the BBQ, i'm kinda happy with it being on the losing side of the scale.

so, in total, since July 16th I've lost 9.4 pounds. ~~SEE?? ~~~>

yay!!

just did day two of that frigging sit up challenge.

set 1: 15
set 2: 18
set 3: 15
set 4: 15
set 5: 22

it's a bitch and a half, but, i have a feeling that if i keep up with the sit-ups, the abs might actually start to tone up.


OH!!! AT THE REHAB WITH GIGGLEMOM TODAY!!! ~~~ LOOK !! ~~~~>>>


----------

OH OH! and today is my gigglecousin Jimmy's 50th birthday (he's a good gigglecousin) --- so a hearty Happy Bday to him!! xoxo

END O' THE MONTH...
August 31, 2009

END O' THE MONTH...

really quick - just to post something....

first... DON'T FORGET to Rabbit Rabbit first thing tomorrow morning.

second... i didn't win the Mega Millions lottery (this time.)

third... i ate an entire XXL pizza (Kerry & I went to Pete & Elda's and ordered 2 XXLs) --- so since that happened I received yet another "Whole Pie Eater's Club" t-shirt (I should wear that to Weight Watchers this Thursday when I gain a billion pounds)

Yesterday, Giggleaunt Judy had a surprise party for my gigglecousin Kerry (who turns 40 on the 7th) --- so I was the "decoy" and took her to breakfast (IHOP) and then to church then back to her house where everyone was waiting for her.

So, I started yesterday morning off with 4 Harvest Nut & Grain Pancakes with a bucket of Butter Pecan syrup... and 4 pc of pork roll.

then ate at the party

i think i was okay on saturday... didn't go hog wild.

i'll get back on track tomorrow and wednesday...

and also go walking tomorrow and do those dang sit-ups

 

 

 

 

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