baby, it's been a while...

October 4th, 2000

So, I am sitting here, it's 7:26pm EST. I have been unemployed since September 15th. Believe me, it's a blessing... it's been more like a vacation than anything else.

Here's the skinny... (Cliff Notes Style) I used to be part of a company called methodfive. methodfive was eaten by a horrible corporate empire named Xceed. Xceed being evil and all, I was not happy... but... I decided to give it a chance, stick with it, see if it got better... it didn't. They laid off 40% of the company on 09/15/2K.

I was hired by, and I start on October 9th at, Digitas.com which should be sweeeeeeet. I cannot wait to start fresh and new.

What else has been going on? Remember in the last rant when I said:

" I don't think I am prone to falling so damn fast into that crazy well called "Love" as I used to be...I've tripped over it once or twice, caught a bad sprain, but was back on my feet and walking steadily a few days later." ?

Well, I am now bedridden in a full blown body cast because of it.

So much for playing things cool. Within a week and a half, I was smitten... Damn.

It is all Xceed's doing, too. If I hadn't HATED it there, I never would have met the new boy. He's my recruiter.

So, all things do happen for a reason. I actually met him on August 1st, ranted to him about the heartbreak. Bantered with him like Hepburn and Tracey, have fought with him like a wildcat and an elk. Have cried to him like a complete co-dependant freak. All lovely qualities, hmmmm? ugh.

Have you ever dealt with someone that IS calm. That doesn't succumb to bouts with jealousy, who actually seems to be strong. Well, this is him. But he's almost too strong for his own good... okay for MY own good. Dagnabit. There HAS to be a happy medium between apathy and potential stalkerism, right? I think we have to find it, or else this thing is being driven into the ground like a stake .

And being unemployed, I have more time to focus on him.

This is NOT good. I am trying to calm myself down and focus on me - it's hard.

(hey everyone, don't worry, I skipped a hell of a lot, you missed stuff, I just got fake nails and it hurts to type, so bear with me, i feel like an idiot with these things... betcha i snap 'em off in 3 days)

He makes my stomach actually leap up and down like a frantic puppy whenever I see him, whether it be up close or when I spot him walking toward me from a block away. He makes my cheeks hurt from smiling so much, yet he also can make my heart ache when he says he loves me yet he's scared. He flipped my claddagh ring over (which, TO ME, that is a really special thing, sure others MAY find it silly, i don't...) Then he flipped it back to it's upright position 3 weeks later....

What the hell? I really wish my fingers were bloated that night "Um... no... sorry, you can't turn it back, it's stuck." (memo to self: eat more salt)

I feel as if I am taking that first step out of the plane again... not knowing if I will have a brilliant experience with him, or have my heart plummet 10,000 feet to it's demise. All I know is that I want to jump with him to experience this crazy feeling I am having, whether it be a short ride or a long journey. I really should have seen who I was getting to pack my chute. *sigh*

GAK. I am getting really mushy, and as I type this an ominous thunderstorm is arriving so I shall save, upload, and shut this down so I can be safe and watch the West Wing.

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