matchmaker, matchmaker, find me someone who ain't a freak...

April 17th, 2001

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ok, so easter has come and gone and another trip down to my mom's is thankfully over... (disclaimer: love her to death, but i can't live with her) - not really wanting to rehash thinks on here...

so, anyway, needless to say i lived through the weekend... but it's days like today that i wish my mom would get a computer and just email me instead of leaving 6 10 minute messages on my voice mail... arrgh... not rehashing, not rehashing...

oh, i DID go to leggett's on friday for dinner, with mom, and ran into - for the 2nd time in a week and a half - steve. ooh rah.

ok - different topic!!! i *admittedly* have been going on a few dates through match.com... yeah yeah yeah, i hear ya' - i HAVE dated people where i HAVEN'T met them online... and that's fine, but they can be freaks too... (the guy who i dated for 2 months and then brought to a company party only to find him kissing a guy who was a client... and then announcing at the party that he was "GAY"... and then the one i dated for over a year and we BOTH wound up gaining 40 pounds EACH...

he was 280 i was like, 198 (after the gain) and he kept saying i was the one 'getting fat and had to do something about it" and yet he kept taking me out to eat.... sorry to harp this was a year or so ago :) ... he started making me go to the gym with him (believe me he had no muscle tone, he used to have to lift his stomach up to get change out of his fanny pack... him wearing a fanny pack is a WHOLE other story!

i think i should have gone to therapy when we went to a street festival and he took his shirt off, fanny pack still in place and then asked if i wanted a sausage sammich and proceeded to lift his belly to get money.... you really would think i could have lost weight from a lack of appetite after that... damn i am mean... *heh heh*

the last straw was we went to the gym and i was feeling really good and for the first time & i really wanted to eat a light salad for dinner (i used to HATE salad) and he said 'we are going to the delta grill for cajun" and i said 'well, i really don't want cajun but maybe i can find something light to eat" and he then said "no, you WILL have the pork chop etoufee" (i hate etoufee to begin with...) that was the night before we broke up... good riddance... only thing that reminds me of him is my stomach (which is shrinking...seriously!!! i have lost 30 pounds since then - so far!)....

at least i have a good 20 minutes of material for my stand-up set from that relationship (looking at bright side!!!!)

so HE was not from match.com, nor was gay boy...

but i HAVE received some wacky emails from guys..

one:

"HI, USUALLY OVERPOWER EVERYONE I TALK TO, I DON'T MEAN TO DO THAT IN THE BUSINESS OR ANYONE ELSE I TALK TO, SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW WHEN TO SAY STOP. SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RESPECT THE PEOPLE AROUND ME, BUT SOMETIMES THEY AREN'T THINKING THE SAME THING I AM, I WANT TO DO SO MUCH MORE THAN WHAT I AM. HAVE KNOW IDEA WHY I SPEND SO MUCH TIME HERE. WILLING TO FLY. CALL ME COLLECT WANT TO MEET"

(yeah, like i am gonna call him... he lives in indiana and raises tigers...)

next:

"I am writing you for Croatia / Europe. I want to move to USA If you get marry and you live with me for 3 years, i will pay you that for that service If we fell in love in that 3 years i could be faithfulll to you and stay with you untill the rest of your life. Write me your conditions on: xxxxxxxxxx@pu.hinet.hr. Bogy"

so i always have THAT to fall back on :)

and the latest one today:

"Hello Gigglechick, When The sun Was setting slowly, Behind tall coconut trees On the Gikamanga mountains, And in the valley Lanterns began flickering In the windows, I was sauntering Through the streets of profiles, In this town of Match.com. Then I became attracted to yours. The bright red hibiscus flowers On the fence and Jasmine along The cobblestone walkway, A marble statue of Eros Next to the wooden well, White lace curtains billowing In the sea breeze, I could see. And a soft instrumental Sitar Music floating through the bush I could hear. I Stopped and looked. And smiling I wondered, Is she the one I have been waiting for, Who is kind and compassionate, Warm and friendly, Intelligent and witty, And daring to be different? Is she ready to be loved Passionately and for ever, Is she ready to start The Spring as a new Chapter in her life? In a world teeming with ordinary, Mediocrity and games Does she stand apart? So I took out a piece of papyrus And my quill. I put a note on your door That says, "Hello Gigglechick, I would love to know you!" With my warm wishes, Kunal "

the 1st was from Indiana, the next CROATIA, and this one is in new hampshire... don't exactly dig sitar music, pal...

i have met a couple of other guys... one taped Days of Our Lives and i started to have flashbacks of walking in on that guy at the company party... and the next one, well, that was the saint patrick's day incident that is still a bit dicy to yap about... let's just say i haven't spoken to him in a month.

the ones i have met haven't been too bad, actually it's fun to talk to different folks... and it IS HARD to meet people in this huge city... there are a fair share of freaks who AREN'T online and are just milling about near a bar slurring about one's eyes...

i dunno... lately i have been thinking i should scrap the whole idea of dating anyone for a while... and hunker down and write the damned children's book i have in my head... procrastination is a factor, fear of not being able to write is another...

well, i feel i have yammered on enough for the time being... any single guys out there you know of, send 'em my way --

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