no more ballet career for me....

May 10th, 2001

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so... here's my schtick... i hate my feet. primarily my left foot (sorry daniel day lewis) it seems that when i was conceived my genes and parts were divided up between mom and dad...

hair: brown - dad
eyes: brown - mom
eyebrows: in grade school they called me Breznef... need i say more? - dad
nose: mom
chin: dad (Bennett chin, passed down thru many generations
right foot: dad's - lovely foot.
left foot: mom's - gives me grief...

so, the latest bout with my tootsies on the ol' left ped... well, um, not to get ill, but -- ingrown toenail
this happened a few days ago... thinking it'll get better if i get another pedicure, i go to the korean girl down the street - she's good, she doesn't do a shudder take when i shove my feet in front of her.

so my toes are looking spiffy yesterday... this morning i wake up and i was fred flintsone. yabbadabbaYEOWCH!
i call around to try and find a podiatrist.. okay so i didn't call but i checked out my insurance co.'s website and found a dr. near where i work... call up and they are like get in here before 11:30am! ASAP!!

i am thinking oh my gawd, my toe is gonna fall off! (no i was not that lucky)

i get there at 10:30am. to what i thought would be a NORMAL doctor's office... normal. but this is ME we are talking about. remember?

i enter what i believe MIGHT have been a third world country on 26th street, complete with 7 different languages being spoken, a HUGE woman in the corner eating boiled chicken from a tupperware container, a 78 year old man that had 2 heartattacks in 2 months and who proceeded to whip out a wad of hundred $ bills totalling $3000 that he was going to give to the bank and get a certified check for a condo in florida... WHY do i know this?? BECAUSE i seemed to be the ONLY english speaking person in the waiting room that was within earshot... ok, i was NOT within earshot, i was 15 feet away on the other side of the room but he proceeded to speak VERY LOUDLY ABOUT THESE ISSUES AND OTHERS INCLUDING A RECAP OF THE IDIOTS ON JAY LENO - YOU KNOW HE HAS THAT TONIGHT SHOW LATE AT NIGHT WHEN HE IS UP TAKING HIS MIDNIGHT BOWEL MOVEMENT....

ok, there was more, but....

so after sitting there from 10:30 am til 12:45M, my name was called (this is after being called up to the girl's desk in the other room after the butcher my name 3x, ask for my co-pay, ask me again who i am, and a few other things... ARRGH... they couldn't come into the other room i suppose because it's FUN to make people that have hurtin' feet get up and walk... i am bitchy as hell at this point

ok i am now called into the room by the doctor (who is turning 30 this weekend) and he proceeds to stick my big ol' toe with 8 needles and then starts working on the toe -- i am watching all of what's happening, no problem, i kinda like the med stuff... hell, i watch surgeries on tv... so i am fine...then he starts to bandage the toe up and .... i faint. apparently i cannot handle NOT seeing the sight of blood. all is fine now, toe was KILLING me earlier when the shots wore off, and he offered me pain killers which i suppose i was trying to look like a toughy and declined... IDIOT. so i am wacked out on 3 midols (that's all i had in my apartment)

he asked me "why did you come here? it's like a clinic, didn't you know that?" -- um. can't say as they wrote CLINIC in my insurance info... so he gave me an appointment at his private practice, told me not to tell the 'girls outside or he'd get in trouble" - so tuesday i am NOT going to the 3rd world again --- thank gawd.

what i am doing this weekend is heading down the shore to mom's... she's quitting smoking (she made it 16:15 hours yesterday without a cigarette... damned proud of her!) and i am PMSing.... i had better buy more midol, or start taking valium, or hell... go out and drink (ha ha ha)

that's it, friends is on now - haven't watched it all season... damned Survivor!!!

take care, my rascals!!!


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