she talks to herself
the conversation is becoming quite intense.
a fight has erupted. violence.
she's beating herself up - mentally.
blaming herself for things in the past.
torturing herself for what's happening presently.
assuming the worst will happen in the future.
yet the worst is actually taking place as she speaks.
she is an enemy of herself.
breaking down what is left of her brittle shell of self-love.
fighting all that is left of her esteem.
mentally kicking herself in the gut.
feeling wretched about her life, wretched enough to vomit.
it's a circle, a never-ending spiral plummeting towards Hell.
or is this hell?
nothing could be worse than hating yourself.
not giving yourself a chance to be forgiven.

it is hell.

feeling as if you are on this planet
just standing watching others succeed.
watching everything you do crumble before your eyes.
paranoia sets in and everyone is against you,
laughing and sneering ridiculing you.
you take it to heart and the cycle continues
as you go against yourself.
the same words said by others are now being repeated
over and over
by the one person i am afraid of -
by the one i don't want to disappoint -
by the one and only person i believe -

me.

can you send me a little something about your self

love me

I was reading your poem and felt I was feeling those feeliungs at one time or another. I am working to better myself, it takes time and it is hard to not let what others say bother you.

A powerful poem. My sister should read it as she is a pain in my ass.

"hell," Hell ya'! You definetly know how to put into words the feelings and emotion I have flood my mind and soul daily. Did you sneek into my mind while I wasn't there? Any way this is another great poem. Thanx. Brenda

Hey,
Your poem is great! It almost explains me at the moment. If you keep writting like that you will be great and get very far in life. Good luck!!

I really can relate to this poem, maybe we should get married! Just joking, but your poem moved me, and I enjoyed reading it! Thanks.

Wow, what a terrific write. I have, can, and probably will continue to relate to these words. I too write poetry and this was very enjoyable to read. Thanks for your words. Lots of Love, Kim

this poem was deep! it has so many meaning. i been through the same ordeal. life can sometimes be rough. i guess we have to try to live it one day at a time.

THIS POEM IS RILLI INTENSE, AT THE SAME TIME GOOD BUT I HOPE IF THIS WAS YOU FEELING THIS WAY YOU HAVE MOVED ON AWAY FROM THESE HORRIBLE THOUGHTS!! I KNOW LIFE CAN BE HARD AND WE ALL HIT ROCK BOTTOM BUT WE ALL HAVE TO WORK OUR WAY OUT OF IT AND AS HARD AS IT, ALL OF US CAN HELP IN SOME DISTANT WAY. I DON KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND PROB. NEVER WILL BUT I DO BELIEVE IN YOU AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS WHO FEEL THE SAME WAY. YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE THATS WHO YOU WANT TO BELIEVE BE PROUD OF THAT!!

wow. who ever wrote this really knows what they are talking about!!