zzzip it up, buddy....

May 31st, 2001

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so tonight i was taking the PATH train home... and i actually had a seat... then a guy got on at 23rd street and the train wasn't all that crowded, there were some seats left, and also there were standing areas still available near the doors...

this guy strolls over smack dab in front of me. yay.

he begins to swing back and forth with the rocking of the train. i have seen people do this before, but this time, well, this time was different.

his zipper was all the way down... believe me, i do NOT usually gaze at a guy's crotch, especially on the train... but it was there doing it's impression of Grover doing "Near.......... Far...........Near.......... Far..........."

He had his one hand in his pocket that was moving (i swear) and the jerk was like 6 inches from my face... so i snarled...

he sighed...letting out the most garlicky funky breath... thank gawd my stop was approaching, i get up and the guy brushes his hand on my hip and said "nice tits"

to which i said nothing, but wouldn't you know it, the train lurched and i had to hip check him... i am not sure if anyone else felt the train move like i did, but....

why are there such trolls in the world?

this reminds me of when i was living in philadelphia during college and i was walking home from class, my arms full, carrying my art tackle box and portfolio at either side and there was an old man walking towards me he smiled, said hi...so i said hello and then he reached out and grabbed my left breast...

STUNNED! what the hell!?!?!?! did that just happen!?!? to this day i get creeped out thinking about that incident.

granted, the 'girls' are not subtle, they aren't the hugest boobies in the world either, but what the hell makes a guy think they have the right to do this shit? i mean those two moments were not incited by me getting up on a bar and dancing to dueling banjos... i would understand, but even that night the guys were civil about it.

but COME ON! the "girls" are not horns that honk, they aren't silly putty, they aren't honeydew melons that need to be felt to see if they are ripe, they aren't softballs, they are not water balloons hoping to be handled, they are real, i am not walking down the street and grabbing the testes of any guy i think has a decent package... would i get nasty looks from them if i DID do that? there's a thought.

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